Just because I write a frum blog doesn’t mean I care about your dying grandmother! Yes, it had to be said, I’m sure you’re all going to jump on my shoulders for saying such insensitive things, but if you really want people davening for your friend who was just run over by a bus, the best way is not to spam the F$%# out of me, or everyone you know. Thank God for Gmail’s new feature that allows you to see if you’re the only recipient of said email, or I would have seriously considered davening for curses to all you tehillim spam artists out there. Now if you paid me, like some folks pay kupat hair, then that’s a different story.
Someone just forwarded me a new site which I want to bring to your attention, first because I said I’d write about, but most importantly because I bet your dying grandmother doesn’t want people like me cursing her for causing some spammy chain mail tehillim request form. So head on over to Refuah-Shelayma.org and do tehillim and prayer requests the web 2.0 (are we on 3.0 yet?) style. Apparently they are the worlds largest cholim list and tips on which tehillim work for what, I had no idea tehillim actually worked? You learn something new every day.
Please buy us something from our wedding registry!
Chain-mail Tehillim?:
Send this to 10 people and you will meet your Bashert. But if you don’t, the ghost of Sara Rivka will choke you with her snood.
The pic should say:
Misheberach
Delaying davening time by mentioning every single one of your relatives when you get an aliyah.
Well I and many have been saying Tehillim for Chaim Eliezer Lipman ben Devorah Leah, a young Chabad boy with a staggering 80% of his body covered in third degree burns as a result of a terrible fire that broke out in his home. Now just missing a hand, he is alive and WELL, like any normal kid, its incredible! Now I go around relating the Miracle and most people I talk to tell me they Davened for him, and I know his name was a popular one on Tehillim lists, so take 10 minutes and say a kapitel Tehillim because if Chas Vesholom, you would want us to say some for you 🙂
Kids is different. But I draw the line with adults. On the tzad that prayer works, then you better pray like your life depends on it. If you don’t, then my mumbling a guilt-kapitel in 3 seconds with some random name aint doing shit. No matter how many people you forward it too.
What’s the theory even? You say a 3 second kapitel, and God’s not gonna listen, but if 10,000 people say it, then mathematically, that’s 30,000 seconds of bullshit mumbling, so he HAS to listen. 30,000 seconds! God’s definitely impressed with that kind of bling.
What if you don’t subscribe to the view that Tehillim are magical incantations for getting results?
Then you’re a Kofer Bakol and should make some Kefitzas Haderech to Gehenom.
Due, Heshy I only wish we could afford to buy you some of those awesome chef knives to say thank you for this blog. I hope you get all of them though. What if I just send you one of my husband’s amazing chef knives in the mail? (Does the Post Office even allow sending such hazardous objects through the mail these days?) So, if I end up getting you a napkin ring, remember, in our hears it’s an awesome knife. 🙂
Its amazing how everyone jumps on the tehillim bandwagon when someone gets sick. do you even understand 1 word of what you are saying?? how is that going to help if you dont! how about doing a real mitzvah or learning in the persons merit. saying a few perakim and closing the book to go back to whatever you were doing cant possibly help anything but your conscience. nah too much work to do something productive, just say some tehillim its easy.
Can’t even see the title of this post without envisioning bearded men in Arthurian jousting garb trying to fit a streimel or a Borsalino over the chain mail. Does a ‘coif’ count as a yarmulke?