Someone sent this to me – they found it on Shadchan-Shadchan, but I’ve seen it before and one of the commen ts backs me up on that.
NEW YORK – In an unusual display of unity, leaders of five Chasidic groups today issued a joint statement in support of proposed state legislation to allow same-sects marriages.
The groups represented were Belz, Pupa, Satmer, Bobov, and Lubavitch.
“Of course we want same-sects marriages,” said Rabbi Wurzma Shtreimel, head of the Belz movement. “A Belzer should marry only a Belzer. That makes perfect sense.”
The other rabbis agreed.
“If a Satmer weds a Bobover, woe to their offspring,” proclaimed Rabbi Praymita Gartel of Satmer. “What would their children be-Satovers?? That’s totally unheard of.”
The rabbis shared concerns about the dilution of their individual groups through intersect marriages.
“The Tanya warns us,” said Rabbi Mendy Pantz of Lubavitch. “If a Lubavitcher marries outside his sect, his children lose half their heritage.
His son is not Lubavitch, just Vitch. And his grandson becomes a son of a Vitch.” At a separate news conference, Chasidic women expressed similar concerns.
“It’s less confusing when our kind marry their own kind,” said Rebbetzin Donna Kittel, founder of a Pupa women’s group, The Mamas and the Pupas.
To prevent intersect marriages, Belz rebbetzin Gitta Kapotah announced the formation of a new community matchmaking service, Wedding Belz.
“We must protect our Belz,” she said. “They’re our family jewels.” Contacted by Mr. Richard Feder of Ft. Lee, N.J.,
Rebbetzin Emily Littella of Bobov asked: “What’s all this I hear about same-sox marriage?
HESHY, ARE YOU INSANE?? HOW CAN YOU POST ANYTHING BUT YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE TRAGEDY TODAY!?!?
IS IT A REGULAR DAY OR YOU? WHERE IS YOUR HEART?
Yeah. And the India terrorist attacks too!
Seriously though, you ought to lay off Frum Satire.
It shouldn’t grind to a halt every day that bad news happens.
But . . . once Frum Satire goes after Saw You at Sinai for
their connection to this story, THEN you can blast away.
Uh Oh – hope that doesn’t count as Loshon Horah against SYAS.
I’m guessing it doesn’t, because it’s not SYAS fault if one
previously unknown Psycho joins them. On the other hand,
if they have him in their success stories section, they better
take it down soon !
They shouldn’t have it in their success stories: they got divorced after a year.
Listen, I don’t go to this website to find another place to lament all the other sh*t I can read about on 1,000 other websites-you know, stories of terrorist attacks, our collapsing currency, impending social chaos, and angelic, guiltless chassidic boys getting dismembered by psychopaths embedded in the fabric of the Jewish community.
I read this website to put a smile on my face, so for JUST A FEW MINUTES EACH DAY, I can tune myself out of the sh’tty reality we are all confronting right now. Don’t blame Heshy for what he does or does not post. I think the most sympathetic and sensitive thing a person can do is give someone else a reason to smile, no matter how silly or stupid it is, when all he or she feels like doing is crying. If you want to stay depressed, you check the news. If you want to laugh at the sheer absurdity and madness of it all, you come to frumsatire.net. Period.
That being said, Baruch Dayan Ha’Emes on the unspeakable tragedies of the day. I think a little piece of every truly Jewish person died a little bit today upon hearing the news. Where is the justice in this world? Is this a bad dream?
Dude thuis post was pre-scheduled about a week ago – I had no idea anything happened today until 9pm pacific time when I returned from work so give me some fucking benefit of the doubt you schmuck.
+1
Please. He is only doing what Jon Stewart did when The Daily Show decided to still air humorous stuff even after 9/11, when many people didn’t feel like laughing.
But I concede: Heshy, I do look forward to seeing your thoughts on this tragedy. And my the powers that be avenge the blood of this innocent child; may this man receive justice both in this world and the next!
Pray for Leiby Kletzy’s family.
I had no idea until 9pmn pacific standard time – unlike most people I have a full time job that doesn’t force me to sit on my ass all day checking the news and I don;t have a smart phone and after leaving work at 4pm I went mountain biking.
Addressing this topic seriously…
Ashkenazim are already dangerously inbred. When genetic tests are routinely recommended to avoid reinforcing lethal recessives God or Nature is trying to tell you something. The trend to marriage within sects makes the problem worse. A few more generations of this, and we will be like the Amish where they almost all look like clones of each other and pay a very high price in genetic birth defects.