[My thanks to BMS for the following]
Avrahom and Rivkah are quite worried about their 30 year old son Jacob. They’re a Chassidic family and they feel that Jacob should have found a wife by now and had many children. So one day, Avrahom announces, “I’ve been in touch with a shadchen to help us find a wife for our Jacob, and he’s coming here tonight.”
“Oy vay,” says Jacob.
The shadchen arrives and immediately starts asking questions to enable him to find the right kind of daughter / daughter-in-law. At the end of his visit, the shadchen says to them, “You’ve answered my questions and I’ve been able to put together a “shopping list” of your requirements. I know what you want.”
“So do you have someone who meets our requirements?” asks Avrahom, hopefully.
“I think I might have the perfect woman,” replies the shadchen. “I’ll be back tomorrow night with some news.”
The next night, the shadchen returns and with a smile announces, “What a wonderful woman I’ve found.”
“So make with the details, already,” says Avrahom.
“Well,” says the shadchen, “I think this woman will be perfect for Jacob. She’s the right age; she keeps a Glatt Kosher home; she attends shul regularly; she davens by heart; she just adores children and wants to raise a large family; she’s a marvellous cook; and on top of all that, she’s very, very beautiful.”
On hearing this, Avrahom and Rivkah begin to discuss the prospects of an early wedding. But then Jacob, who up to now has remained silent, asks the shadchen, “Is she also good in bed?”
The shadchen thinks for a moment, then replies, “Well Jacob, some say yes…and some say no.” shadchen: a professional marriage broker
chassid chassidic: member of an orthodox religious sect
shul: synagogue
davens: prays
Credit: David Minkoff, A Word In Your Eye