I recently hooked up two friends, its the first time I was successful in getting two people to actually go on a date. All of the other times there were excuses made. Usually something about one party being a GU (Geographically Undesirable) or not frum enough or they heard they wore a black velvet yarmulke and were therefore too frum, or countless other stupid reasons that cause me to scream multiple expletives into the phone.
But these people were different, the thought popped into my head and I just figured, what the hey. My friend asked me maybe 3 questions, including is she fat or skinny and where does she live and that was that. She asked some other random stuff like what kind of shoes does he wear, what is his yiddishkeit level and just like that they both agreed.
They did it the new school way of long winded Facebook chats and then a date at a bar. I didn’t hear from either of them until they went out a few more times, they were both really into each other and thats where I end my story. When the girl told me they were both into each other I think I shepped more nachas then a grandmother learning of an upcoming bris. I was smiling cheek to cheek and I was super pumped (no it wasn’t because of money- they are both dirt poor and probably would give me the finger if I asked for money) but it was such a gratifying feeling knowing that two people who’s paths might not have crossed, were involved with each other solely based on my doings, and that felt damned good.
But dealing with friends who I try to hook up with other people and their crazy issues makes me realize that being a shadchun is way harder than it looks and although many shadchunim are yentas, bitches and nosy judgmental beings – they mean well and most of them are regular old people just trying to do a mitzvah and make some bank.
Other related posts:
Congrads
P.S. A finger might be worth a lot of money in China
Mazel Tov!
Shkoyach.
nice. my dad says if you hook two people up, and they wind up getting married, you get a special place in olam haba. if olam haba and your location in it mean anything to you while you’re here, that could be cool, if it’s true.
It’s a terrific feeling. I made one shidduch and going to their wedding and then their son’s bris was amazing.
Setting up friends is nearly not as nerve wracking as setting up complete strangers.You know where your friends are coming from and you know what they want. You navigate around your friends while setting up strangers is a different ballpark. You did a very good favor for your friend and I’m sure he is grateful for your help. Here is a piece of advice : do not set up family members! That is a danger zone.Trust me.
Way to go!
Oh they aren’t getting married any time soon – but I shepped nachas anyway learning that they hit it off
I do it for the same giddy feeling.
Only all my friends are either goyim or are frum, and it’s a little more complicated.
Recently I hooked up a Mormon girl friend of mine (who has an affinity for Jewish boys, and they for her) with a very nice Mormon boy I met in DC.
I don’t care what anyone says. I think I get to shepp nachas, too!
what if he eats peanut butter hamentaschen?
One day, while I was vacationing in Hong Kong, I misplaced the key to my hotel room. I called the hotel manager and told him that I needed a new key as soon as possible. Three minutes later, a prostitute showed up at my door saying “Manager tell me you want nooky quick-quick. You give me hundred dollar, I give you number one nooky!” I tried to explain to the young woman, “No, I want a NEW KEY, not your nooky!” She got angry and yelled at me, You want nooky but not MY nooky! What wrong with MY nooky? My nooky clean, just wash this morning!” “You don’t understand me”, I told her, “I need a NEW KEY!”. “And I need hundred dollar!”, she replied at the top of her voice. “Well“, I thought to myself, “since I can’t leave without a new key, I might as well avail myself of the opportunity.” That is when I got my Chinese nickname. When I took my drawers down, the young woman exclaimed, “You hung so lo!, you hung so lo!” “No, I told her, my name is Moshe Rabeynu, I’m not Hung So Lo. I’m not even half-Chinese.” “For China“ she replied “you hung so lo!” So that is how I became known as Moshe “Hung So Lo” Rabeynu in China. I went to the hotel manager and told him, “ I need a new key for my room!” “I already send up nooky for you”, he told me and added, “number one nooky. What the matter, she no go your room?” “Yes,” I answered, “a girl came to my room, and yes, she was quite spectacular and I gave her a tryout but she wasn’t what I really wanted. I need a New Key!” “Ah, now I understand”, said the manager, you no want girl nooky. You want new key from Sum Yung Boi! I get Sum Yung Boi for you!” “No, No”, I exclaimed quite embarrassed, “I do not want some young boy. I want a new key!” The manager appeared to be losing his patience and exclaimed, “If you want new key, you have to get Sum Yung Boi to go to room!” “But sir”, I tried to explain, “I am not gay. If some young boy came to my room, it would be a waste of time!” “How can be waste of time”, he answered, “you want new key, Sum Yung Boi give you new key!” With this, the manager picked up his phone and spoke rapidly into it. “I paged for Sum Yung Boi, he be here soon!” , he told me. I was mortified and wanted to leave the lobby but the manager continued conversing, “Before, when you asked over phone for new key, I thought you wanted nooky. Ha Ha Ha, we have misunderstanding. Now I realize that all time you needed Sum Yung Boi!” “No No“, I responded, worrying that I would never be understood, “I don’t want some young boy. I’m not gay! I need a NEW KEY, A NEW KEY!” At this moment an elderly man came up to us dressed in some kind of work uniform. “Here is Sum Yung Boi”, said the manager, “He go up to room with you and give you new key. Make you happy” “But, I don’t want nooky from this fellow, and, besides how can you call him some young boy? He looks to be seventy or seventy five years old.” The manager looked as if he reached his point of exasperation and yelled at me, “This man’s name is Sum Yung Boi! He is locksmith for hotel! He will check lock to room and give you NEW KEY! You want New Key for room from Sum Yung Boi or not?” “Yes”, I replied, totally embarrassed. “I’ll go up to my room with Mr. Sum Yung Boi and he will give me a new key. I‘m sorry for the misunderstanding!”
