[My thanks to Stan for the following]
Issy, Benny and Howard went everywhere together. They were not only friends but also three very different people. Issy was an alcoholic, Benny was a heavy smoker and Howard was gay. However, over the years, all three became desperately ill so one day they decided to see a doctor to discuss their options.
The doctor examined each one in turn and when he had written up his notes, he looked up and with a very serious look on his face, addressed all three of them. He said, “It’s very clear to me that if you continue to indulge in your abhorrent vices, even just once, you will die. Please believe, I know what I’m talking about.”
Each one left the surgery determined never again to indulge in his vice. However, on their way home, they passed a wine bar. Issy heard the loud music, he smelled the drink and without thinking, led his friends inside and ordered a glass of wine. As soon as he had finished the drink, he fell dead on the floor.
Benny and Howard were totally shaken when they left the bar. They now realized more than ever the seriousness of their doctor’s warning.
As they continued home, Benny saw a cigarette end lying in the gutter. It was still alight but before Benny could do anything, Howard put his hand on Benny’s shoulder and said, “You know, if you bend down to pick up that cigarette end, we’re both dead.”
Credit: David Minkoff, A Word In Your Eye