[My thanks to Ian & Jackie for the following joke]
Maurice wakes up one morning feeling lousy. “Becky, he shouts, “I’m feeling terrible, I’m sore all over, what should I do?
“So go see Doctor Myers,” she replies.
After a thorough examination Doctor Myers says, “I am sorry to have to tell you this Maurice, but I have bad news for you. You’re very ill and in my opinion you don’t have very long to live – anything from a few days to 3 months. I suggest you go home and make the necessary arrangements.”
Maurice is devastated.
Later that evening, after the crying is over, Maurice tells Becky that as he is a devoted golfer, he would like to be buried with his golf clubs. If there’s a golf course in heaven, he would then have his clubs to play with.”
But Becky says, “Maurice, as neither of us knows if there is a golf club up in heaven, I think you should go see Rabbi Levy and ask for his opinion.”
Maurice goes to see Rabbi Levy. “Rabbi, is there a golf course in heaven?”
Rabbi Levy says, “I’ll speak to God for you. Come back in a few days time.”
Two days later, Maurice returns. “Rabbi, have you any news?’
Rabbi Levy says, “Yes, Maurice, I have spoken to God and I have some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that God says there is the most wonderful golf course you could imagine in heaven. The sun shines every day, 365 days a year and you can play golf to your heart’s content.”
Maurice says, “That’s wonderful news, Rabbi, but what’s the bad news?”
Rabbi Levy replies, “Tomorrow morning 8 o’clock – you tee off.”
Credit: David Minkoff, A Word In Your Eye