Classic Jokes
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5095Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5095
The Hebrew Geek Code
------------------------------------------------------- Qualifiers: A&B Means A and B A/B Means ranging from A to B ------------------------------------------------------- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Shabbat Observance S--- I stone people walking to…
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5280Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5280
For Starters, Take My Grandmother
My Jewish grandmother practically invented multi-taking - she could worry about six things at once.
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5282Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5282
Obviously a Jewish Mother
A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he went inside and told his mother the…
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5289Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5289
Communications
Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman over heard her aunt and uncle one day:…
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5293Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5293
In Hebrew School
A Jewish school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5 and 6 year-olds. After explaining the commandment "Honor thy Father and thy…
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5295Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5295
Moses’s Gift to the Auto Industry
My five-year-old daughter excitedly greeted her mother: "Guess what we made in Jewish school today, Mommy. We made unleaded bread!"
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5297Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5297
Jewish Father, Jewish Mother
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the…
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5298Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5298
Where Is He?
A Hebrew school teacher asked his students. "Where is God?" The room was filled with children that raised their hands to respond. "Okay, Moshe,…
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5300Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5300
The Jewish Mind
There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. He said he was my new neighbor across…
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5301Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5301
Absence Makes the Heart
Little Morris stared at his test paper. The big red "F" stared back at him. Sammy looked at his glum friend and asked, "Why…
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5302Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5302
Intelligence
Little Morris went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied: "Well, Morris my…
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5317Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5317
Shabbos Ends Quickly in Williamsburg
A man crosses Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, ON SHABBOS, when he sees a pack of money. With a rubber band around it...HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS!…
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5103Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5103
What Jews don’t do
They don't: Dress up in white sheets and burn crosses on people's lawns. Listen to Rush Limbaugh. Ride horses and shoot guns at the…
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5339Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5339
Airline Incident
On a Northwest Airways flight from Atlanta, GA., a middle-aged, well-to-do woman found herself sitting next to a man wearing a kippa. She called…
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5341Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5341
Knowing How to Give a Speech
Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. But it turned out the rope was not strong enough to carry them all,…
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5105Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5105
Noah’s ark: gopher wood and other puns
The Bible tells us that Noah's ark was made of "gopher wood." Scholars aren't quite sure what kind of wood that was. Some suspect…
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5106Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5106
Why Jewish men become doctors
Q: Why do Jewish men so often become doctors? A: Because a doctor can order a woman to undress without guilt, he can look…
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5346Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5346
Who is a Jew?
Of the ongoing controversy among Jews about what constitutes actual Jewishness, there is an old joke: Two terrorists hijack an airplane. One enters the…
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5347Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5347
Almost Success
This older musician had moderate success in his field, but he was a wonderful music teacher. One day he had an inspiration and decided…
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5107Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5107
Did you check for a pulse?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No.…
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5353Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5353
Four in between five
A Mathematician Asks: Can you write 4 in between 5? Answers: Chinese man: Is this a joke? Japanese man: Impossible! American person: The question's…
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5358Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5358
Jewish Modesty
A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner. Catholic: "I have a large fortune....I am going…
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5359Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5359
Moshe Darling
The manager noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing…
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5361Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5361
Yachta, Yachta, Yachta
Goodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who dreamed of making the big money someday. He took his friend out for a drive, and he…