Tag: God

Classic joke · No. 5298

Where Is He?

A Hebrew school teacher asked his students. "Where is God?" The room was filled with children that raised their hands to respond. "Okay, Moshe,…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5304

Met him once, too

“Our Rabbi is an extraordinary man. He is so pious that the Almighty himself comes to see him. The other day the Rabbi told…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5307

Davening Means Praying?

Moshe dies and seconds later he sees G-d ready to judge him. "I hope to be judged favorably G-d, how well do you think…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5308

A letter of encouragement

A Rabbi prayed to God in turmoil over the sinful state of his city, "Lord, most of the people in the city have no…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5311

10-inches Deep and Drowning!

A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to G-d.…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5318

It Happened in Heaven

An orthodox Rabbi dies and goes to heaven. As he's approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5351

Modern Jewish Proverbs

"Truth is the safest lie." "Just as courage imperils life, fear protects it." "He who puts up with insult invites injury." "God could not…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5354

Curiosity

A group of Israeli tourists were watching the re-enactment of an ancient Egyptian religious ritual. One Israeli turned to a nearby local, pointed to…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5367

Eight days to remove it

An observant Jew who lived on Park Avenue, built a Sukkah on his balcony. Some of his 'high society' non-Jewish neighbors brought him to…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5373

Diet Tips

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5389

Jewish Thinking

For many years around 1890, the border between Poland and Russia was volatile. Due to a political shift, Morris Rabinowitz, a tailor, found that…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5395

From the Cock Pit

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the Captain announced: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5398

Ah Believe!

A old Jew stumbles into a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5400

Greek humor

Comicus: The Jews are so poor... Swiftus: How poor are they? Comicus: Thank you. They are so poor... That they only have one God!…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5403

21st Century Synagogue Rabbi

"Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindles to Art Scroll page 232. And please switch on your Bluetooth…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5425

Hillary, the adaptable candidate

(from a speech given recently) Ladies of Hadassah. Let me start by saying how nice it is to be among mishpoche. I'm reminded of…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5443

The Test

An old rabbi had a teenage son and he wanted to see what the boy would be like when he grew into a man.…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5113

Funny you should come to me

A Jewish father was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5116

Moses up to date

"Excuse me, sir." "Is that you again, Moses?" "I'm afraid it is, sir." "What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?" "How did…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5134

The ten plagues contract

Dear Supreme Being: Thanks again for accepting our bid for the ten plagues contract. As agreed, the following pestilences will be delivered to you…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5262

The Jewish engineers

Abe, Sammy and Hershel are discussing what kind of an engineer might have helped God when He designed the human body. Abe feels it…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5265

God’s vacation

G-d decided he needed a vacation. One of his aides suggested Venus. "Forget it," God said, "I went there 10,000 years ago and got…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5268

What God said after he created man

Q: What did God say after he created man? A: "I can do better than this."

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 4390

My rabbi performs miracles

Two delegates to a convention in Las Vegas were sitting in the lounge of the Excalibur Hotel, bragging about their rabbis. "My rabbi performs…

By The Joke Desk