Tag: dating

Classic joke · No. 5202

A girlfriend called Mezuzah

Did you hear about the guy who called his girlfriend MEZZUZZA because she liked to be kissed?

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 5205

Sensitive, caring and handsome

Q: Why is it so difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and handsome? A: They already have boyfriends.

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 4419

Personal ad: Orthodox woman with get

Orthodox woman with get, seeks man who got get, or can get get. Get it? POB 72

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Classic joke · No. 4420

Personal ad: life in the fast lane

Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B'av, Taanis Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks companion for living life in…

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Classic joke · No. 4421

Personal ad: no in-laws

Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write. POB 74.

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Classic joke · No. 4423

Personal ad: a sensitive Jewish prince

I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll…

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Classic joke · No. 4426

Personal ad: staunch Jewish feminist

Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it.

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Classic joke · No. 4427

Personal ad: single Jewish woman, 29

Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.

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Classic joke · No. 4443

Woody gets dumped

Woody's girlfriend is breaking up with him. Hanna: I'm not breaking up with you because you're not good looking.... Woody: Oh, so you think…

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Classic joke · No. 4448

Personal ad: fleishig seeks milchig

Your place or mine? Divorced man, 42, with fleishig dishes only. Seeking woman with nice milchig set. Object macaroni. POB 77.

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 4450

Personal ad: Conservative rabbi, 45

Conservative rabbi, 45, I count women for the minyan and call them up to the Torah. Seeking female to make aliyah. POB 50.

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Classic joke · No. 4454

Dr. Right

Many a Jewish girl is still single these days. She just hasn't met Dr. Right yet.

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 4691

Is that living?

A young Jewish man bursts in on a matchmaker (Schadchen - is that the right term?). "You told me my bride's father was no…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 4692

Sturdy as an oak

A matchmaker and his assistant are extolling the virtues of a potential bride to a young Jewish man. "She has excellent health" says the…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 4693

The bouquet

A few of my friends and I attended a wedding. Being from Israel, this is naturally a Jewish wedding, and one of my friend…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 4698

Personal ad: diamond cutter

Successful orthodox diamond cutter. Both Shea and Yankee Stadium. No Shabbos games. Will not mow lawn during s'firah. Seeking wife. POB 41.

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Classic joke · No. 4700

Personal ad: shochet, 54

Shochet, 54, owns successful butcher shop in Midwest. Doesn't believe women should be treated like a piece of meat. Seeks glatt kosher maydl for…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 4703

Why the groom breaks the glass

Why is it that in traditional Ashkenaz culture weddings the groom stamps on small glass at the conclusion of the ceremony? Perhaps it is…

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Classic joke · No. 4718

Back to the honeymoon hotel

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and…

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 4726

The wedding crashers

Police have decided to let a large group of non Jewish men off on charges of crashing Jewish wedding feasts just to steal a…

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Classic joke · No. 4741

Personal ad: matzah supplier

Matzo supplier, 53, seeks cloth bag manufacturer. Let's play "Hide the Afikomen." POB 67.

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Classic joke · No. 4851

Personal ad: student of Kabbalah

Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please. POB 56.

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Classic joke · No. 4854

Personal ad: 80-year-old bubby

80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I? POB 545.

By The Joke Desk

Classic joke · No. 4855

Personal ad: desperately seeking shmoozing

Desperately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK.

By The Joke Desk