Tag: bar mitzvah
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5338Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5338
Swine Flu
"Samuel, come to my son's the Bar Mitzvah tomorrow" "Sorry Abraham" answered Samuel, "but I can't go because of the Flu. I went to…
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5373Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5373
Diet Tips
1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they…
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5384Joke no. Classic joke · No. 5384
Place of death
Two guys are sitting elbow to elbow at a bar mitzvah drinking too much. “I wish I knew where I was going to die,”…
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4414Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4414
Circumcision on the Internet
An enterprising Rabbi is offering circumcisions via the Internet. The service is to be called "E-MOIL."
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4457Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4457
Two Jews at the urinal
Two Jews are standing at a urinal in a Chicago hotel men's room. One asks the other if he was circumcised by Rabbi Goldberg.…
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4459Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4459
The moyel and the shoemaker
Abie was a moyel and Moishe was a shoemaker. Whenever Abie made a bris he tossed the foreskin in a box in his closet.…
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4481Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4481
The fastest circumcision
A mohel just set a new world record for the fastest circumcision. His tool of choice? A pencil sharpener!
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4519Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4519
The rabbi on circumcisions
Q: What did the rabbi say about performing circumcisions? A: "The job stinks, but I get a lot of tips."
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4565Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4565
What rabbis get for circumcisions
Did you know that rabbis get $100 for circumcisions? Plus tips of course.
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4570Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4570
The dyslexic Jew and the twin foals
Did you hear the one about the dyslexic Jew watching the mare have twins? Called it a bi-neigh brith.
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4574Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4574
Free circumcisions
Did you hear about the moyel (Rabbi) who did free circumcisions? He only took tips.
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4578Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4578
What the mohel brought
What did the Mohel bring to the ceremony that sounded like it was for dinner? A Bris kit
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4587Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4587
The mohel’s hand slipped
I converted last year So I went to a mohel But the mohel's hand slipped And he made me a gohel (Mohel: Rabbi who…
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4602Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4602
A quickie bar mitzvah
Then there was the Jewish boy who flew to Tijuana for a quickie Bar Mitzvah.
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4608Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4608
A unique bar mitzvah
A very affluent nouveau riche family goes to a bar Mitzvah counselor and says, "We want a really fancy Bar Mitzvah-- something super special,…
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4681Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4681
Born without eyelids
Did you hear about the little jewish boy who was born with no eye lids? The doctor told his mother it was a minor…
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4742Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4742
Do you have matzah balls?
There was a waiter serving at a bar mitzvah. one of the young friends of the honoree asked if he had matzoh balls. the…
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4778Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4778
A gut, a hut and a cut
Q: What are a gut, a hut, and a cut? A: Kishka, sukkah, and circumcision
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4800Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4800
Mohel jokes
Being a mohel is a very profitable business. That's because they get good tips..... What's a mohel's favorite drink? Slice... The Hebrew phrase "Zeh…
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4840Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4840
The mohel in Louisiana
There's a Mohel in Lousianna who works out of a storefront. His sign reads, "Alter Cajuns done while Jew wait."
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4847Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4847
When a mohel should retire
Q. When should a Moyel retire? A. When he can't cut it anymore.
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4849Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4849
What a mohel carries
Q: If a doctor carries a black bag and a plumber carries a tool box, what does a mohel carry? A: A Bris-kit.
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4861Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4861
The mohel’s advertisement
The old Mohel was having trouble, his hand was a bit less sure than it had been years ago. He had no Idea what…
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4884Joke no. Classic joke · No. 4884
No more Jewish jokes
The late, great Morey Amsterdam told of being heckled by a customer who objected to his telling "Jewish" jokes. He agreed he would not…