For the first time in my life I was assigned the task of cutting toilet paper for shabbos. In my modern orthodox youth we used tissues and it wasn’t until years later that I heard of cutting toilet paper on erev shabbos. It’s a strange way to prepare for shabbos, strange because it usually involves thinking about who your guests are and how much toilet paper they will use that shabbos. Will there be ladies who need it for both kinds of bathroom duties? Will there be cholent? Kale Salad? Matzo? So many factors can dictate amounts of toilet paper and this in turn can have a far reaching effect on your erev shabbos preparations. Did you ever realize that cutting toilet paper for shabbos is a mitzvah? Does that mean that you should do it outside of the bathroom?
There are 3 main shabbos toilet paper styles. Tissues, pre cut toilet paper, and the old “don’t rip on the seems”.
Tissues are controversial because some hold that when pulling a tissue there may be some tearing involved to release it from other tissues, hence the reason that in really frum households you tend to see pre-cut toilet paper.
Pre-cut toilet paper is definitely the most frum of the bunch, you can typically stereotype families based on pre-cut toilet paper alone. Basically, if someone has a stack of pre-cut toilet paper, you can probably trust their kashrus.
When there is no shabbos toilet paper left, or in sight, you may notice that someone has been tearing the toilet paper, but not on the perforation. The various shabbos melacha books mention this, but of course it’s not recommended, because your non-religious friends may come to tear toilet paper on the dotted line and this is worse than driving on shabbos according to some opinions. It also happens to be that if you don’t see any shabbos toilet paper and notice that the previous bathroom user did use the perforated lines, this may be a sign of the lack of frumkeit in the household. Typically, these sorts of people are not God fearing, have a lack of mesiras nefesh when it comes to shabbos preparations and cannot be trusted.
This is one of the reasons I use people’s bathrooms before I sit down for kiddush, I have to make sure their shabbos toilet paper is kosher, they have a negel vaasser cup, and that their reading material is appropriate for a frum household.
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For something to be funny it has to have an element of truth, which this doesn’t really even do.
I disliked it far more than liked it.
I don’t even know whom I’m addressing nor the venue, but I don’t really care.
Sounds like spam to me
Spam, the pork product?
This absolutely has truth in it!!
Too much to be satire 🙂
Tissues. The ones with the mountains on the box – if you’ve ever been in a frum home, especially with more kids than money, you’ve seen it. It’s cheap, it’s recycled, and the sheets aren’t attached, so no tearing. We’ve been using it for years instead of toilet paper, all week. If you’ve ever followed a trail of TP around the house to find the kid at the other end, you’d know why.
G-d care a lot about how you wipe your ass on Shabbot. Rav Beardface
Why God be bother with petty stuff especially about wiping your own ass.
Why would God be bother with petty stuff especially about wiping your own ass.
Because He didn’t make the laws. Old men from the bronze age did with too much time and money on their hands.
So you’re telling us that old men in the Bronze Age made everybody’s ass & knows what God wants with it? Seems somewhat more likely that they wouldn’t care if God hadn’t communicated to them that He cares about what they do with the meat suit holding their souls.
Na, the idea of a perfect being carring about toilet paper is completely irrational. The idea of a controlling religious ruling class creating as many rules as possible to control all aspects of thier subjects (which was entire point of the Torah, the Israelite state, which is why now it is so irrelavent at best), including their rigid asses is far more likely and believable. Just look at the old men pump out ristrictions in our times?
Sure, in all cases, observant Jews respect leaders because those leaders are controlling & the followers stupid. Oh, and they just happen to have been doing pretty much this same thing for 3,325 years, uh… because everybody’s just stupid. But, you’ve broken through – you figured it all out – how could they all be so blind? If they just wouldn’t worry about ripping paper on Shabbos & holidays. Then, it would all be good & true. If they just wouldn’t be so Jewish, then, hell, they’d be normal. And, if they wouldn’t insist that the Torah is actually Godly or that there’s God altogether. I mean, can’t a universe just be expanding? Can’t it just exist & be empowered every moment just because? Can’t they just say that Moses made everything up, including millions of connected parts? And, can’t the integral part given in Judaism to Rabbinic scholars just be completely removed because some of them from time to time show a lack of ability as to what’s most important to emphasize? And, shouldn’t Judaism be disregarded because some parents don’t know how to properly raise kids?
Ripping fabric was done for the Bais Hamikdosh, so we aren’t supposed to do it on Shabbos & holidays, as is well known to anyone who’s studied how the Shabbos & holiday laws are derived. In order to not make the mistake of doing that, Rabbis say not to rip paper, I presume. How difficult is it, then, to buy products that one doesn’t have to rip paper on Shabbos? It’s ignorant or stupid to compare ripping paper, a Rabbinic fence around not ripping fabric, to starting a car, which entails lighting a fire with gasoline & sparks, the only thing Jews aren’t supposed to do on Shabbos & holidays specifically mentioned in the Torah? So, the humor just doesn’t exist here, which gives me carte blanche to rant.
“Ripping fabric was done for the Bais Hamikdosh, so we aren’t supposed to do it on Shabbos & holidays, as is well known to anyone who’s studied how the Shabbos & holiday laws are derived” it was not done for the mishkan as the proof not the Temple, but I know what your saying. I feel the same. Lets cut this crap and start a univeral religion based on actual knowledge of the day that can be update as science improves instead of being locked in bronze age out dated irrelevant dogma.
It was “written” so you follow. Big deal.
Ah don’t cry about it little bitch
Did they touch a nerve?
Right, millions of people started following an 80-yr-old man, doing all kinds of weird stuff, just because it was written. Sure.
Works for much larger religions like Christians, Hindus and Muslims. Unless you think a cranky old man in the sky wrote their books too? Or is it only YOUR exclusive CHOSEN group?
Ah, CHOSEN; a little Nazi, maybe?
Actually I’m Jewish
Ah don’t cry about it little bitch
Did they touch a nerve?
Right, millions of people started following an 80-yr-old man, doing all kinds of weird stuff, just because it was written. Sure.
Works for much larger religions like Christians, Hindus and Muslims. Unless you think a cranky old man in the sky wrote their books too? Or is it only YOUR exclusive CHOSEN group?
Ah, CHOSEN; a little Nazi, maybe?
Actually I’m Jewish
I installed one of those square TP sheet dispensers, just like you see in shul. Then when we have guests for shabbat, I hide the soap so that folks think we are REALLY frum.
“Basically, if someone has a stack of pre-cut toilet paper, you can probably trust their kashrus.”
That line wins all the awards.
This is why on Nittel Nacht you tear all the toilet paper you’ll need for the rest of the year.
You mean the remaining 6 days?
Toilet paper is indeed one of the major issues of our time. Shver tsu zainen a Yid.
I’m just not comfortable with wiping my ass with something that someone else’s hands have been all over. Like I want their dead skin cells all up in my shit (as it were)?
What do you think the majority of your shit is? Dead bacteria cells from an organism other than you.