[My thanks to Hilary A for the following]
Morry, the President of Edgware Amalgamated shul, is not as “orthodox” as the shuls committee would like him to be. But he knows a lot of influential people and gets things done. So they don’t complain too much about him.
This year, on the shabbes before Rosh Hashana, they decide to give him the honour of an aliyah and the shuls gabbai goes over to him to tell him of the decision.
But Morry panics. “Oy vay, I just can’t do this,” he says to the gabbai. “I can’t read Hebrew properly and I’ll embarrass everyone when I try to read the blessings. Please give the honour to someone else.”
“But Morry,” says the gabbai, “you must accept some kind of honour – after all, you are the shuls President.”
“I understand that,” says Morry. “Is there some other kind of honour that doesn’t require me to speak Hebrew?”
“How about gelilah?” replies the gabbai.
“What is gelilah?” asks Morry, looking puzzled.
The gelilah gets involved just after the torah is lifted at hagbah,” replies the gabbai. “As soon as the torah is lowered, the gelilah puts on the cover, breastplate and crown. The gelilah can then sit down – his job is over.”
“Well that seems fine to me. I can handle that,” says Morry. “It’s a deal. I accept.”
Fifteen minutes later, it’s hagbah time and Morry is up there waiting for the torah to be lowered. He then puts on the cover, breastplate and crown as instructed and goes back to his seat feeling very pleased with himself. The gabbai immediately goes over to him and whispers, “Morry, I didn’t mean on YOU, I meant on the torah!” shul: synagogue
shabbes:The sabbath, which lasts from sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday
Rosh Hashana: The Jewish New Year
gabbai: Synagogue warden
aliyah: To be called up to read a portion of torah scroll in synagogue.
gelilah: the person who “dresses” the torah
hagbah: the torah “lifter
Credit: David Minkoff, A Word In Your Eye