I wish I lived in a place that had signs like this, I’m not sure you can find anything like this on the west coast.
Hat tip Josh B.
I wish I lived in a place that had signs like this, I’m not sure you can find anything like this on the west coast.
Hat tip Josh B.
So, if I am in my kitchen, wearing a short skirt whilst cutting up a chicken, I am more apt to have a knife-related accident, necessitating an immediate emergency call to Hatzolah?
I will remember that the next time I am wielding a knife.
lol we are getting dumber.
Ha ha, really funny satire.
For a minute I thought that this was a real photo of a real sign, but than I realized that no-one would be gullible enough to take a sign like this seriously, and this is a satire blog which makes fun of silly statements by satire and exaggeration.
Phew – for a moment I thought that there were really people who believed that there was a correlation between a “tznius Asifa” (whatever that is) and the number of calls made to Hatzoloh.
Dude I think it is real…
Nah – can’t be real.
I’ve been Jewish my whole life and spent several years in Yeshiva, and I’m pretty sure that there’s nothing Jewish about what’s written in the sign.
If a sign like this was real – what would be next? Segregated buses? An Internet Asifa (broadcast on the Internet)? Spitting at little girls on their way to school? – Jews would never do crazy stuff like that.
Great satire though
lmao
The sign was photo shopped, it was a sign applauding the efforts of frum Jews to stop supporting stores that bought clothing from sweat shops.
The last couple of lines are scary. It’s one thing to encourage women not to buy short skirts. It’s another to suggest that a store selling them should be “stopped.”
I wonder what the “extremely short” regulations are, if it doesn’t go to mid calf it may be considered as such.
Soon it will be anything non-burka at the rate we and our noses are going.
As a hatzoloh member, I certainly hope people dont “stop” this store from selling short skirts. How will I get out of shul on shabbos if people stop calling hatzoloh? 🙂
Will stopping the store result in more calls to hatzola?
Do black men only date blond women?
If a woman wishes to go into labour before Shabbat comes in, I suggest she wears a skirt that flashes a bit of ankle and a lovely blouse that reveals her oh-so-naughty collar bone – that should get Hatzola’s motor running!
I got a tzedaka solicitation in the mail like this about 2 years ago that said if you donate to this yeshiva then lives will be saved and there will be fewer car accidents. I was going to post it on this blog but a few days later there was a terrible accident on I84 at the Connecticut border where a few bochrim from the Waterbury yeshiva were killed. I couldn’t bring myself to post.
What they don’t tell you is that there were no calls to Hatzolah because all of the people who would ordinarily have gotten sick were instead dead. Calls to the morgue were up 120% on those days.
Ouch.
Anyone stop to think for a second that there actually MIGHT be a correlation between the two? Is it too impossible to believe in it? Ya know… some things ARE true and possible.
Next you are going to say wearing magic strings on your clothes keeps you from looking at women, talking donkeys exist, Noah’s ark was possible and the world is 6000 y.o .
Ma inyan shmitta eitzel har sinai??
Ma inyan shmitta eitzel har sinai??
Ma bla bla bla bla beard?
I guess you’ve had bad experiences with people who are much more intelligent than you and you can’t understand a word that they’re saying. (I always felt bad for the low-IQ community)
Especially when they are typing in another language using Enlgish letters.
Hard time transliterating?
I pretty sure you said burn a non virgin cohen’s daughter?
No he said there was a plague of frogs.
How could frogs ever be a plague?
I know right? I always was like wtf when I was a kid
No I think it was commit genocide in the name of G-d against Amalek and Caananites our cousins
Im very happy that you only believe in things that you’ve actually seen yourself. I mean…. nothing POSSIBLY could have happened in the last 5700-some years that hasn’t happened to in the last 30 or so (or however old you are)….Right?
Dinosaurs = believable. Fossil record
Talking donkeys and snake = unbelievable. Unless you believe in fairy tales and dragons too
You seem like a Segulah guy
How about archaeologists found a 3000 year old papyrus scroll detailing an Egyptians account of plagues randomly hitting the city? I’m guessing you never saw that…
To For Real, read your sad attempt to prove plague of frogs: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ipuwer_papyrus
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Evidence_for_the_Exodus
Actually when I look at women I tuck my tzitzis in and it’s such a pain to do that I tend not to look at women.
