I love when guests come to shul in northern California because I get to observe them on my home turf, it’s like having tropical animals lost in the north pole, especially if they happen to wind up in San Jose. For multiple reasons, most folks visiting the Bay Area wind up in Palo Alto for shabbos, this may have to do with better marketing and a larger community. Palo Alto is more mainstream so I’m sure people aren’t as shocked to enter that shul as they are ours. I observe from afar and home to catch something interesting that I may write about.
I saw this young couple on Friday night and the dude looked familiar, I noticed that him and his wife both gave me the look – there’s this quick look of “holy shit is that frum satire recognition” that many folks who aren’t sure exactly what I look like give me around these parts. They didn’t come up to me so I dropped it, I kind of wanted to know the lowdown and engage in some classic black velvet yarmulke and sheitle couple Jewish geography, but I refrained, there were other frummies in town who were a bit more social so I focused my attentions on judging them.
The couple was the classic newlywed Queens couple, the guy looked like he was the type who got a hat for his bar mitzvah and never wore it since, the girl looked like the type who went to bais yaakov but didn’t consider herself typical, of course I wanted to talk to them, these were my people – not my people, but I mean the people I relish in observing and figuring out everything about them and then testing to see if I was right.
I was wrong…the male portion of the couple sat next to me at shalashudos and told me that he heard I was living out here and he had called a friends brother to see where I was, he and his wife decided that they wouldn’t say anything to me in hopes that I would write about them. Unfortunately I am over writing about random people, unless they happen to do something really whack or be really interesting, this was just a normal couple from Queens, except they live in Philly, neither lives in Queens and when the dude was in yesdhiva he went by the name Scott, possibly the first dude I have ever met named Scott who wears a black velvet yarmulke, though he wore a bobby pin which detracted from his frum level.
Don’t worry, Philly is notoriously difficult to nail down. If I’m totally stumped, I guess Philly or Miami.
philly has a large but scattered community
That’s the price you pay when you live in California
ps- if any of you guys HAVE a black hat you haven’t worn since bar mitzvah…I kind of need one. Is there a gemach for those things, or anyone who wants to donate?
Does anyone have a never-worn-since -bar-mitzvah black hat I can have? Are there gemachs for those things?
Like the wedding dress gemach? That a pretty good idea, actually.
We have a ton of them on top of our bookcase at home that I’m sure my mother would LOVE to get rid of. Question is why in the world do you want a black hat?
(1) acting purposes. There are many times in the coming year when I’m goingto have to act out a frum guy, and I want to show up in full regalia! I have the shirt and blazer, and will pencil in the guybrows and facial hair, this is the only part I don’t have
(2) I have a big head for a girl, and when you add my thick curls to the mix, female hats usually don’t fit on my head without making me look stupid
(3) my crowns and cowgirl hat ARE old hats. Everyone is used to them by now; I need to shake things up
(4) boys clothes ROCK! In general
Next time you go to NYC, or have a friend going to NYC, I’ll be happy to take them off your mother’s hands and help her declutter.
1. You continue to amaze me.
3. Pun intended?
4. Crossdressing FTW!
I will try and remember, I’ll just walk around Brooklyn screaming out Lirehagi, and hopefully someone will take the hats.
You never met anyone who enjoyed acting? It was intended a little bit, and I’ve never tried at hand at actual crossdressing, but I try to make guy clothes a part of my wardrobe.
No, you’ll never find me that way!We meet somewhere public, I bring some of my blackbelt friends along (in case you’re a psycho), I take the hats off your hands, you carry on with your errand that brought you to Brooklyn Ir Hakodesh. Really simple
No, it’s the enthusiasm and attention to detail 😛 I happen to also love acting, helped make and acted in 2 purim shpiels that thousands of people saw. One of my fave things.
Hey, if you want to wear pants that bad, go ahead! 🙂
You’re right. I have no idea how to pronounce “Lirehagi”! I more meant I have no idea how to reach you in the first place. You’re kind of anonymous-ish.
Also, Brooklyn Ir Hakadosh, even as a joke, makes me sick. 😀
When something actually catches my attn, I do become very enthusiastic and attentive to detail 🙂 I took acting for 2 years and usually get recruited to act in school skits.
