I was looking through old videos on my youtube account and found this one, it even has 15,000 views on it. I really found it great because of the chassidic rebels in the back round, this was one iof the videos I made during my 8 months living in Monsey. I should tell you that this was before I had such a large audience of converts.
I wonder how many people hang around the frum community who quite their conversions?
I am Jewish but my husband is not. I was not raised to identify as Jewish, and only came to it when I had children. Through Chabad I have been becoming more and more frum including the basics- kosher, shabbos, etc and even cover my hair, wear skirts, etc. My husband is at the end of the process of converting. And I am MISERABLE!
I would never ask him to stop but I want to soooo bad. I feel like all the rules are like a noose around my neck and I am being slowly strangled. My kids go to a Jewish school, and they really love it, but they HATE shabbos- cry EVERY Saturday and it is to the point I just want to stop. I dont want them to hate being a Jew.
The thing that kills me the most is those that totally identify as Jews and keep very little of the commandments. Or even Mod Orthodox Jews who dont cover their hair and wear pants. Why can they do it and I cant? I know I could, but once you start wearing skirts, can you back track without looking like a total jerk?
Everything was going great until my husband started converting. The more we learned the more unhappy I have become. It has been a 5 year process, so it isnt like we are fresh off the boat. IF he were to put his conversion on pause, I would still keep many of the mitzvahs and still hang out with all of my frum friends. Nothing would change. But I wouldnt feel like I was drowning.
Shabbos is one my fave things about being frum
Most children hate changes in general. If YOU enjoy Shabbat, you’ll be able to pass that on to them; if you observe it begrudgingly, no surprise they don’t like it.
Re. looking like a jerk, that shouldn’t be a reason to stop doing something that you think is right, and which may even be very helpful to you in staying observant. But I understand what you mean, I experience the same from the opposite direction as I consider starting wearing a kippa all the time.
Been There!
No name, it can be a bit uncomfortable to keep shabbos at first. Make sure that you have toys, board games etc, books for you and your kids to read. Buy special treats for the kids etc… Take walks, go to the park with the kids. Try to concentrate on things that you can do on Shabbos, rather than on the prohibitions. Maybe you are moving too fast in your observance.
i have a friend who tried to convert and they wouldnt let him because he wouldnt break up with his girlfriend and they knew that she was the only reason he was converting so he gave up, but hes still only friends with frum jews in the community for the most part
VERY interesting. I wish someone could gather statistics on this phenomenon. Also common (but rarely admitted to) is the “became-a-BT-but-is-not-frum-anymore” phenomenon.
I am one of those BT and now not frum. I know of quite a few others. I consider myself a non-practicing orthodox Jew, mostly because the orthodox prayers and tradition are what I am comfortable with but I sincerely dont beleive that Hashem cares what I eat or wear.
I’m curious on the halachic requirements for conversion if the wife is Jewish and the husband is simply converting to make his wife happy. Probably a no go.
Actually, it seems like he is converting to make his wife unhappy, which probably is better proof of his desire to be Jewish than most converts have.
I would also point out that unless you live in a small community, you could try the local conservative synagogue, which might be a better fit.
I married one. But don’t tell my mother, she thinks my wife is halachically Jewish.