Chanukah Pickup Lines

Despite the fact that I’ve been through two very long cooking marathons in which I made and fried up close to 500 latkes, Chanukah just crept up on me this year. I just can’t get used winter without snow and cold and therefore my calendar is pretty much always set on spring. So naturally I fall back on corny posts filled with sexual innuendo about Chanukah. Thanks to all those who participated on Facebook.

For picking up girls:

Don’t worry babe, my dreidle is not made out of clay

I can go longer than those shabbos chanukah candles

Ever play strip dreidle

That aint gelt I’m swinging around in my pocket

I’ll turn on my menorah if I could put a wick in your oil

It’s not the size of the dreidle it’s how you spin it

Hot oil rubs are a mitzvah on chanukah

I’d love to dip my latkes in your apple sauce

I’ll make you explode like the first bite of a jelly donut

I’d love to defile your temple

Wow I’d love to grab that Antiochus of yours

Come on baby light my fire…

For picking up guys:

Relax, I won’t be cutting your head off tonight

If you’ve got the jelly, I’ve got a donut you can fill

I’d love to see your sword

Wanna play with my dreidels

I’ve got plenty of gelt to go around

Let’s try and do it for 8 nights

I just want to undue your gelt

I love how shapely your Antiochus is

If your parents walk in we can pretend we were playing dreidel

Is that a Maccabean Sword in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I’d love to take a look at your shamash

I’d love to take your dreidel for a spin