I don’t know about you, but while I am clopping numerous Al Chaits all I can think about is how I am going to be able to clop the chest of that hottie across the mechitza and it’s so God and his co-conspirator the yetzer harah to put the craziest thoughts of the past years inducing sexual experiences into my head during musaf – I can imagine God and his henchman laughing at all the boners going on during musaf.
I’d love to open up your gates during neilah
Need some help with those chest clops?
You need not worry, the halacha is only against marital relations
How about some saliva swapping to make the fast day go by quicker
Wow, your crocs are so sexy
Don’t worry, I have some synthetic non-leather whips we can use
Noticed you during yizkor – your moms dead too?
You don’t have to swallow if you’re fasting
Every time I look at you, I need to say another al chait
Hungry? I’ll give you something to eat
Do you always look this good, or are you fasting?
Why don’t you meet me under talis during duchening
Everything we do during the Rabbis sermon will be forgiven during musaf
Don’t worry about your breath, we can skip the four play
Find more yom kippur comedy on 4torah.com
God and his henchman laughing at all the boners going on during musaf.
Lol!
your mom’s dead too? +1
(I think I remember the chest klopping from last year.)
it’s been talked about dozens of time – just like dipping my apples in your honey or getting some tekiah gedola action
Wow. I normally hate these types of articles, even from you Hesh, but that was hilarious. Also, I’ll let you blow my shofar at neilah.
We usually just tip him fifty bucks. But they say the Jews do know how to take care of the help.
“they blow the chauffer every year”…..
“Don’t worry, I have some synthetic non-leather whips we can use.” That seems like something that will take a little longer than just the duration of musaf…
God and his henchman laughing at all the boners going on during musaf.
Lol!
I have a feeling you know exactly what I’m talking about – there’s nothing funny about trying to tuck it in before you get the aleinu portion – how would that look if you rose from the floor during musaf with a raging boner.
I’ve got a great one!
“I’d like to ask the Caesar to flay your face and stuff it for me.”
Wow! You can find anyting on 4torah.
actually it;s a super interesting site to search for dirty stuff on – kind of like the “I’m feeling lucky” button on google search
Yes, I tried searching for “sx” to see what it came up with. I got some website talking about what sx is permitted- and it wasn’t even accurate.
It implied anl sx is not permitted, when the gemara is quite explicit that it is.
“Hungry? I’ll give you something to eat”
As long as it’s less than a koseves.
“Do you always look this good, or are you fasting?”
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I thought men don’t mind a few extra pounds, as long as she is not a water buffalo.