Are you bored by life in general and by the countless insipid and inane blogs you encounter while trying to find something amusing, stimulating and interesting? Do you yearn for intelligent and thought provoking chit-chat instead of the mindless, dull and semi-coherent drivel spewed out by the countless feeble minds that infest the blogosphere? Are you tired of communicating only with people who talk the way you do and think the way you do? Do you crave an adventure of the mind and are not afraid to brave the unknown landscape at the border of lunacy to find it? Well then, pack up your intellectual gear and start out bravely for I am waiting for YOU at http://theyeshivabucher.blogspot.com
Shalom and zei gezunt until then!
THE INTERNAL WAR BETWEEN SPIRITUALITY AND NON-SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF
A learned treatise into the conflict between biblical representations and reason in 21st century Jewish thought.
Why is Masada considered an heroic chapter in Jewish history? Is it because it was actually heroic or because it was deemed necessary, by Jewish communal intellectual authorities, for it to be looked upon, and given lip-service to, as heroic? What is “heroic” about a bunch of Jews committing suicide? It was, indeed, a communal profession of religious conviction but why has it been hailed as “heroic”? Do Jewish children strain their intellects in puzzlement while trying to internally compute this incident as heroic on a par with, say, the Spartan stand at Thermopylae or the early American defense of the Alamo? How extensive a suspension of disbelief is required of young Jewish minds to accept this interpretation, that lying down and committing suicide is as valiant as armed resistance? Logical reasoning dictates that what is true for the few is equally true for the many. Would it be “heroic” if we were to all lie down and present our jugular veins when faced with a seemingly hopeless situation? ………………………..
Why is the story of Purim looked upon with such celebratory joy even to the extent of communal approval of drunken revelry? If the fate of an entire people is based upon the individual allure of one woman’s sexual paraphernalia to the eyes of a heathen potentate, is it not more of a dire warning than a miraculous rescue? If Vashti had acceded to Ahasueros’s order to dance nakit, Esther would not have had the opportunity to strut her stuff and win the old bastard’s heart (together with his private parts). What kind of subliminal message does this narrative give to young Jewish males? Could it be that manhood and the readiness to resort to armed conflict is not as efficacious as the sweet essence of female pudenda when the Jewish people are in jeopardy? ….
If Solomon was so wise, why was he such a horny geezer with hundreds of wives and concubines? How does inordinately vast wisdom and knowledge reconcile with grotesque and profligate licentiousness? Solomon built Jerusalem but then he gilded the temple walls with gold and, in doing so, enticed every money grubbing despot in the known world to come and get it. How many Israelites, men, woman and children, died because of the gold hanging on those temple walls? Do we accept Solomon’s folly as the accomplishment of a wise and noble monarch because it is truly so or because we have been conditioned to accept it as such despite the strain such belief exacts on credulity? Why should GOLD have had such a place of supreme importance in the ancient Jewish conception of God’s priorities. Did God care whether the temple wherein his children prayed was plated with gold? Would his children’s prayers have been invalidated if they had been offered in a more modest setting? As we give lip-service to professions of longing for the ancient “Jerusalem of Gold” do we really yearn for a spiritual connection in which gold is immaterial and irrelevant? …………….
Moshe Rabeynu, a.k.a. Moshe “Hung So Lo“ Rabeynu, a.k.a. The Yeshiva Bucher, will continue this incisive and stimulating discussion in the near future. You can access Moshe’s blog at http://theyeshivabucher.blogspot.com
Shalom and Zei Gezunt!