Believe it or not, some gay folks actually keep halacha (besides for the better to die than sleep with another man thing – but let’s be dan l’kav z’chus – who said they are acting on it-Right?) Not only do some gay folks keep halacha, they probably have a lot of unique shayalas that would take a mamish gadol from pre-war Europe to tackle.
Halachic Questions for the gay man:
Do I need to check my strap-on for shatnez?
Do we really need to do the hole in the sheet thing? It’s really awkward unless done in missionary.
Can my partner and I keep a form of niddah? We heard that mikvah night is supposed to be da bomb.
Am I allowed to go to singles shabbatons to scope out the guys, or is this included in the commandment not to place a stumbling block in front of someone – by leading the girls on.
Does Astroglide contain chometz or kitnyot? Do you know of any lube companies that are kosher for pesach? (Can we usean uncertified lube if we don’t eat it?)
Is lube allowed on shabbos? If we go raw there may be blood and I know that’s assur.
Are shtenders considered holy, or can we use them during role playing?
Are shaigetz’s for practice or is everyone fair game since it’s against the Torah anyway?
So I took the plunge and joined Saw You At Sinai, a big step in the right direction for me to realize that even though I haven’t thought about dating or marriage in some time, I should force myself into thinking about it.
Is it better to stay in the closet and live a lie, or to come out and bring pain on my family?
If we were to have a basement minyan for gays in my Monsey home, could we have a mechitzah to separate those in relationships?
Is it considered untznius for me to eat phallic-like objects such as bananas and Popsicle sticks?
Do talesim actually have to be black and white, or is my rainbow talis kosher?
I think these are actual questions of your and you are a homosecksual.
Seriosly-your obsession with gays, molesting rabbis and such makes me believe it.
Seek help.
you’re a douche.
I agree, you are a douche. I make a motion to ban this guy from the site. All in favor?
Oppose! although he is a big douche, the great thing about frum satire is the open commenting, no need to sign in, no moderator just free discussion. True it comes with a price, but I think it is worth it
banning your opponent is a douche move.
You are correct sir
i was wondering why heshy doesn’t ban him , but John has a point. this guy proves that frum satire truely allows open discussion.
Kindergarten wisdom: ignore annoying people and they will eventually get bored and leave.
^^^almost as funny as heshy’s post.^^^
Why the hell would gay men use strap-ons?
This was unfunny.
I would imagine for when they’re lacking in what they’re packing?
Not all gay men have penetrative sex, anyway.
The fact remains is was an unfunny and derogatory quip.
I thought it was funny as hell!
Usually I laugh, this time, not so much. I’m not even going to play the “you’re being a jerk to the GLBT’s” card….I’m just going to say that if you MUST be a jerk, at least be funny.
Grow up.
Mostly recycled and totally silly. Hesh, you can do better.
Funny post Hesh, although i suspect that you will have to block comments by the end of the week. Keep up the good work my friend.
I liked it a lot. Would like to see a discussion of issues for gay women…especially nidda.
No matter how bad the topic, and how bad the joke, Heshy always makes us think.
Does a gay man say Zoekayf kefuffim on Yom Kippur?
Heshy, all the above comments have some truth in them. You are somewhat obsessed with these issues, but I don’t think that it’s because you’re gay, it’s more that you are like at 14 year old in this way, you have to keep proving that you’re straight to yourself and thereby to everyone around you. (On the other hand I think a lot of guys never grow out of this phase, so you’re in good company.) Some of it was in poor taste. You probably WILL have to disable comments. And some of it was very funny.
Actually I have only disabled comments once and to be honest with you – someone sent me an email about this so I decided to do a post. The only think I’m obsessed with is making people laugh, pissing people off and making people think – oh and mountain bikes, Napa Cabernet’s, french kissing, davening sehmona esrei and super lightweight backpacking gear.
Anyone who knows Heshy can tell you that he is definitely not gay.
You mistake obsession with support.
What Heshy is doing with these posts is showing his readers and hopefully the rest of the greater jewish community that gay jews exist and will not simply go away because people do not want to think about the fact that guy davening next to him, the kid that just got barmitzvahed, or the nice lady down the street that makes the fantastic challa are all gay.
Just because somebody thinks about these things makes them gay/immature/weird? You guys need to remove the stick from your uptight asses and realize that not everything he writes can be up to your heavenly standards. Why even bother commenting if you’re just going to insult him? Your feedback does nothing except make you look bad.
How about Milchig and Fleishig shalos?
I’m not going into details (not to get banded), but you get my point.
The following are REAL halachic questions for frum gay men:
http://www.orthogays.org/faq.html
sigh…
A few more come to mind:
-What’s the gadol’s opinion of metzitza be peh?
– Is using a condom equivalent to being partially shomer negiah?
– Should one or shouldn’t one go to the mikvah before Yom Kippur?
I got teo:
If 10 gay men get to gether for a miniyan,does each person partition themselves in their own little cubicle for a michitzah as they might get distacted from eachother
Can they use the ladies mikvah, for the same reason men use the men’s mikvah.
See, that’s the thing- I’m a bisexual woman, and I totally feel the mechitza because it keeps me from getting distracted by the men on the other side. But it makes me more conscious that I’m not being kept from getting distracted by the women with whom I’m sitting.
For some of us these are real issues.
Pretty funny man, keep up the good work. Though I really do not get the strap-on. Leather harness maybe, or jock strap – those might have shatnez.
See I’m glad one of my gay friends gets my humor
Not true. You know I enjoy much of your satire, but most of this simply wasn’t funny. 🙁
Exception: “Are shaigetzes for practice?”
What bracha do gaze make on having seks? Hamotzee zera l’vatala…
And can you set me up with Danny Boy? LOL
I know I do. They could have been a little better, but one has to start somewhere.
The question of the mechitza is a good one, though.
Stop the ignorance!
http://www.glydsa.org/faq presents real questions on the topic.
I always figured that hemroids were the gay equivalent of Niddah. There is blood in the penetrable canal , and there is a recovery process involved.
I always figured that hemroids were the gay version of being a Niddah. Blood in the place where the mans would …..
Two frum lesbians that start cycling together can have awesome mikveh nights, but what about those poor lezzie couples that cycle 180 degrees out-of-sync? They could never have sex at all!!!