[My thanks to BMS for the following]
Morris is a shmuck and everybody knows it. He just cannot do anything without things going wrong because he just never thinks through any course of action he carries out. But he is a good looking guy and one day the unimaginable happens – he bumps into Naomi (literally), she falls in love with him and they marry.
As soon as they return from their honeymoon, Naomi insists that Morris looks for a suitable job that he can do without causing too many problems. Within weeks, he’s been hired by Minky Vacuum Cleaners as a door to door salesman.
Although all goes reasonably well in his first few weeks in the job, Morris somehow feels that he can sell more cleaners if he has a gimmick. Then, one afternoon, as he’s walking up the drive of his next potential customer, he notices some fresh dog turds on the path. He immediately knows what his gimmick is going to be and decides to try it out right away. He picks up the dog turds, puts them into one of his vacuum cleaner bags, wipes his hands on another bag, then knocks on the door.
A little old lady opens the door and sees a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Hello,” Morris says to her, “is it OK if I take a couple of minutes of your time to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners?”
“Go away,” she says to him, “I haven’t any money.”
But as she starts to close the door, Morris pushes it open again. “There’s no need to be hasty,” he says to her, “at least not until you have had a chance to see my demonstration.”
And before she can respond, Morris empties the dog turds onto her hallway carpet and says, “If this vacuum cleaner doesn’t remove every trace of these dog turds from your carpet, I will immediately eat whatever is left. Where’s the nearest power point?”
The little old lady steps back inside and replies, “My power points will do you no good because they don’t work. The Electricity Board cut off my electricity this morning because I couldn’t pay their bill. So let me now go get you a fork for your meal.”
Credit: David Minkoff, A Word In Your Eye