Unseasonable Cold in Crown Heights
by Chaya Miriam Jurado
An early cold snap was the big topic of conversation for out-of-towners during Tishrei in Crown Heights, leading others to believe that perhaps the most elevated spot in all of Brooklyn is not ready for Moshiach after all.
One such visitor commented in French, “It’s so freezing, I can’t feel my knees and elbows,” while her cohort added, “I was very close to practicing tznius this morning.” Other visitors additionally complained about cold hard stares received in 770.
Most natives haven’t noticed any change in weather, and doubters weighed in with their own theories. “It’s distracting! If they’re so darn cold, why don’t they put some clothes on?” asked one woman who wished to remain anonymous. “Not to mention that it’s much colder up in higher atmospheres, what with those ultra-high platform heels and all.”
Indeed, the wardrobe seemed to reflect an imbalance of priorities with foreigners seen in fur jackets, open-toed shoes and miniskirts at the same time. As one bochur put it, “I’ve never seen such shoes and dress outside of a strip club. I mean, so I’ve heard.” When asked for his opinion, another man exiting the kollel replied, “Look, I’m just trying to keep my head in my Chitas studies and…SQUIRREL!”
sadly true! Kingston Beach is (slowly) closing down for the winter.
Wish you had pictures to post with this one…
I also wish, but the author didn’t send any centerfold shots of her posing at the dreidle by the children’s museum
Bwahahaha
hey the only people who look better with more layers on
And the deeper into those neighborhoods you go, the less likely you are to notice the temperature change, based on the clothes. It’s not like you see the turning of the “winter sheitles”! And those streimels are on, all year long!
Yeah, I was there around succos in the wee hours of the morning and I was FREEZING in 4 layers. The rest of the people, in 1 or 2 layers, just continued on their merry parade
That’s because they were drinking heavily. Drinking makes you warmer. Funky hats? Not so much.
Eh, next year you’ll bring some booze and we’ll sip it out of brown bags and wear funky hats 🙂
So much yes. And no metallic beers 🙂
There are no Tznius problems in Montana!
Well if you hold that tznius is subject to societal norms then in Montana it might not be tznius to see a girl take off her gloves…
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The temperature only drops if as a ger or BT you try to date them.
I like the cold. It brings out the colorful stockings. The colorful stockings always make me warm inside.
That quote about it being colder in higher altitudes does not apply here, for that requires extreme height- like on top of a mountain. However, hot air rises so the heels are actually of use. Not enough that girls can say “I am cold, so I will wear heels” but enough that I can disprove her theory. B”H I do not have to wear heels as I am taller than everyone without them.