My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned … couldn’t concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
but I just couldn’t hack it ‘ so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor,
but I just wasn’t suited for it ‘ mainly because it was a so-so job. Next I tried working in a Quick Fit Centre,
but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a barber,
but I just couldn’t cut it. Then I tried to be a chef,
figured it would add spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme. Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker,
but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard. My best job was being a musician,
but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor,
but I didn’t have any patients. Next was a job in a shoe factory,
I tried but I just didn’t fit in. I became a professional fisherman,
but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income. Thought about becoming a witch,
so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a job working for a swimming pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes,
but I was fired because I wasn’t up to it. So then I got a job in a gymnasium,
but they said I wasn’t fit for the job. Next, I found being an electrician interesting,
but the work was shocking.
After years of trying to find work, I finally got a job as an historian,
until I realised there was no future in it. My last job was working at Starbucks Coffee,
but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. SO I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM A PERFECT FIT FOR THE JOB!
Credit: David Minkoff, A Word In Your Eye