As for pants? I could write a guest post on pants in terms of frum-inity! Bottom line- to be accepted as a member of a society, you have to wear the uniform. For frum society, that means skirts for females. Those pantwearing MO folk are dwindling in numbers. I believe that this isn’t a tznius issue per se; girls always try to look sexy in whatever clothes they wear, across all societies and uniforms. I have no moral opposition to pants; it’s just not practical to always explain and brings too many consequences
on how to find me-
(1) comment on this post a week before you come here
(2) I will contact you, don’t worry
you’re right, this place is sicker than a goldfish doing the backfloat. Manhattan works better for me anyways. I’m not an original BKer, and I intend to leave this dying cesspool ASAP.
I’m gonna stay away from commenting on the pants thing. It’s better that way.
1. I don’t plan that far in advance for these things!
2. Stranger Danger! 😉
EVERYBODY says that, although to be honest you do seem too normal for BK.
(1) now that I’ve got the karate queens to escort me? A 36-hour notice should be fine
(2) ooh yeah, I’m totally dangerous 😛
i’m not lying- I moved here in my youth, I’m really not from here. Natives ask me where I’m from since I don’t have a frummie accent. I’m collecting data on good places to move
away to.
Btw- I could immediately tell you didn’t live in BK or like it
We have an entire collection sitting on top of our bookcase at home. I’m sure my mother would LOVE to donate them. Question is, what the heck do you need a black hat for?
Not letting me friggin comment!!! But let’s keep trying:
1. Homosexual Karate Queens or Queen of England Karate Queens. Inquiring minds need to know.
2. You seem it. Lirehagi sounds sfardi. Sfardi sounds dark. Dark is scary to frummie kids, if you catch my drift (bc they’re racist).
Yeah, I’m as out of town as it gets. I recently moved to Central JErsey, which is the big city for me.
Btw, Don’t you love having random conversations that strangers get as email notifications? I wonder what the Over/Under is on how long until Heshy bans our IP addresses?
(1) queen of england types. Straight female friend of mine who all took karate, so I had to nickname them.
(2) I’m Ashkenazi with sphardic customs- those tzionistic greatgrandparents who eloped to Palestine eventually moved to a surrounding country. So while I have no sphardi blood, those 2 elderly Ashkenazim at the sphardi shul are my grandparents. Some kid asked me if I was a vampire because in her mind I was too pale, LOL!
Don’t remind me (groan). When I went to PS every frumy I knew was all “but aren’t you scared? What do you mean of what, the shvartzes!” and on the monsey bus “aren’t they stupid?” (I gave her a condensed list of some of my friends’ talents and kind traits.
Shut her up, they were clearly far more skilled and kind than she
was)
I’m hoping he’s waiting until you come to NYC and we meet, realize we’re not serial killers, and then feel other modes of communication are safe. Hey, we aren’t spambots or linkaholics
Classic frum couple….he is probably gonna be in kollel for a couple years and then go into education
these are my friends.
I know that guy, and he plays the exact same observe the frummies game. Its not shocking that he was able to throw off even the most experienced eye, since he analyzes every tiny nuance and stereotypes like airport security. The best part is hes a BT.
He’s not even from Philly–he’s from a small suburb with a tiny shul
this post was useless. love u but omg the point was….?
Ha my uncle isnt religious anymore and he gave his black hat to my father…my father is planning on giving it to my uncle’s son when he’s bar mitzva. He thinks its ironic. I think its pathetic.
With a name like scott he was probably a BT
Lirehagi (sorry it isn’t letting me post up there)-
1. Homosexual Karate Queens or Queen of England Karate Queens. Inquiring minds need to know.
2. You seem it. Lirehagi sounds sfardi. Sfardi sounds dark. Dark is scary to frummie kids, if you catch my drift (bc they’re racist).
Yeah, I’m as out of town as it gets. I recently moved to Central JErsey, which is the big city for me.
Btw, Don’t you love having random conversations that strangers get as email notifications? I wonder what the Over/Under is on how long until Heshy bans our IP addresses?
Is that Yitzchak Feldman’s shul in Palo Alto?