If you hang out in the frum community long enough you will notice some strange things, like the fact that many frummies who are below the poverty line have a very expensive leather couch, go check it out for yourself, frum families all over the place have these super comfy an d super pricey leather couches when they can’t even afford to serve white meat chicken on shabbos (by the way I found out that they call them tops and bottoms because they don’t want to say breasts, because chicken breasts may lead people to waste seed)
Jews in general like to brag about the deals they got, I feel like everyone is into this sort of thing, but I myself – whenever receiving a compliment about anything – feel the need to go into a long diatribe about the ins and outs of shopping at particular stores and bargaining tips. If you want to hear interesting stories on deals, do yourself a favor and ask your frummy friends where they got their leather couch. Most of the time it had to do with a crazy craigslist closeout deal, the in-laws giving them their old couch or finding it in the garbage and making it look nice again, but no sane frummy will ever pay full price and after paying full price for their cherry wood bookcases they could never afford to anyway.
Why would anyone want to serve the white meat? The bottoms are much tastier!
Absolutely.
Puts me in mind of the apocryphal story of Winston Churchill at a Society Lady’s dinner.
When asked what cut of the bird he wanted Sir Winston answered “the breast”. He was told that the proper term was “white meat”.
The next day he had a corsage sent to his hostess with a note asking her to pin it to her white meat.
Agreed. I think Americans have been conditioned to prefer white meat. More juicy drumsticks for me!
I LOVE TITS!!!!!
Oh yeah, chicken is good, too.
I paid the full price for my 2 very comfy LazyBoy couches, full friggin price! I guess you would consider me not to be a frummy then…
Plus when spilling seed on the leather couch, it’s easier to clean. Nothing worse than that crunchy feeling on the old fabric “make-out” couch in the basement.
Yes, in Telz we call the “tops” and “bottoms”. And the funniest part of avoiding certain words is that some of the greaseballs don’t know how they are pronounced. Case in point: Once we had a CPR class at Telz, and a greaseball from Money asked the instructor where you are supposed to push when performing CPR — the instructor showed him. He then asked “but how can you do that without touching a woman’s breeeests?”
It’s not smart to take a used couch from anyone in the age of bedbugs. Saving the money is not worth the risk.
Considering the frum community’s lack of acceptance regarding homosexuality, you’d think they would pick different terms.
‘Tops’ and ‘bottoms’ are much more suggestive of forbidden behaviour than ‘breasts’.
I was invited to someone’s house for Shabbos lunch. A young married guest requested that if anyone who has a black leather couch they do not need ,to donate it to him and his callah. I guess the young man never considered how gauche his request was to the others at the table who earned the cost of their furniture. I wonder if asked for a black late model Odyssey the next time he was invited somewhere.
“Tops” and “Bottoms” are also gay and BDSM terms… frummy chicken is now, officially, turning me on.
Very true. As long as there are an equal number of tops and bottoms, everyone can partake.
Unless you have a switch in the mix, then you’re probably ok. But I would hate to see a frummy dinner of people topping from the bottom…. chas v’shalom!
There was a really funny Leonard and Larry cartoon many years ago with a phone call, a quid pro quo a roast chicken and a straight guy who got entirely the wrong impression.
Ha! I knew this guy once, and he and his boyfriend were in the kitchen with some oil and spices, but then the roommate came home, and…..
Ok, this might be the wrong blog for this sort of story…uuhhhhh…. then they made shabbos dinner, and everyone was happy, and benched afterward, and nothing interesting happened at all.
The End.
“Frummy chicken is now, officially, turning me on.”
I have to admit that I never, ever, thought I would hear or read that sentence.
Funny, here in Montreal, the demand for dark meat has surpassed white meat. Legs are now more expensive than breast. Go figure. As for me, I love tit 😉
Tim Minchin. Youtube
watch?v=4bEGLbCNRqw
I am reliably informed by the USDA’s Foreign Agricultural Service statistics, that Third World countries almost always import dark-meat chicken from USA.