Early Jewish Web Jokes
From the joke pages of the 1990s web, rescued from the Wayback Machine.
In this collection
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5296Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5296
From the Mouth of the Young
A Hebrew school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to the synagogue service, "And why is it…
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5297Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5297
Jewish Father, Jewish Mother
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should…
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5298Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5298
Where Is He?
A Hebrew school teacher asked his students. "Where is God?" The room was filled with children that raised their hands to respond.…
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5299Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5299
Getting it Down to the Basics
Little Morris, 4 years old, walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach…
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5300Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5300
The Jewish Mind
There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. He said he was my new…
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5301Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5301
Absence Makes the Heart
Little Morris stared at his test paper. The big red "F" stared back at him. Sammy looked at his glum friend and…
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5302Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5302
Intelligence
Little Morris went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied: "Well,…
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5304Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5304
Met him once, too
“Our Rabbi is an extraordinary man. He is so pious that the Almighty himself comes to see him. The other day the…
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5305Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5305
So Stop it!!
Rabbi Sam Wolfson was giving his speech to the Jewish federation about the "Tragedy of Jewish Inter-Marriage" with non-Jews. Toward the end…
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5306Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5306
It Always Comes Back
A rabbi was making his rounds to his congregational members on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to…
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5307Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5307
Davening Means Praying?
Moshe dies and seconds later he sees G-d ready to judge him. "I hope to be judged favorably G-d, how well do…
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5308Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5308
A letter of encouragement
A Rabbi prayed to God in turmoil over the sinful state of his city, "Lord, most of the people in the city…
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5309Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5309
Mine’s Bigger Than Yours
I was scolding our Rabbi for his habit of starting synagogue services five or ten minutes late. I mentioned that in my…
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5310Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5310
Fools Go Where Wise Men Fear to Tread
Rabbi Mendel was one day walking along a very narrow street, when he came face to face with a rival Rabbi. The…
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5311Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5311
10-inches Deep and Drowning!
A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise…
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5312Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5312
3 X 2 = 7
An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, "I gladdened seven hearts today." "Seven…
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5313Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5313
The Rabbi and the Sheriff
The sheriff of a small town in the South was less than cooperative with the local Jewish community. One day a dead…
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5315Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5315
Before forgiveness
As the rabbi began his lecture on repentance, he asked the class, "What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from…
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5316Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5316
For All the Young Rabbis
A young Rabbi was asked by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side burial service at a small rural cemetery for…
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5317Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5317
Shabbos Ends Quickly in Williamsburg
A man crosses Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, ON SHABBOS, when he sees a pack of money. With a rubber band around it...HUNDRED…
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5318Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5318
It Happened in Heaven
An orthodox Rabbi dies and goes to heaven. As he's approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels…
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5319Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5319
Synagogue names
The new marketing strategy of targeting groups has finally reached synagogues.... Some of the new congregations follow: For Gay Congregations - B'nei…
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5320Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5320
No excuse to miss shul
Sign on a synagogue just before Yom Kippur: “Your sins are not so many that you should stay out… Or so few…
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5321Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5321
Hamlet in the Temple basement
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Temple basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this…