Especially when you have that one string from the back of the tzitzis that somehow ended up in the front and you cant figure out what the heck is going on…
A century of research by archaeologists and Egyptologists has found no evidence which can be directly related to the Exodus captivity and the escape and travels through the wilderness,[3] and most archaeologists have abandoned the archaeological investigation of Moses and the Exodus as “a fruitless pursuit”.[4] A number of theories have been put forward to account for the origins of the Israelites, and despite differing details they agree on Israel’s Canaanite origins.[24] The culture of the earliest Israelite settlements is Canaanite, their cult-objects are those of the Canaanite god El, the pottery remains in the local Canaanite tradition, and the alphabet used is early Canaanite, and almost the sole marker distinguishing the “Israelite” villages from Canaanite sites is an absence of pig bones, although whether even this is an ethnic marker or is due to other factors remains a matter of dispute.[25] There is archeological evidence of the Caananite Hyksos people moving into and out of northern Egypt, though the relation of their dates to the biblical account is debated by scholars.
I will take my mesorah any day over your liberal scientists….so there !(plbbhhhh! (as calvin would say))
I will take my mesorah any day over your liberal scientists….so there !(plbbhhhh! (as calvin would say))
What mesorah? So much was lost with Joshua according to Midrash and then all you have to do is look at the Talmud to see that they didn’t know what the f they were talking about no?
If it is to be believed that Avraham Avinu was a big baal chesed who spread the word of Hashem throughout the Cannanite area through kiruv activities, is it no wonder that the Cannanites had similar ethical laws and practices to those dictated in the Torah?
Surely this is just proof of how great Avraham was in spreading Torah values before the Torah was officially given n Mt Sinai.
Rather than disprove our mesorah, the Caananite culture proves all the midrashim of Avraham’s chesed and kiruv activities.
Too bad the Torah and its commandments were not given yet. But interesting idea
Avraham Avinu knew all of Torah. Even if this doesnt mean literal word for word, it means he knew how to act what it meant to be ethical and this was passed on to those around him before the Torah was given. So why is this too bad?
I think it makes sense. it doesnt prove anything but it puts the classic “bible scholar” arguments that are being banded around here by amateurs who think they are academic into perspective.
Its interesting but doesn’t change the fact that there is NO evidence of an Exodus or Jewish presence in Egypt. Its likely an orgin myth like ALL cultures have to explain where they have been and over time it mutated into the story (albite so believable and realistic) that we have now.
> If it is to be believed that Avraham Avinu was a big baal chesed who spread the word of Hashem throughout the Cannanite area through kiruv activities, is it no wonder that the Cannanites had similar ethical laws and practices to those dictated in the Torah?
That’s a clever idea, but the law codes of the Ancient Near East predate Avraham by at least centuries.
Tru dat
Avraham Avinu was born in 1948. He lived for 175 (if you take the torah’s word for it) years so that takes us up to the year 2123.
When do you think cuneform tablets from Hazor and other ethical tablets date from?
I thought it was from similar period?
According to Exodus 12:37-38, the Israelites numbered “about six hundred thousand men on foot, besides women and children,” plus many non-Israelites and livestock.[15] Numbers 1:46 gives a more precise total of 603,550.[16] The 600,000, plus wives, children, the elderly, and the “mixed multitude” of non-Israelites would have numbered some 2 million people,[17] compared with an entire Egyptian population in 1250 BCE of around 3 to 3.5 million.[18] Marching ten abreast, and without accounting for livestock, they would have formed a line 150 miles long.[19]
No evidence has been found that indicates Egypt ever suffered such a demographic and economic catastrophe or that the Sinai desert ever hosted (or could have hosted) these millions of people and their herds.[20] Some scholars have rationalised these numbers into smaller figures, for example reading the Hebrew as “600 families” rather than 600,000 men, but all such solutions raise more problems than they solve.[21] The view of mainstream modern biblical scholarship is that the improbability of the Exodus story originates because it was written not as history, but to demonstrate God’s purpose and deeds with his Chosen People, Israel.[3] Thus it seems probable that the 603,550 people delivered from Egypt (according to Numbers 1:46) is not simply a number, but a gematria (a code in which numbers represent letters or words) for bnei yisra’el kol rosh, “the children of Israel, every individual;”[22] while the number 600,000 symbolises the total destruction of the generation of Israel which left Egypt, none of whom lived to see the Promised Land.[23]
Yeah. I know . I read about half hour ago. Ill admit .. you got me on that one. I guess I just reacted too quickly and brought a bad proof… my bad.
