Thanks to Rachmuna Litzlon (the OTDer Rebbe) we can now create legitimate chumras and bans to our hearts desire. I’ve always wanted to ban vegetarian cholent, children singing anim zemiros,and Asian women from driving. Now I can do that and so can you. Now that I think about it, I can finally put myself in cherem and make it look for real, cherem would probably be great for my advertising clicks and then some folks will finally take me serious.
Quad seat stroller trains on the sidewalk. In Brooklyn. In the snow.
Unless you had all these babies at once, please teach some of your kinder to walk. Thank you.
http://cdn1.cdnme.se/cdn/7-2/1690705/images/2010/quad20open202_80386697.jpg
You hit it right on the head, sister. That and double-wides, with a sense of entitlement to go with it.
Last year I flew into NY the day after the hurricane. THEN it snowed. I was shoved off the footpath into slushy rubbish bags so many times by the double-wide, four seater prams loaded down with children and groceries.
Space ’em out, people!
/rant
Look, I found an eight-seater stroller!
http://static.bootic.com/_pictures/573088/400×400/runabout-4-x-8-seater-stroller.jpg
I would like to ban saying barchu after davening is over. I would also like to ban neon flashy Hatzolah vests.
Maybe we could get some Bein Adam LeChavero Chumrot.
Can we get rid of Ovadia Yosef?
I know this site is for poking a little fun- but at least have a little bit of Kovod for one of the gedolei hador- don’t say somethimg you are going to regret in the oilom hoemes
I would ban chumrot.
Heshy, you’re not in Cherem yet!?
To answer the question… I would decree that meat that came from an animal that was not humanely treated is not kosher.
I ban all yeshiva buchrim from bending their brims up, and I ban all men from wearing expensive Italian clothing for anything other than shabbos and yuntiff.
I have 8 lovely, fairly well-behaved, bright kids, well spaced, and if there was an 8 kid stroller, I’d totally put them there. Even if they found it embarrassing.
Why don’t you try shopping with 8 kids and making sure the 6 year old isn’t picking a fight with a 12 year old twins while the 3 year old runs into the street and the baby is crying and the 8 year old complains his feet are hurting and the 14 and 17 year olds decide to run off on their own without a cell phone. Then complain about quad or double strollers.
You know what, make that my blessing to Heshy and The Mrs. May you have many chances to enjoy shopping with multiple wonderful young children. And look back at this post and laugh at your opinion of people who use double strollers. 🙂
Why don’t you be an example and teach your kids, how ever many you have, to be considerate of others.
Jews buying Mercedes and BMWs as well as other German and European made products. Why support a group who burned and gassed your relatives?
All European made products? How bloody stupid are you?
You mean we shouldn’t shop at Chanel that is owned by a Jewish family? How about kosher wines from France and Italy?
And Mercedes-Benz? It’s apparently okay in Israel, but I’m sure you’re on a higher “madreiga” like the Borough Park assholes who buy Mitsubishi, the makers of the planes that bombed Pearl Harbor.
By the way, contrary to what you read on YWN, Benz did not make any equipment used in the concentration camps.
Well Holmes, you are obviously complete ignorant, and is most like a self-loathing Jew. I am sure you would also be whistling and humming Wagner if you had the opportunity; you obviously have kept your head in the sand way too long. I am sure you would hire the Pollacks off the corner of 65th Street who would rob you blind if they had the chance. And then you complain of anti-Semitism when you visit the kevarim of these tzadikim. If you would know anything related to history of the Jews and the Holocaust you would know that Mercedes and Volkswagen were enginnered by Hitler and used yous people as the mechanism to build the inverted gas pipes to kill the Jews. You probably also didn’t believe in the Jedwabne barn burning in Poland where they placed an umpteenth amount of Jews in there and burned them alive.
I am sure you will go on in life thinking that life is a cake walk for you and you don’t have to worry until you are suckerpunched in the back of your head by sommeone else.
Ah, the effects of a Chareidi fourth grade education rear its ugly head once again.
Mercedes? VW? Yes, they are German cars. D’oh, Homer. (Let’s stick with MB, the subject of your original rant.) The ovens in the concentration camps were made by a company called Topf. Even a cursory look at Wikipedia would have revealed this.
