The Hocker Hall of Fame in Boro Park will induct the 4 shomrim who were shot while chasing a perv last night. Apparently the man was caught fondling himself near a girls school and a chase ensued. Then he pulled out a .22 caliber pistol and shot four of the shomrim. They were transferred to a nearby hospital and are in stable condition.
Shomrim are traditionally seen as the unsung heroes of the orthodox Jewish community, they keep the neighborhoods safe, the late night delis and local cell phone stores in business and they become shomrim because they care. Being part of the shomrim also grants you membership into an elite group that few are part of – you are now a hocker.
Hockers typically belong to organizations such as hatzolah, shomrim and volunteer firefighters, many hockers are also “in real estate” “in business” or “in construction” they tend to travel in packs, or make enough noise by themselves to be thought of traveling in packs and wear their bluetooths proud, the wives of hockers tend to be hot chanie’s and enjoy the time honored classic of spending their allowances on sushi and overpriced human hair pieces.
The 4 shomrim shot are viewed as heroes to the hocker community, giving shomrim a legitimacy not previously enjoyed. Previously, shomrim had been ridiculed as being a young neighborhood watch that makes sure Deli 52 and Subsational are crowded with shomrim jackets.
The Hocker Hall of Fame is located in the basement of Chap-A-Nosh, the ceremony will take place this coming Wednesday night.
Notes: Sources tell us that they have not identified the man, but that based on prior cases he was probably not frum. Unfortunately frum pervs like boys, not girls.
Hesh What the heck are shomrim?
not funny
sorry man. i love your site, but this is in poor taste
check this site every day……….really not appropriate this time
not appropriate… and way to much generalization going on, i know plenty of people in hatzolah and none of them are hockers and their wives are not hot chanies. despite what you might believe some people are aactually interested in doing the chessed and not for the action.
read the headlines on this site. and i quote ” it aint always frum and it aint always satire”
“not appropriate.” u guys sound like my grandma.
you mean to say if it wasnt for your grandmother you wouldnt know of anyone else that would say that the shooting for four people is simply not funny?
great granny
granny was funny, this is not…
granny also had a loose vag. who cares?
ben wa balls and soy. That is all.
OMG ShanaMaidel! LOL! ;^D
You lost on this one man. Just let it go like a fart in the wind.
better in the wind, then mikveh! :X
I read your site almost everyday, and I have to say that this really isn’t cool. Im from Detroit, and my husbands from Boro Park. This happened close to where we live. While many of these “hockers” have their priorities backwards, they all have wives and families and being shot isn”t funny. My husbands knows the 4 men personally and one of them is a long time member of shomrim. They work to protect the community. And no, the man wasn’t frum or Jewish and even if he was, exposing himself to boys wouldn’t be funny either.Some things can be satirized, but this is definitely not one of them.
<—– also in Detroit, and former resident of Boro Park…
You all must understand that the more you criticize me the more of a success I deem it to be.
Sorry Hesh, but I thought it was funny this time.
Especially the last line 🙂
Unfortunately this incident is part of a larger problem in which crime has been on the rise. A great deal of attention has been given to this recent incident and rightly so. However, it is even more frightening to think that only three days earlier the shomrim were shot at during a bank heist. For more details read; http://matzav.com/shomrim-members-shot-in-boro-park
Having said that, I wish a speedy recovery to the 4 shomrim and their families.
Is crime really on the rise?
No.
There was a very slight uptick a couple years ago and may be one now. We’re still at or near the lowest levels in history.
What’s up is the fear of crime, the perception of crime, the reporting of crime and a national obsession with crime and terror.
how anyone can make a joke of such a situation is beyond me
People getting shot= not funny
Making fun of Shomrim= always hilarious
Using this story as an excuse to make fun of shomrim= why the *$!@ not?
people getting shot= not funny
making fun of your mom= hilarious
you get the rest.
I have to say that your “guilty of poor taste on hocking on shomrim
What exactly are shomrim? Are they like the frum neighborhood watch?
I hope this awful criminal is caught ASAP. :^(
maybe a bit more than neighborhood watch
have to say i thought it was funny! he wasnt making fun of them getting shot, he was making fun of them hocking to begin with!
it is just totally wiered. some things are funny just before they leave our heads.
Heshy-You missed the point, the Shomrim in this instance were complete boobs, not so much hockers as shlemiels. On a more serious note, that they would leave their wives widowed and children orphaned because of their lack of any semblance of training is pretty tragic.
Reading the account I’m only surprised this doesn’t happen more often. One of the survivors said he thought the suspect had a BB gun. This is exactly the sort of response you get from people who step out of their Nerf World fantasies. These guys are not equipped to deal with violent situations. If they’re going to do this sort of thing they need proper training.
That includes real instruction in citizen’s arrest and the limits of the use of force. No matter how impressive their jackets are or how much they pat themselves on the back for “protecting the Jewish community” they are not cops. No oath. No badge. No legal status. No accountability.
If they start arrogating police status to themselves they will end up crippling or killing someone outside the regular self defense laws or they’ll end up in jail for kidnapping and unlawful detainment. Then the whole thing will come crashing down.
An unfriendly prosecutor could have sent all of them up for this incident. The accounts vary. Some say he was a known bad guy. Others say he was touching himself. Being scum is not against the law; if that’s all he was doing these guys absolutely deserved what they got. Weenie-wagging is illegal in public, but depending on what they did he could well make a case that he was in fear for his life when he was attacked by four men.
