Classic Jokes

Classic joke · No. 5279

Where the Jews wail

A tourist in Jerusalem asks for directions: "Where is this place where the Jews wail and cry?" Answer: "The tax office is just around…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5311

10-inches Deep and Drowning!

A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to G-d.…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5318

It Happened in Heaven

An orthodox Rabbi dies and goes to heaven. As he's approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5319

Synagogue names

The new marketing strategy of targeting groups has finally reached synagogues.... Some of the new congregations follow: For Gay Congregations - B'nei Feggela For…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5334

Dreidel cycle

Is it true that in Israel the washing machines say "Dreidel cycle" instead of "spin?"

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5354

Curiosity

A group of Israeli tourists were watching the re-enactment of an ancient Egyptian religious ritual. One Israeli turned to a nearby local, pointed to…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5356

Top Ten Jewish Oxymorons

10) Jewish Organization 9) Breakaway Minyan 8) El Al Food 7) Singles Group 6) Israeli Culture 5) Fast Food 4) Plastic Silverware 3) Career…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5418

A Semi-True Story

When Golda Meir held the office of Prime Minister, she tried to encourage Henry Kissinger to make Israel a top priority. He sent her…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5419

It Really Happened!

A general noticed one of his Israeli soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say:…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5421

Israel’s 60th

The state of Israel turned 60 this year. It won't be long before it moves to Florida.

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5422

Where the Knesset was built

The familiar Midrash (as background) Once there were two brothers, each with a farm on the opposite side of the same hill. The first…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5424

In Gay Paris

An Israeli in Paris saw a pit bull attacking a toddler. He killed the pit bull and saved the child's life. Reporters swarmed the…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5427

With Politicians Like This, Who Needs Jokes?

(An Israeli politician addressing his fellow parliamentarians) "Friends, yesterday we stood on the edge of the abyss, but today we have taken a great…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5438

Two wishes

An Israeli , a German and a Frenchman are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden,…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5440

Authorities Overwhelmed

In an effort to overcome the continuing criticism that he is unsupportive and in fact dismissive of Israel, one of America's closest allies, today…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5161

The space pen

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5168

Israeli Purim gramin, 2003

A note of warning: These are best appreciated after downing a shot or 2... The Kinneret is filling up B"H just fine We finally…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5172

The only Jew in the family

An OVIR officer asks a man: - Why are you going to Israel? - My wife has no peace. Every moment she pleas: "Lets…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5173

Why Rabinovich is leaving

- Rabinowich, why did you decide to leave for Israel? - You know, I'm 80 now. How many years more will I live? At…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5176

Communism in Israel?

Is it possible to build communism in Israel? -Why would such a small country need such big happiness?

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5177

Rabinovich’s dream

Rabinowich was ostracized by The Communist Party. One night, he had a dream that Israel declared war on Russia and won. He next saw…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5182

What will you take on your back?

Three men are traveling in the Amazon, an Italian an Israeli, and an Arab, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5187

The Jew of the kings

When Rothschild was asked to become the first President of the state of Israel, he answered: "I prefer to be the Jew of the…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5189

Let’s declare war on America

Setting: Israeli cabinet meeting, 1968. Secretary of Finance: "The situation is desastrous, we are almost bankrupt. The military is very costly, the taxes are…

By The Joke Desk