Early Jewish Web Jokes
From the joke pages of the 1990s web, rescued from the Wayback Machine.
In this collection
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5095Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5095
The Hebrew Geek Code
------------------------------------------------------- Qualifiers: A&B Means A and B A/B Means ranging from A to B ------------------------------------------------------- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Shabbat Observance S--- I stone people…
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5276Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5276
The book purchase
Did you hear about Moishe, who was sexually inexperienced? One day, Moishe went into a bookshop and bought 'How to Hug'. Later…
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5277Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5277
Get the facts first
Fay goes to see Rabbi Gross. "I have a problem, rabbi," she says. "Yesterday, after yet another argument with my Ruben, he…
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5278Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5278
Benjy the thief
Benjy had been arrested and was now up before the judge. The judge asks, "Do you admit you broke into the same…
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5279Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5279
Where the Jews wail
A tourist in Jerusalem asks for directions: "Where is this place where the Jews wail and cry?" Answer: "The tax office is…
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5097Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5097
The Halachah of M&Ms: a Purim spiel
The Cast: Narrator, holds the whole play together like caramel in a candy bar. Mr Goodbar, a member of the Elite Ruth,…
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5098Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5098
The Megillah of Bill Clinton
Now it came to pass in the days of Bill Clinton, he is the Bill Clinton who was President of the United…
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5099Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5099
The Purim story to the tune of “Copacabana”
The Purim story has everything - sex, violence, romance - everything but A cheezy soundtrack. To fix that one problem, here is…
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5102Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5102
A holiday named after his love life
Benny was talking to his best friend Sam. "Don’t tell anyone, Sam, but mine Sadie once again had a headache last night.…
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5280Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5280
For Starters, Take My Grandmother
My Jewish grandmother practically invented multi-taking - she could worry about six things at once.
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5282Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5282
Obviously a Jewish Mother
A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he went inside and told his…
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5283Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5283
Your Cheatin’ Heart
"My wife is the most suspicious woman in the world", complained Morris, the harried husband to a sympathetic friend. Last year she…
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5284Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5284
Sitting Shiva
Moishe had a wife named Gitel, who nagged him unmercifully. From morning until night (and sometimes later), for the 65 years they…
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5285Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5285
So Ashamed
"Morris I'm ashamed of the way we live," a young wife said to her lazy husband who refused to find a job.…
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5286Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5286
Mad Cow
Morris and his wife are seated in a fancy French restaurant for dinner. After the waiter arrives, the man says, "I'll have…
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5287Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5287
The Eulogy
Old man Morris had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the town’s Rabbi talked at length of the good traits…
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5288Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5288
Be Grateful
Morris takes his wife Pearl to Dr Schwartz for her annual medical. After examining her, Dr Schawrz has a quiet word with…
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5289Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5289
Communications
Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman over heard her aunt and uncle…
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5290Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5290
Chewed Up, Chewed Out
Sarah the wife, chewed out Morris, her husband, at the company picnic. "Doesn't it embarrass you that people have seen you go…
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5291Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5291
Jewish House Keepers
Regardless of what you may hear, there's still many women these days who are excellent "housekeepers". Seems each time they get a…
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5292Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5292
Fentestic!
Two Jewish matrons, friends from the old country, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white pillared mansion in Miami…
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5293Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5293
In Hebrew School
A Jewish school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5 and 6 year-olds. After explaining the commandment "Honor thy Father…
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5294Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5294
Chanukah presents
Manny and John are walking to school one day and Manny is describing his new Playstation 2 to John. "Where did you…
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5295Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5295
Moses’s Gift to the Auto Industry
My five-year-old daughter excitedly greeted her mother: "Guess what we made in Jewish school today, Mommy. We made unleaded bread!"