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Classic joke · No. 5325 Filed under: doctors, lists

How to stay safe in the world today

Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20 percent of all fatal accidents.

Do not stay at home because 17 percent of all accidents occur in the home. (that’s 37 % already)

Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14 percent of all accidents occur to pedestrians. (now that’s 51%)

Avoid traveling by air, accidents involve these forms of transportation. (that’s 67%)

Of the remaining 33 percent, 32 percent of all deaths occur in hospitals. Above all else avoid hospitals.

You will be pleased to learn that only 0.01 percent of all deaths occur in a synagogue, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders.

Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is in Synagogue services.

Torah Study is even safer. The number of deaths during Torah Study is too small to register.

For safety’s sake, go to the synagogue as often as possible, and attend Torah Study. It could save your life!

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Where this joke has been

Source: Originally published in the Jewish Magazine’s humor pages (jewishmag.com), as saved by the Wayback Machine in 2008.

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