Classic Jokes
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5296Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5296
From the Mouth of the Young
A Hebrew school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to the synagogue service, "And why is it necessary to…
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5306Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5306
It Always Comes Back
A rabbi was making his rounds to his congregational members on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a…
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5307Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5307
Davening Means Praying?
Moshe dies and seconds later he sees G-d ready to judge him. "I hope to be judged favorably G-d, how well do you think…
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5309Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5309
Mine’s Bigger Than Yours
I was scolding our Rabbi for his habit of starting synagogue services five or ten minutes late. I mentioned that in my years with…
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5313Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5313
The Rabbi and the Sheriff
The sheriff of a small town in the South was less than cooperative with the local Jewish community. One day a dead mule was…
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5319Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5319
Synagogue names
The new marketing strategy of targeting groups has finally reached synagogues.... Some of the new congregations follow: For Gay Congregations - B'nei Feggela For…
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5320Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5320
No excuse to miss shul
Sign on a synagogue just before Yom Kippur: “Your sins are not so many that you should stay out… Or so few that you…
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5321Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5321
Hamlet in the Temple basement
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Temple basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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5322Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5322
I Understand, part III
Members of the Orthodox women's Shul Sisterhood were concerned because a widowed Shul member and her three small daughters were staying away from services.…
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5323Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5323
Synagogue bulletins
These sentences actually appeared in bulletins or were announced in services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.…
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5324Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5324
A classic
Two brothers, identical twins, joined a shul and decided to take out only one subscription and that each would go on alternate weeks and…
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5325Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5325
How to stay safe in the world today
Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20 percent of all fatal accidents. Do not stay at home because 17 percent of…
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5326Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5326
Chasid, be Careful in Texas
A big burly young Chasid from the Mea Sha'arim ultra Orthodox area went to America to schnoor money. As he travel around the country…
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5327Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5327
No graven images
Said one man to the other after the Rabbi’s Yom Kippur sermon on the congregation’s myriad of sins: “Well, at least I haven't made…
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5332Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5332
What about the rest of us?
Lexus announced coincidentally on the eve of Yom Kippur, that it was recalling 72,000 of its luxury cars, causing many to comment that "I…
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5343Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5343
Deep in the Heart of Texas
At the turn of the 20th century, Moishe, a religious jew is traveling by train from Galveston, Texas to Dallas, Texas. Somewhere in between…
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5356Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5356
Top Ten Jewish Oxymorons
10) Jewish Organization 9) Breakaway Minyan 8) El Al Food 7) Singles Group 6) Israeli Culture 5) Fast Food 4) Plastic Silverware 3) Career…
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5382Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5382
Confidential Info
Our rabbi announced that admission to one of our shul's social events would be seven dollars ($7) per person. "However," he said, "if you're…
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5397Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5397
The Golf Crises
O'Brien loved to play golf and would go out alone to a course and get paired up with any group that needed a fourth.…
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5403Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5403
21st Century Synagogue Rabbi
"Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindles to Art Scroll page 232. And please switch on your Bluetooth…
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5413Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5413
’Twas the night after Seder
Twas the night after Seder, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The fish and the kugel, (oh…
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5422Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5422
Where the Knesset was built
The familiar Midrash (as background) Once there were two brothers, each with a farm on the opposite side of the same hill. The first…
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5143Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5143
New shul policy at Congregation Olam Hasheker
To address simultaneously two long outstanding problems in the community - the lack of decorum and the lack of funds - we are pleased…
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5272Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5272
Who needs friends?
Rabbi Bloom was having trouble getting a minyan together. Several families with strong anti-war views had recently left his synagogue and taken up the…