This is a dangerous legal area. Shomrim needs to be very careful about what it does and what it lets its members do.
It also has some really ugly potential. Turn it around. Suppose the RRNBPP – Really, REALLY New Black Panther Part- or the Sons of the Prophet or the Aryan Resistance started doing the same thing. Religion and race-based street patrols to defend Blacks or the Faithful or Covenant People Aryans from outsiders. It’s not just theoretically bad. This is how groups like the Gray Wolves and the SA got their start.
I can verify that in this particular case, it was in fact a flasher, they approached him and he pulled out a gun and began shooting.
Nuran,
The Shomrim and Shmirah do receive soem training, though they aren’t cops. I have friends that head both organizations in Crown Heights. They make a big difference, and the cops are glad to have their help. Yes, they are religious white Jews that spend most of their time chasing black thugs, but that is the reality of Crown Heights. In light of this story, it’s a miracle more of them aren’t shot on a regular basis.
We had a meeting with the borough mayor and police chief here in Montreal, they outright refused to hear anything of the sort, worrying that we would turn into a vigilante group and eventually would request to be armed.
It seems the US is more open to this sort of thing, I had a another friend that was a member of the Guardian Angels in Chicago.
Phil, I know they do good work. But having been a self defense and RKBA advocate for a long time and a bunch of other things I’m always nervous when things like this happen. If you’re going to go chasing criminals you can expect to be shot at some point, and that’s not what these guys signed up for. If your immediate reaction to a gun is reflexive denial you need to find a different hobby or get a LOT better training.
The ethnic aspects are just my native paranoia. It’s not so much who’s getting run off as organized groups of hitters divided along ethnic lines. The historical precedents are troubling.
wow so if the frum community does nothing to stop crime within their communities then their wussies but if they form a patrol then they are shlemiels? just cant win with jews.
hold it. am i the only one who thinks it’s cool when people stop sitting on their asses adn stand up for what they believe in? these shomrim believe in having a pleasant, crime-free neighborhood and they actually DO something about it and don’t shake theire heads and say rheotoric. training shmainging. they do more than you do about crime and stuff like that. when’s the last itme any one of you chased after a thief or called someone out on inappropriateness?
my guess? a LONG time.
Hey I agree 100%, they’re very brave. But they’re also inept and unprofessional. And having a thousand keys and “cheddies” and “sidens” on your car doesn’t really help the image either.
This.
This was funny! Maybe the Shomrim should invest in bullet proof vests though.
Bad idea.
If they wore them to give themselves a little extra time to get away it would make sense.
If they were wearing them for extra protection while they returned fire or went for cover and called their backup it would make sense.
This doesn’t. They’re unarmed or at least pathetically armed compared to someone with a gun. The whole point would be to extend a fight where they are at a lethal disadvantage. The best it would do would be to give them a false sense of security so they felt free to do more risky things.
i thought this was very funny, though critically failed to mention huge bunch of jangly keys that all shomrim r trained to carry- now if thats not training what is-
hesh clearly was not making fun of the fact they they were shot for which obviously every one obviously feels gutted about (no pun intended). look- yes they think they r hot stuff. no they r not hot stuff. yes, its a tremndous mitzvoh to give up your time and in case of the shomrom put your life at risk. im too selfish with my time to do it- so personally i think they should be applauded- does that mean we cant poke fun at them? absolutely not. poke away.
re the training issue- cops get a ton of training and still frequently get shot at and injured- thats just gonna happen when u r chasing evil scum- so dont know how much extra training would help- but these guys should def be wearing bullet proof vests- though that would not have helped most of these 4 wo were shot in neck and arm etc
The fact that you can find humor and actually want to poke fun at the situation shows how much you care about your fellow Jew.
I actually feel sorry for you on this one.
From the NY *spit* Post. I’m quoting because it would be tomorrow before the link passed moderation
COPS: JEW GUYS NEED TO TALK!
The NYPD is trying to settle a long-running dispute between two rival Orthodox Jewish patrol groups – and keep them from taking the law into their own hands – by uniting them into one police-supervised unit,
Good idea.
The plan would create a united, NYPD-trained patrol group the department would supervise and partially fund, a source said.
Even better
But Shomrim has refused because….
Shomrim spokesman Binyamin Lifshits says the group is concerned that the NYPD would monitor all emergency calls – including private matters like domestic disputes, which the Orthodox community wants to settle on its own.
They want to be able to enforce the law themselves or bring down the Big Blue Hammer on goyim. But they want the police to keep their tiny upturned Gentile noses out of crimes Shomrim doesn’t want investigated.
The police offered them a path to legitimacy and increased usefulness. They were more interested in being a bunch of loose cannons.
A. Nuran,
The circumstances that these individuals encountered obviously required more training than any yeshiva could provide. If they cared about the position (and the proper training needed) as much as they cared about being able to display their newest bluetooth apparatus, this would have not happened
Although, according to Halacha, there is an issue with involving gentiles to police events within the community. However, these so called “Shomerim” should learn how abide by the laws of the land (Dinah De Malchuta, Dinh) and be able to ensure the safety of the anshei shlomeinu
Unfortunately this was due to come.
they are a good and worthy group but running around trying to stop all crimes is a little reckless.