Hesh, you really do need to get married. You have no clue what married life is about.
First of all, not everyone likes music to set the mood. Everyone has different ideas.
In the winter months, when it gets dark early, we used to send our kids to a babysitter for two hours, and tell her that we were going out. How would she know where we were, anyway?
That end with you rubbing your nipples was hilarious!!!! I was seriously dying of laughter…but then again, I have a very perverted mind. Shadchans, bar your doors, every girl out there will want a piece of that hotness now. Heck, a few guys might be tempted to go over the edge too, so be scared.
And yeah, frum Jews have no good loving music. Not even a Barry White type…what’s so wrong with “Can’t get enough of your love, babe”? It seems pretty kosher, unless the goal of the Chareidism is to drain all emotions from it’s adherents like some sort of Borg-like entity….OMG…I’ll have to get back to you on that!!!
(runs off, trying to avoid being assimilated by the Bo…Chareidim)
if hearing the word ‘gay’ is enough to ruin your mood, then you, my friend are gay. or homophobic. or hateful. but no matter what, completely uncomfortable with your sexuality. it’s ok if you can’t get it up, no one is judging you.
You are such an am-ha’aretz its unbeleivable. Its no doubt you cant find anyone o marry you. I think you’ve reached that fork in the road. You keep that banner on top your page calling yourself a frum yid while everything and anything that comes out of your mouth is prust, inappropriate, un-tnius, and most of all unbefitting of a jew. Either call yourself an off an am-ha’aretz, or start talking like a jew. You are an absolute disgrace to all of klal yisroel.
because one person has a right to decide what is considered “jewish…” and wow, crazy and convenient that it’s your opinion that is supposed to matter.go enjoy your sexless dried up marriage and shut up.
Hesh, you are getting better & better – but you are still absolutely clueless on the whole frum sex scene!
Your whole Jewish sushi take is great, but the sexual sushi thing – you got that straight from Sex in The City! Thats Hollywood! not real life!
1. anything sexual position is permitted, as per the rambam, when sex is permitted and agreed upon by both partners (husband and wife).
2. dont you find that a man that likes sushi (the raw fish type) will enjoy going down on his partner?
I’m so glad that you liked this parody I wrote, which was inspired by this amazing video. Somehow I am not surprised that you own this album, it’s definitely a classic (after Ace of Base).
I can’t wait to hear the Yeshiva Boyz Choir cover it 🙂
Take a dunk, count to three
And get ready for tonight
For tonight is Mikvah Night
It feels like Ecstasy, all through the night
Pour the shnaps, throw the petals
Girl Ill give you everything
Candles smell like besamim
I want to hold your hand
Girl you know what I mean
Chorus:
Ill get to know you
Like were told to do
And like Friday night
Babies will start to cry
Ill get to know you
Like were told to do
And I will not let go
Til the Rav says to
Girl relax, were alone
Shayna Bracha’s now out cold
Im just gonna play Heshy’s CD
Girl, are you hungry? Cuz I bought sushi tonight
Throw your robe on the floor
I’m gonna take my crocks off too
We’ve made plans to have a date
Girl, for night Seder, I cannot be late
Chorus
Baby tonight, it just fits
Hope for kid number six
Though we cannot have passion
Anything that you ask
I will give you a happy Mikvah Night, your night.
lol….slightly disturbing at the end there….but appreciate the humor….especially the themed shalach manos…lol!!!!
some times your just got to keep your mouth shut
Hesh, you really do need to get married. You have no clue what married life is about.
First of all, not everyone likes music to set the mood. Everyone has different ideas.
In the winter months, when it gets dark early, we used to send our kids to a babysitter for two hours, and tell her that we were going out. How would she know where we were, anyway?
Maybe she knows a little too much about what married life is about. and thus, wrote the song. get it?
In the winter months, when it gets dark early, we would send our kids to a babysitter for two hours, and tell her we were going out.
How could she know?
You should suggest playing “wouldn’t it be nice” by the beach boys in the background. Hay its themed and from what 50 years ago?
That end with you rubbing your nipples was hilarious!!!! I was seriously dying of laughter…but then again, I have a very perverted mind. Shadchans, bar your doors, every girl out there will want a piece of that hotness now. Heck, a few guys might be tempted to go over the edge too, so be scared.
