It has been said that Frum Satire drives people off the derech. How wrong this is ! Let me count the ways. Here are the Top ten ways FrumSatire makes me feel more frum,
10. The website ads drive me to frum sites. Especially the one with a girl and her open lips — which I love to click and discover the website of a shul! How frum is that!?
9. Time spent on Frum Satire means less time watching TV — and we all know that TV is total Bittul Torah.
8. The weekly d’var torah reminds me what the parsha is this week, it’s almost like being “maa’vir sedra” without having to fake through targum onkelos.
7. Commentors who call the guest authors douche-bags are doing the mitzvah of tochocha (rebuking).
6. The gematria of Frum Satire is 685, which is the same as the gematria of “Vayikra bishaym Hashem” (really, do the math).
5. Heshy inspires us to stay on the derech — after all, who else walks around Mountain View with a big kippah?
4. If you Google “Frum Porn” you’ll probably get this site, and therefore you won’t get hold of any of the real stuff. Nice job saving us from the hot Chanies.
3. Heshy makes apikorsum feel like we have a chance at our chelek in olam habah.
2. When I give tzedakah to Heshy, I actually feel good, unlike those times I give it to meshulachim so they never come back and disturb my dinner again.
and the #1 way that Frum Satire makes me feel more frum …
One day Heshy will finally meet his bashert through this site, and we will all be part of this great mitzvah.
So how, pray tell, does one spell Frum Satire in Hebrew?
Hint: try spelling it, then calculate the gematria. If you get 685 – Bingo. If not, then add or remove a Yud or a Vav where you were not sure.
Satire with a samech or sin? tet or taf? are there any ayyins or alephs in there?
Great post!
685 is also the gematria of “leftover cholent” and “overnight kugel” who would have thought?
Punchline of the old joke: The maskil takes out his calculator and says “Rabbi, the gematria does not work” — The Rebbe says, “Then have another piece!”
685 equals 613+the amount of times the internet has been officially assurred.
Also, TA, funny post. Love number 10! It’s the only s@x ad for a shul I’ve ever seen. Hopefully it’s the start of a new trend.
Thanks. She has the same lips as a realsex doll. Next time I visit San Francisco I’m debating — to visit this shul or the massage parlor right near the kosher grill in Chinatown. I think based on this ad — the shul. Oh I feel frum, thanks to Heshy.
Thinking that we should do a caption contest on the picture. My entry: “Wow, who was your mohel? I want to send him a Thank You card!”
I could imagine that someone might get the wrong impression of what “yiddishkeit” means.
Nonono. 685 = #times Internet has been assurred + #times Frum Satire has been assurred + 10 Commandments
sorry, Frum satire isnt worthy of being assured. Maybe one day
Thanks. She has the same lips as a realdoll. Next time I visit San Francisco I’m debating — to visit this shul or the massage place right near the kosher grill in Chinatown. I think based on this ad — the shul. Oh I feel frum, thanks to Heshy.
Thinking that we should do a caption contest on the picture. My entry: “Wow, who was your mohel? I want to send him a Thank You card!”
We are hoping to share in your simcha of number 1. Great post.
Frumsatire keeps me Frum because it reminds me that there are normal people out thee , even if they are hard to find in Brooklyn
try looking in places other than Brooklyn. you will find them in abundance.
even in Brooklyn – just not the classic hoods
Even the classic hoods. We just keep a low profile.
Absolutely looking forward to the Simcha of #1! 8)
great post
Honorable mention!
feeling more frum just reading this top ten list. amazing!
#4 and #1 are too hilarious. Hopefully #1 will happen soon though Hashem willing.
Nu, does anyone know any chicks in Cali for him?
Top ten ways FrumSatire makes me feel more Frum ….
Umm it doesnt
You and me both Heshy are going to find our basherts soon!
This is all Mamash bitul Torah