The new marketing strategy of targeting groups has finally reached synagogues…. Some of the new congregations follow:
For Gay Congregations – B’nei Feggela
For Chinese Congregations – Anshei Dragon
For New York City – Temple Rush, Rush, Rush
For Chicago – Etz Chaim Capone
For Atlanta – Acheinu Ayn Sherman
For Breighton Beach – Acheinu B’nei Yisroel v’Vodka
For Borough Park – Shaarei Peyos
For Hungarian – Am Goulash
For German – Precision You vill go to shul
For French – Aish Hatorah of oo-la-la
For Canadian – Anshei Bronfman
For Sports – Elokim Sfat P’nai Nu (AKA ESPN)
For the Homeless – Anshei Schnorrer
For the Fat – Shomrei Zaftig
For those who drop soup – Kehillat Schlemiel
For those on whose laps the soup is dropped – Kehillat Schlimazel
For alcoholics – Am Schicker
For Recovering Alcoholics – 12 Step Temple
For the rich – Tferis Gelt
For social pariahs – Knesset Nogoodniks
For SOB’s – Minyan Momzerim
For the Politically Correct – Temple Beth/Bat Hashadim (ot?)
For Rifle Owners – Shaarei Shadchun
For Corporate Types – Kesher Golem
For Meddlers – Acheinu B’nai Futzers
For the Arrogant – Kish Meyn Tokhhes of the Hamptons
For the connoisseur – Cheva Chazarei
For Psychiatrists – Shomrei Schmoozers
For Jerks – P’nai Putz
For followers of the Persian Prime Minister of 450 BCE – Kahal Haimish
For Infants – Young Israel
Frito Lay Aficionados – Nasher b’Yisroel
For the insensitive or boorish – Agudas Zhlub
For Big Deals – Teferis Tzimis
For Nosy persons – Hashomayr Schnoz
For the Ashen – Temple Tush
For those who gossip – Ohev Yenta of the National Enquirer