Tag: lists
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5095Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5095
The Hebrew Geek Code
------------------------------------------------------- Qualifiers: A&B Means A and B A/B Means ranging from A to B ------------------------------------------------------- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Shabbat Observance S--- I stone people walking to…
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5319Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5319
Synagogue names
The new marketing strategy of targeting groups has finally reached synagogues.... Some of the new congregations follow: For Gay Congregations - B'nei Feggela For…
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5323Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5323
Synagogue bulletins
These sentences actually appeared in bulletins or were announced in services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.…
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5325Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5325
How to stay safe in the world today
Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20 percent of all fatal accidents. Do not stay at home because 17 percent of…
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5333Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5333
The Truth About Chanukah
Question: 'What is it that Jews do on each of the eight nights of Hanukkah?' Answer: 1st night - argue over which side of…
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5103Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5103
What Jews don’t do
They don't: Dress up in white sheets and burn crosses on people's lawns. Listen to Rush Limbaugh. Ride horses and shoot guns at the…
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5340Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5340
Top ten ways you know you are a reliable Jewish psychic
10. You hear the term "kosher style" and you immediately know it means you'll be eating treif 9. You know that any pretty single…
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5351Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5351
Modern Jewish Proverbs
"Truth is the safest lie." "Just as courage imperils life, fear protects it." "He who puts up with insult invites injury." "God could not…
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5356Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5356
Top Ten Jewish Oxymorons
10) Jewish Organization 9) Breakaway Minyan 8) El Al Food 7) Singles Group 6) Israeli Culture 5) Fast Food 4) Plastic Silverware 3) Career…
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5365Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5365
Cows
MARXISM-COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows the Government takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM: You have 2 cows the Government takes both and…
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5373Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5373
Diet Tips
1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they…
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5376Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5376
The top 10 rejected flavored matzos
10. Spearmint Matzoh 9. Marshmallow Matzoh 8. Licorice Matzoh 7. Root Beer Matzoh 6. Liver Matzoh 5. Anchovy Matzoh 4. Bubble-Gum Matzoh 3. Chorizo…
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5405Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5405
Who reads which paper
Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. The New York Times is read by people who think they run…
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5410Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5410
Rejected Jewish Books from Jewish Authors
10. Portnoy Is No Longer Complaining: Philip Roth writes this sequel about his hero, Alexander Portnoy in which he has nothing to complain about.…
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5114Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5114
Kids in the fifties
Were you a kid in the Fifties or so ? Everybody makes fun of our childhood! Comedians joke. Grandkids snicker. Twenty-something's shudder and say…
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5160Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5160
The real man test
Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions. In understanding this and carefully reviewing the "C" answer, women will come far…
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4374Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4374
Six Jews Who Changed the World
Six Jews who changed the way we see the world: Moses said: “Everything is law.”Jesus said: “Everything is love.”Marx said: “Everything is money.”Rockefeller said:…
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Jewish Life
I’m so frum I…
The funny thing about lists like this is that we all sit around laughing at our own stupid ideas and then one day, some…
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Shul Life
10 evil things that some shuls do
Evil is a word reserved for things I truly dislike, things I think that will bring klal yisroel down if we continue to practice.…
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Jewish Life
Hand Sanitizer and other things that Heshy Fried hates
Hate is a powerful word and being the super crunchy liberal I am, I rarely use the term. So the following list shouldn't be…
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Jewish Life
Top 20 Frummy scare tactics
If we spent some serious time we could collectively come up with a very long list of scare tactics used by our parents, friends,…
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Jewish Life
50 ways to make people think you’re frummer than you really are
Making people think you're frummer than you really are is actually a great way to make friends, get places to stay and find out…
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Dating & Marriage
Eight Worst Mikvah Ladies.
Guest Post by Mrs. Telz Angel. In honor of the marriage of Heshy and Chaya I wanted to share with you my top eight…
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Food & Kashrus
21 necessary evils of the frum community
They say that government and taxes are two necessary evils whether we like it or not. The frum community also has a lot of…