:_) at least you admit it. So far there really is no evidence of the Exodus happening. There is a lot of evidence obviously of us living in Israel during the time of the books of Naviim.
If Hashem provided the anan hakavod that provided full surround protection from the elements above, below, and to the sides, whilst sojourning in the desert, of course there will be no evidence.
Why does the lack of evidence mean that it probably didnt happen anyway? There is no evidence for how the beginning of the world happened. Des that mean the world never began?
Please stop using my name ms.
1. So goditit is your answer for anything that you have no answer for, easy cop-out
2. The beginning of the world does not include archeology artifiacts, 10 plagues which were supposedly unlike anything anyone had seen before have NO record in Egypt, nore does a mass exodus of half the country’s population and 40 years of camping in a desert would also leave SOMETHING but there is nothing.
Yea, does anyone actually believe the Avos were keeping the Torah before it was even given or that they invented the 3 times to daven? There is very weak “proof” of any of this in Chumash. Sounds more like a fluffy idea to make the Avos seem even greater and dovening less rabbinic..
Ani ma’amim be’emoona shelayma
bla bla bla beard? Magic powers? godidit?
> If Hashem provided the anan hakavod that provided full surround protection from the elements above, below, and to the sides, whilst sojourning in the desert, of course there will be no evidence.
Which explains the lack of evidence in the desert, but not the absence of any historical record of a mass exodus from Egypt. Sure, the Egyptians might not have recorded what they would have seen as an embarrassing defeat, but their rivals sure would have. The biblical chronology puts yetzias Mitzrayim during the reign of Thutmose III, one of Egypt’s most prosperous periods – not what you would expect for a country devastated by the maakos and the loss of much of its workforce.
> There is no evidence for how the beginning of the world happened.
The world was formed from the debris in the sun’s accretion disc, a process that has been partially observed happening around other stars.
tru dat
I meant the Ipuwer Papyru
http://thepartialview.blogspot.com/2013/05/first-anniversary-of-internet-asifa.html
Hatzalah received zero calls for three days? I’d need to see proof of this dubious statement.
Seriously. At least one person dies a day in my elderly shul and the women are all yeki-yeshivish and basically look like Muslims.
I was thinking the same thing.
This comment was made by the Mashgiach Shlita. Someone took it and posted it around town, when his daughter came home with a shorter -than-4-inch-below-the-knee skirt. Its true, all the local stores sell skirts that just about cover knee when a five footer stands tall. A new store called Basheiden sells a “knee cover” for getting in and out of the car. Apparently it is a best seller. Last week at the Bnos Melochim fair, this item won the ‘best Tzniyus invention’ award. Don’t laugh, its not satire, its Lakewood Ir Hatorah!
Like for real where does this shite end?
So about this poster. My sister got in touch with this fellow after seeing a similar ad in local Lakewood circular. it appears that this ad was set up by Yitzchak Tzvi Caller. Over the phone he identified himself only as ‘Rabbi Isaac.’ She explained to him that according to Hatzolah of Lakewood, this never happened. He apologized for the confusion, explaining that six years ago there was another asifa and this amazing occurrence followed that event. He was rushed to get the ad in and accidentally left out the details. He was not clear where the asifa took place (maybe the one in Israel in Nov. 2006?) Or which, if any hatzolah provided this information. She suggested that he put another ad in to correct his misdirection and he asked if she knows of anyone who would be willing to send him money to help out with a corrected ad. If anyone would like to get in touch with him to send him money to add details, or if you have other questions about clarifying this advertisement, his phone number is 732-905-4471.
And to add a little opinion here, it really is quite silly to somehow read this as any kind of religious or rabbinical method. It is clearly the method of an individual who has his very own, very special [distinguished by some unusual quality] interest in this subject.
This individual started a new campaign. He is promoting a ful mechitza on the Lakewood busses. He claims there are 10 Halachic reasons why it is necessary. He urges Lakewood residnts not to use the bus service until his ideas are implemented.