Ladies and Gentlemen, my name’s Louis Bagel, and this is Matzah Number Five.
One, Two, Three Four Five, Everybody likes to eat corn beef on rye
And I, like my bagels in the toaster But Oy Vey! I won’t eat ham & cheese it’s really not Kosher
I love some gefilte fish A good K’nish didn’t like my brish
Yamulkes, Florida, Kashka and Matzah, I eat Kreplach, it’s kinda like pasta
White fish, herring, but please no pork Lox so big you gotta use a knife-n-fork,
My oh my, it’s so good let me eat it Potato Latkes, oh boy! you can’t beat it!
Chorus I really love that Hannukah lasts eight nights A little bit of Passover is allright, A really big Bar Mitzvah’s what I had I’m movin’ to Miami just like my dad,
Rosh HaShannah, the Jewish New Year I really like a bagel with some schmear, My mother’s name is Esther, my dad is Stan I’d like to go and see Barbara Streisand!
Oh Yeah!
Matzah Number Five!
Matzah Number Five!
Oy Vey! Oy Vey! Let’s Go! Let’s have a nice party!