And yeah, frum Jews have no good loving music. Not even a Barry White type…what’s so wrong with “Can’t get enough of your love, babe”? It seems pretty kosher, unless the goal of the Chareidism is to drain all emotions from it’s adherents like some sort of Borg-like entity….OMG…I’ll have to get back to you on that!!!
(runs off, trying to avoid being assimilated by the Bo…Chareidim)
Verry funny, though I hate MArvin Gay, his last name alone is enough to kill the mood.
Love your business plans, especially the sheitel farm, should go very well with my frum breast milk “cholov yisroel) idea.
Nothing sexual about sushi, ok maybe just the smell…
if hearing the word ‘gay’ is enough to ruin your mood, then you, my friend are gay. or homophobic. or hateful. but no matter what, completely uncomfortable with your sexuality. it’s ok if you can’t get it up, no one is judging you.
frumfrum,
I think you need to get laid, sound like you haven’t in a long time.
Adena – hook me up with a girl – all I need is one
Definitely your most controversial video yet! Awesome!
Nothing sexual about sushi until you combine it with mikva night. GIS “naked sushi”
What was the point of this rabbi speaking about sex to these kids anyway?
You should include whipped cream in the mikva packages.
Never thought sushi was such a sexually charged food.
You are such an am-ha’aretz its unbeleivable. Its no doubt you cant find anyone o marry you. I think you’ve reached that fork in the road. You keep that banner on top your page calling yourself a frum yid while everything and anything that comes out of your mouth is prust, inappropriate, un-tnius, and most of all unbefitting of a jew. Either call yourself an off an am-ha’aretz, or start talking like a jew. You are an absolute disgrace to all of klal yisroel.
because one person has a right to decide what is considered “jewish…” and wow, crazy and convenient that it’s your opinion that is supposed to matter.go enjoy your sexless dried up marriage and shut up.
get a life
I think you mean, “got get laid” and get that pole out of your ass.
Hesh, you are getting better & better – but you are still absolutely clueless on the whole frum sex scene!
Your whole Jewish sushi take is great, but the sexual sushi thing – you got that straight from Sex in The City! Thats Hollywood! not real life!
Push (push in the bush), by Musique… would be a classic addition to your CD
You gotta get married… or at least laid
Heshy, you are, as always, hilarious and nuts at the same time. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say when you experience the real thing one day…
What about 2 live Jew –
In response to ME – please read my latest post, and take the kishke out of your ass.
1. anything sexual position is permitted, as per the rambam, when sex is permitted and agreed upon by both partners (husband and wife).
2. dont you find that a man that likes sushi (the raw fish type) will enjoy going down on his partner?
that’s hilarious!
as per the rambam everything is acceptable sexually between a consenting married couple, when the woman is not nidah, of course.
Hey Heshy,
I’m so glad that you liked this parody I wrote, which was inspired by this amazing video. Somehow I am not surprised that you own this album, it’s definitely a classic (after Ace of Base).
I can’t wait to hear the Yeshiva Boyz Choir cover it 🙂
Mikvah Night
by Eti
Parody of I’ll Make Love to You by Boyz II Men
(Here’s a link to the music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqU2WXKcUb0)
Take a dunk, count to three
And get ready for tonight
For tonight is Mikvah Night
It feels like Ecstasy, all through the night
Pour the shnaps, throw the petals
Girl Ill give you everything
Candles smell like besamim
I want to hold your hand
Girl you know what I mean
Chorus:
Ill get to know you
Like were told to do
And like Friday night
Babies will start to cry
Ill get to know you
Like were told to do
And I will not let go
Til the Rav says to
Girl relax, were alone
Shayna Bracha’s now out cold
Im just gonna play Heshy’s CD
Girl, are you hungry? Cuz I bought sushi tonight
Throw your robe on the floor
I’m gonna take my crocks off too
We’ve made plans to have a date
Girl, for night Seder, I cannot be late
Chorus
Baby tonight, it just fits
Hope for kid number six
Though we cannot have passion
Anything that you ask
I will give you a happy Mikvah Night, your night.
Chorus
>as per the rambam everything is acceptable sexually between a consenting married couple, when the woman is not nidah, of course.
Even mixed dancing?