I would say that the beginning of this post is geared towards people who live in apartment buildings, or work in places where the elevator gets crowded. Elevator Rage, we all get it from time to time, and the reactions are interesting every time. I grew up on the 8th floor of an apartment building on the upper west side, quite frequently the elevator has hold ups usually related to large Jewish families crotzing around as my old ma likes to say though I prefer to use the term hocking. It is also frequently held up by insensitive snobby bastards who feel the need to chat up the old lady from the second floor about how her yoga class for seniors is going. It could be multiple reasons, nevertheless its usually held up for nonsense, and you cant do jack about it.
My father bangs on the glass, as if someone on the 16th floor will hear his gentle pats on the glass and realize his pleas to hurry up. He will bang with his palms a few times, curse under his breath and then knock on the glass, maybe he is trying Morse Code, a few bangs later he may get a response of strollers entering the elevator and a few cries and suddenly its here and he would attribute it to his ability to slap the glass and send his ghetto Morse Code up to the bastards who cant get the angle on their baby strollers straight- to fit more then one in the small elevator.
The worst is when people decide to have a chat, it always happens, and in the small bubble above my head I always envision grabbing the women with the dog and throwing her out of the elevator and screaming obscenities at her- instead I stand quietly boiling with rage, kind of like road rage, except everyone does not get to where they are going at the same time.
Then you have the button pushers, for some reason people feel that if that elevator is taking so long, the computer forgot to register their original button push, so they just keep pushing the button, always interesting to see them hold the button put their ear to the glass, maybe slap the glass and start rapidly pushing the button and saying, man what the hell is the hold up?
I personally am what they call a walk out, if I am stuck on some floor with people chatting or screwing around with gift baskets, because the people who live on the upper west side have nothing better to do with their money then buy overpriced secular shaloch manos, which are left with the doorman. Basically gift baskets of wine and cheese wrapped in tissue paper, and to imagine that someone is charging $100 for the wrapping of a couple pieces of cheese and wine, throw in a free delivery with the Mexican laborer on his bike and boom- you have the UWS gift basket awaiting the person #7F on the door mans desk. So I leave the elevator mid-ride, I just say screw it, I am out of here.
The walker-outer like myself can also be changed into the walker upper. In my building you have people who take the elevator up to the third floor, even though it takes twice as long and the elevator rage is just not worth it. I tend to wait for a few minutes and then I run up the stairs, yes I am out of breath and coughing up blood by the time its over, but I have a severe case of impatient for stupidity.
At school, I never use the elevator, it doesn’t pay to wait, and I’m always nervous who will be in it with me, so I just climb up the 3, 4 or 5 flights of steps. Sometimes I get out of breath, so then I wait a few minutes before I leave the stairway to catch up.
But by hotels, I always go in the elevator, its the best part. Its usually always empty, and when their clean glass ones you get to see the whole lobby and pool as you go down, so thats fun to watch. Plus its fun to see all the important people on their business meetings coming into the hotel, or the pilots. (Although, I’m not sure if there are even steps by hotels, I never checked)
Classic as always! keep up the good work
Hey baby sitter I can assure you that every building has at least one set of stairs in addition to an elevator.
Thank you Yaakov- glad you enjoyed it- and yes this was classic.
Elevators are stupid. Take the stairs and help your heart.
in light of the energy crisis…
I always take the elevater.
Grrrr….
🙂
omg so im very small so i dont weigh that much so i never regiter wen i get onto an empty elevato in my office building. I have to jump around like a crazy person till it registers… but yeah not walking up 29 floors
I take the stairs whenever I can, I hate elevators, what if someone farts
I always meet cool people in elevators, esp in hotels and stuff. But the other day when i was stuck in a hotel in Atlanta, i was alone in an elevator with this drunk sleazy African American. It was like 1:30am and he was flirting with me in a really sexual way, and i seriously thought there was a threat to my virginity. So i got out a couple of floors early and took the stairs. Stairs are definitely safer in some cases, especially when a building is on fire.
Babysitter, i hate US English, so i’m gonna take a dig at your English (not at you, don’t take his personally)- If you are BY a hotel, it means you are standing next to it, BY it. If you are IN a hotel, you are actually inside the building… its the same with making a ticket, please people, you BOOK a ticket, u don’t make one, do u cut down trees, pulverize them and flatten them into paper and do everything else that goes into making a ticket, no, you just go online and press a few keys…
Also every place that has an elevator must have stairs for safety purposes cos its dangerous to use an elevator during a fire (these things are good to know for the purpose of living a safe existence).
Wow threat to your virginity, its nice to see there are some of you left. Anyway Atlanta is a really sketchy town, I went riding around downtown once with my buddy and we were asked at least 10 times for bus money or “my car broke down” money- you know the dude carries an empty gas tank around scenario- not sure if in Aus they have that.
Yeah, even the hotel workers seemed sleazy, like winking at me and whistling and stuff, and i went next door to a gas station and the guy is like ‘i got whatcha want, i got whatcha need baby’…
Nah we don’t have people like that in Aust, but we have people who need money to ‘buy a coffee’, aka druggies, so same sort of thing.
Hey Hesh, stop giving away my identity, people are gonna come and stalk me down for being so blunt on your blog :p