Whenever something is banned or restricted in the frum community, people like to jokingly say that it could lead to mixed dancing. This line is from our parents generation, yet somehow it has remained the one line that people can say half jokingly in response to some of the crazy chumros and bans in recent times. Mixed dancing was a fear in previous generations, one only has to pick up one of the fictional biographies of one of our pre-war gedolim put out by by Artscroll, RavElchonon, Reb Yaakov, and Rav Moshe all dealt with the shul dinner and dance. Back in the day it was relatively normal for orthodox shuls and organizations to have mixed dancing at events. I assume this is where the age old adage “it could lead to mixed dancing” comes from. Some people also like to point fingers at the frum community that has become so right wing by reminding everyone that when they were younger, their shul had dances.
So I’m searching for a new term and naturally I turn to facebook, out of 6,000 friends and followers there must be some kernals of goodness that hold their own. Some ideas are listed below, but none good enough to replace the unreplacable mixed dancing thing.
It could lead to mixed texting
It could lead to intermarriage
It could lead to smartphones
It could lead to Gay
It could lead to OTD
It could lead to YCT
It could lead to WoW
Their kids will end up in public school
It could lead to women’s rights
It could lead to sexting
It could lead to unfiltered internet
So basically we’re back at square one because all of these are ok, but as compared to mixed dancing they suck. At least some of you now know where the line came from and can help figure out one that applies to our time.
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“You might come to build a raft”
Chumrah police Frumkeit is old and dated, so the dated comment fits.
For the frum gays amongst us, “this could lead to mixed dancing” has, uh, a punitive ring to it.
“frum gays” is like Christian Mohammedans or frum pork-eaters.
You can be romantically and $e><ually oriented towards the same gender and still be perfectly observant as long as you don't engage in any forbidden acts.
So what makes someone gay, if you don’t perform the act? That you hang out with guys and and the girls mini skirts annoy you?
Aren’t you just as any other single who can’t get laid halachikly?
Are you asking seriously? If so, what defines one as a virgin heterosexual?
lol. Exactly.
Were you straight when you were a virgin?
Were you gay?
Were you not sure?
If you are still a virgin do you have any idea which flavor you prefer, or is it still completely up in the air and could go either way?
Simpleton….
Being gay is about who you WANT to schtup, not who you actually schtup.
The first time I had heard the mixed dancing line was in the punchline to the joke
http://www.jewishjokes.net/jokes/329/Mixed-dancing
“A couple was taking classes before getting married and they reviewed the laws for couples. The rabbi put a lot of emphasis on staying away from mixed dancing parties. He claimed it to be a huge sin and to stay away.
A few sessions later they were learning about laws of family and sex. The groom asked, “is all types of sex permitted?” The rabbi replied some are questionable, he had to be specific. The groom asked, “Is military position o.k.?” the rabbi said, ” yes perfect.”
“How about woman on top?”
“Yes, fine” replied the rabbi.
In a chair?”
No problem.” He answered.
Standing up?
The Rabbi got angry and said, ” No way, no how…it may lead to mixed dancing!”
I had always assumed that it was referencing the joke…
“It could lead to orgies”.
It could lead to Triangle-K
nice!
“You could become a feminist.”
Just was at a shul which had some mixed dancing..it still exist when the rabbi and old ppl leave the 18-24 unmarried singles are solving the shidduch crisis:)
It could lead to drinking stam?
It could lead to FrumSatire.
It could lead to blogging! Just the thought makes shietals spin.
It could lead to blogging! Just the thought makes shietals spin.
Let us not remind the frum revisionists that most orthodox shuls in the US prior to WWII had mixed seating; or that married couples dancing at social events in ortho-synagogues wasn’t cause for alarm. Or that most dati women, incl. rebbetzins, may have worn a hat out of doors, but didn’t really cover their hair, and wore knee-length skirts. Or that there weren’t kashrut chumro police (er, organizations) prior to 1919 and that no one even thought about glatt, let alone chalav Israel, pat Israel, everything Israel. Or that observance of the three weeks and minor fasts used to be the province of scholars and pious souls. Or that wearing a kippa and tzitzit 24/7 used to be considered middot hassidut. The list goes on. The yeshivishe-hareidi chumro brigade has murdered the derekh h’am (path of the common folk) and turned orthodoxy into a compulsory adherence to what was once a derekh hayachid (an individual pietist path) only pursued by those suited to it.
Apikoros! Things were never that way. The way Charedi communities do things is the way all Jews did all the way back to Sinai from speaking Yiddish to wearing gartels. My rabbi said so, and I know it’s true because he has Daas Torah and told me so himself.
You can’t bring Reiahs from US history. Everyone knows before R’ Ahron Kotler established BMG the US was a treife medina.
Being raised in a modern orothodox home in the 60’s, there were things we did because that’s the way it was. The lights were not turned off or on, on shabbos I always wore my yamulka and talis katan and went to shul every morning and put on my tefilln and of course removed them after davening. I skipped, never said every word. We had friends and some were girls-not girl friends just friends and sometime an attraction developed which led to some low level necking and petting ( I mean the girls) WE only ate the foods that we were exposed to which was kosher. Did not drive on shabbos and recited a brocha before wolfing down a slice of Shabsie’s Pizza. I don’t know about the rest of you reading this but my world exploded in 1965. The Young Israel of Eastern Parkway had dances every thursday night. The Beatles changed the world and the magic carpet ride is in full flight
The Beatles caused such a major shift in orthodox practice? Please explain in more detail how this extraordinary cause and effect took place.
As most of you know, I’m a gyoress. As I always craved religion, I not only was Christian but went to Christian college. I was NOT raised in religion though (for those who have heard me say I wasn’t raised religious this is accurate I found it on my own). Anyhow, mixed dancing often termed social dancing was taboo at that college. Though we got a heter to dance at the millitary ball. When I was a student there I ran across quite by accident a passage in my CD ROM encyclopedia for “social dancing.” I printed it and put it on the door of my dorm room. I thought it was funny.
It could lead to rational thought.