Being in shul so much over the past week or so, I noticed something really strange that I’ve never noticed before — and I’d like to call it the “importance paradox.”
It seems that some of the most important prayers — in terms of expressing fundamental, core beliefs of the religion — exist at the very beginning or at the very end of the prayer services and the importance of the text is inversely proportional to the age of the individual leading the services the bimah. Children, and sometimes very little ones, lead the congregation and I find that this tends to undermine the importance of these prayers and certainly the seriousness of the synagogue atmosphere. In fact, many people associate such prayers as yigdal, ain kei’lokeinu and aleinu with their respective synagogue’s annoyingly off-tune 6-year-old rather than with spiritual inspiration and an emotional relationship with God. Then again, many others don’t associate these prayers with anything, because they don’t realize that there even is an annoying 6-year-old singing them — they’re too busy engaged in conversation because, hey, we must be up to the unimportant part of davening if some kid is leading the services (but they only know that the kid is singing because they heard him last week when their talking buddy was at his son-in-law for Shabbos).
As a child, I remember being in the ain kei’lokeinu rotation, and it certainly made me feel more integrated, more involved, more relevant to the synagogue service. That’s always a problem with ritualistic practice — involving children so they feel important but limiting their involvement as the ritual demands; and with all the barriers afforded by Judaism: the foreign language, the metaphysical concepts, the age/gender restrictions and the demand that particular things be done in such an exacting fashion that perhaps children cannot be entrusted with the responsibility to perform them, there’s certainly a general push to permit promote the involvement of children wherever and whenever possible.
The same is true for gelilah — the ceremonial wrapping up of the Torah after the weekly portion has been read in the synagogue. I sense a more immature, jovial attitude sets in when some people are called up for gelilah, because they think they’re being asked to perform child’s play — Be serious for this? Come on…my nephew does this all time and he’s 8 years old, so it can’t be that important. It is for this reason that I refuse to call a child for gelilah when I’m serving as the gabbai. But should we ban children from singing ein kei’lokeinu? I don’t think that’s the answer — it would be like halting all the semi-rituals with metaphysical underpinnings because too many people have become immune to the deeper meaning, like putting one’s right show on first.
So get a hold of an English translation of prayers like yigdal and aleinu and see what we’re really saying about our God and our religion. If one asserts his or her commitment to Judaism, he or she should realize what it’s all about — and it’s really hard to think about it amid the great disturbance that is all too common in the synagogue when the 6-year-old takes centerstage. And perhaps letting him do so is a necessary evil, but engaging Judaism with meaningful prayers is necessary, too.
I happen to be a huge fan of letting kids do anything in shul, it will allow them to have a connection to shul at a very young age. My shul growing up was very strict – if you weren’t 13 you couldn’t do anything (gelilah, any kind of chazan, even getting an aliyah on simchas torah, etc). I had to sit next to my father and couldn’t leave even during the rabbi’s 30 minute speech. I lost interest in shul at a very early age because it was just this boring waste of time for me.
I now have an 8 year old son and at my shul where I live now he got an aliyah on simchas torah and he was beaming from happiness that he got to wear my talis and get an aliyah. They even let kids get psukim from “ata hareisa”. My shul has a teenager minyan on shabbos where teens get be chazan and lain. This allows kids to form a connection to shul at the young age when they are forming their lifelong habits, and even though I don’t go to shul much I would still prefer that my son has a good connection to shul and would want to go when he grows up.
My point was that it’s not without sacrificing something — and that something often comes in the form of a general lack of interest in these prayers. If 15% of the congregation chats during chazaras hashatz, 20% chat during ein kei’lokeinu.
I completely disagree with you. It think children participating in any kind of spiritual worship or religious culture is important. Not just for the child, but for all the partcipants. You need to change your attitude, try humility- then you will not be so caught up in what you are not getting out of it, but you can find meaning and a deep spiritual connection. It is your responsibility to make sure your prayers are meaningful and that you have an emotional relationship with God, regardless of what is going on around you. Besides -children are a very powerful instrument for God to work through,and he does more often than not. ie; David, Samuel, King Josiah- you just need to have the humility to try things God’s way, not what you think is right all the time.
You either didn’t read what I wrote or you don’t understand the definition of the word completely. A “necessary evil” is necessary, and so we agree. And we agree that each person has the responsibility to make sure that his or her prayers are meaningful, regardless of what is going on around oneself — my point was that I sense that others do not do this and, on the contrary, do not take these parts of davening seriously. And so this doesn’t really have anything to do with humility — perhaps you should look that one up, too.
So we may not agree — and that’s fine — but I’d say that from looking at what I wrote and looking at what you wrote, we are hardly in complete disagreement.
I am also a fan of children being involved in the service because, well, let’s face it, if they’re involved as kids, they’re a heckuva lot more likely to be involved as grown-ups. In our shul, boys between the ages of 9 and bar mitzvah usually lead Ain kEi’lokeinu and Anim Zmiros, and then all the children in the congregation (sometimes bigger kids will even carry babies) come up for Adon Olam and Kiddush, and then after the wine, they get candy or some other kind of treat. The kids really look forward to this, and it keeps them interested. I’ve never noticed people talking more when the kids are leading. If anything, I pay closer attention and follow better when the kids are leading–they tend to enunciate more. They never let 6-yr-olds lead (except as part of the Adon Olam group)–I’m assuming that was hyperbole on your part.
The one place where I absolutely agree with you 100% is that children should not be given aliyos. I’ve honestly never even HEARD if that! It’s hard for me to even imagine it! A little kid being called up to dress the Torah??? Seriously??? I really would have thought that goes against halakha. Now doing it in a separate children’s service (which our shul also has but it’s over in time for Ain kEi’lokeinu), is another story. I’m fine with that. But as part of the ACTUAL service??? I know my rabbi has never done that, and would never do that, and I agree with him.
Being called up to wind and wrap the Torah is not an aliyah, and no one following the Shulchan Aruch would call a Jewish minor to the Torah except for on Simchas Torah. But some shul’s favor calling under-age children for gelilah because it gets them involved.
I agree with ccmsm that youth need to be involved. I love the idea of teen minyanim. I grew up yeshivish and such a thing was unheard of, but going to MO shuls today and seeing the kids in the teen minyanim davening and actually enjoying shul is shocking and wonderful.
That said, those tefillos need to be seen as important too. But I don’t know how it’s different than Chumash. We teach the same material to kids and many of them grow up with a 7 yr old’s view of Bereishis for life, but thinking adults reexamine the material for themselves.
Personally, I recently started paying attention to Anim Zemiros, and it’s one of the deepest, most moving, kabbalistic prayers in the siddur.
Right on! Anim Zemiros is SO profound that many synagogues do not say it because it was felt that people would read it as heresy, missing out on the metaphor (now where’ve I heard that before? 🙂
And for a nice discussion on the idea of adults needing to re-evaluate their perspective, see R’ David Aaron’s Seeing God.
I thought you aren’t frum anymore, hence your name?? Or maybe since you grew up yeshivish, you’re poking fun at your own MO-ness because in the eyes of a real frummie, you are an apikores?