Tag: Rabbis
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5236Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5236
A brocha for a Ferrari
Shloyme Silberstein has has become rich and wants to show off... So he bought a Ferrari. But his wife insisted: "Shloyme, promise me you…
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5266Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5266
You’ll regret it anyway
A young man: - Rabbi, I don't know what to do. Should I marry my girlfriend or not? - It doesn't matter what you…
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5267Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5267
Some of the nicest people
A Jew came to his Rabbi to lodge a complaint against other members of the congregation. "Rabbi," he asked plaintively, "do you think it…
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5269Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5269
Not a profession for a Jew
Two Jewish fathers in the U.S. discuss the careers of their sons. "My son went to business school, and now he is the CEO…
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5270Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5270
Ten more like you
A Rabbi wants to leave his community. A delegation of the members tries to persuade him to stay. The Rabbi says to the delegation:…
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5273Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5273
The disputation
For the purpose of mass entertainment the Earl orders a public dispute between the Bishop and the Rabbi. Topic: Which one is the true…
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4380Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4380
The Japanese rabbi
When my congregation was shopping for a new rabbi, a Japanese applied for the job. The traditionalist members said "But it isn't traditional". The…
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4382Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4382
Rabbi Dashboard’s driving tip
Rabbi Dashboard says: "Leave 30 bagel lengths for every 10 miles per hour."
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4384Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4384
The rabbi’s confession
Someone overhears the rabbi saying to himself: "Oy ! Do I love Jesus !" The person is flabbergasted and confronts the rabbi: "Rabbi, YOU…
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4385Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4385
The clergymen’s confessions
Over the years in a small New England town the local Catholic priest, Protestant minister, and rabbi had become the best of friends. Every…
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4386Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4386
The Breslover’s aliyah
A Breslover chassid was bragging about his Rebbe to a Litvak. "On every single Shabbos we give the Rebbe an aliyah, and even though…
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4387Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4387
Below the waist
A husband was distraught when he caught his wife in bed with another man. In desperation, he sought advice from his rabbi, who counseled…
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4389Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4389
The buttered toast
A man was very unlucky. Everything he did went wrong, every business failed, his wife left him, his friends cheated him. You name it…
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4390Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4390
My rabbi performs miracles
Two delegates to a convention in Las Vegas were sitting in the lounge of the Excalibur Hotel, bragging about their rabbis. "My rabbi performs…
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4391Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4391
The Archbishop and the Chief Rabbi
At a dinner of the CCJ (Council of Christians and Jews) Archbishop Carey and Chief Rabbi Sachs presided. In opening his speech, Jonathan Sachs…
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4392Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4392
Three rabbis compare notes
The three rabbis in town, from the Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform shuls, met after Shabbes across America to discuss the results. The Reform Rabbi…
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4393Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4393
Almost an affair
Isaac Weiss, a married man, goes to the shul and tells the Rabbi, "I had an affair with a woman - almost." The Rabbi…
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4403Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4403
The rabbi and the Trids
There was a Rabbi who was shipwrecked on an island. He knew that there was no way he could get off so he decided…
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4406Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4406
The rabbi and the soap maker
A rabbi and a soap maker went for a walk together. The soap maker said, "What good is religion? Look at all the trouble…
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4407Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4407
The Shabbos shave
A Jew started to shave and sudenly remembered that it was Saturday! One cheek still covered with shaving cream, he ran to see the…
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4409Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4409
The long sermon
My rabbi, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just…
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4413Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4413
What the rabbi does during sermons
Q: What does the rabbi do during some sermons? A: Babylon
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4435Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4435
Three yeshiva students smoking on Shabbos
Three Jeschiva students are smoking in their room, on the sabbath. Another student sees this through the window, and he alerts the Rabbi. The…
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4436Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4436
A blessing for the insurance policy
"Rabbi," asks a curious young Jew at the schule, "is there a blessing you can say for my shop's new insurance policy?" "There sure…