But yes, Mercedes did make vehicles used by the Germans, something they admit to with shame on their corporate website. I decline to be more severe than the Israelis who buy plenty of their cars.
I must admit to always enjoying watching a Chareidi moron buy Bayer aspirin, a company having the absolutely worst connection with the Holocaust. This, usually, as they load their groceries into their mammoth Ford SUVs since Henry Ford was such a friend of the Jews.
Regarding your racist rant against Polish people (Heshy, are you allowing racist words here?), how can we avoid hiring immigrants when Chareidim refuse to do any work at all?
I’ll be at the 7-11 on 65th with my amigos as I watch the Chareidim hit on gentile women. A real Kiddush Hashem!
You took it so literally. We are talking about European brands not owned by Jews you stupid fool.
And to add, not all German cars are from the Nazi era.
Absolutely correct.
People are not taking advantage of this post. I would like to create a chumrah that every mitzvah you do must be undone because of safek and fear of brachot levatalah. Did you buy strawberries for your daughters wedding? You must put them out but refuse to eat them. In fact, that goes for all food. How can you really know? How can you be sure? We should stop saying brachot with Shem hashem just like the in the girls siddur from R OYosef. You might think its important but actually it is far too dangerous. Also men should not leave the house. They might see something, like a woman or even a female duck. Yes, you should daaven w a minyan, yes you should learn with a chevrusa, but its far too dangerous. Men can learn at home, this is why Hashem gave us the Internet. Minyanim will happen again when Moshiach comes and it is safe for men to go outside their homes. Also, I think women should begin lighting shabbos candles before zman keriat shema on Thursdays. Just to be safe.
There were eight children in my family. We did not need strollers for more than one at a time. We walked. We were well-behaved. Then again, we were trained not to run off and had fear of a public potching.
I am not here to shame anyone for how they raise their children. However, when I am pushed off the footpath into the slush or rubbish in the gutter by someone with a quad, double-wide stroller, I consider that rude behaviour. It is also teaching the children that it is okay to behave in like manner.
We should make 3 day Yomtovim because I just checked September’s calender and there are few days still open..
I would like to ban 2 day yom tovim, especially when they coincide with Shabbat and end up being 3 days. I mean, seriously, in a town like this one with no eruv and being far from shul, they are the biggest nightmare in the world. JG, I think you’re right; there may still be 5 entire days in September when we can actually buy food to eat on all those other days and earn enough parnassah to pay for all the stuff it takes to be frum. I think Sukkot and Pesach are starting to compete now for the chag most likely to send you into overdraft.
I agree. It is tough to get time off work plus not be able to shop or have time to cram in cooking for yom tovim AND Shabbat – a year ago was really tough with most yom tovim and Shabbat coming in at the same time. So much to do, not enough time.
However, I did well for Pesach this past year – I threw my toaster away and hired a cleaner. Helped heaps – but also broke the budget. Ate a lot of fruit and soup.
And also because we are no longer “in doubt”. We can figure out when Yamim Tovim are for the next 100,000 years.
I like to think that we’ve stuck with 2 days of Yom Tov all these years as a secret reminder that we don’t belong in exile…. though that doesn’t really explain Rosh Hashana.
Here’s why I love 2 and 3 day Yom Tovim:
It celebrates the fact that it took us a while to go from observational to computational calenders while those crazy Chinese and Hindus had already done so.
It celebrates the fact that while those dumb goyim figured out that a one day holiday is just about right we can show our dedication by eating cholent for 3 days straight.
It celebtates the fact that while the Isrealis, even the Neturei Kartei, can have one Pessach Seder we can show how dramatic it is to repeat the same thing again, asking why is this night different from all other nights, two nights in a row.
It celebtates the fact that we Chutz LArtetz Jews don’t have to worry where we’ll go for vacation this year.
I’d ban Crocs. Seriously, I’ve seen a huge proportion of my frum friends and acquaintances wearing these hideous hole-filled shoes, and almost no one else in this community. I’ve been wondering if there’s some sort of correlation.
I love what you guys are up too. This kind of clever work and exposure!
Keep up the wonderful works guys I’ve included you guys to my own blogroll.
I would ban Crocs.