There are some pretty disgusting things that go on yeshivas, but what else do you expect when you throw a bunch of ill mannered frum guys who never learn how to clean up after themselves into a yeshiva dorm together? This post isn’t even about the guys who’s rooms smelled so bad, that no artificial aerosol stuff could have saved them. This post isn’t even about the folks who left their soiled JC penny underwear ads behind the toilets, this is about some generic items that I’m sure exist in most yeshivas and that most folks who spent any time there could find reason to smile about. Everyone else will find it educational.
Tissue Boxes: In my yeshivia they had their white tissue boxes with pictures of mountains on them. Unlike normal people, yeshiva guys decided that whenever a tissue box was empty, they wouldn;t throw it out, they would fill it up with as many used tissues as possible – spreading disease throughout the yeshiva. Some guys would also tear off pieces of tissue boxes for scrap paper and when the box finally on it’s last throes, someone would pause mid thumb dip and throw away the box and then steal some other tables box while one of the beis medrish guys turned around or something.
The never ending towel: I have fond memories of the never ending towel that was installed outside of the downstairs bathrooms in the Rochester yeshiva. The never ending towel was blue and as you guessed it never ended, you just rolled it out and for some reason it kept going like a long rug being pulled out from a wall. The problem was, that the yeshiva was too cheap to install a proper never ending towel, so like most yeshivas the towel eventually became quite wet, dragged on the floor in the urine tracked shoe marks and became one big blue soiled, over used, germ filled wash cloth. The never ending towel never seemed to function as it was supposed to and I myself never used the darned thing.
Mayim Achronim: I have no idea why yeshivas can’t afford to splurge on something a bit nicer than two plastic cups for mayim achronim, but they don’t and when the two cups, one containing a used fork or spoon, roll around it’s gross enough to make you puke in your mouth.For some reason, the mayim achronim appointee is always some douche bag who takes a cup that’s already dirty as hell and makes that the mayim achronim receptacle, why they need to add a spoon to it is beyond me most of the time.
George Foreman Grills: Yeshiva guys never really cooked, all they really did was use sandwich makers, crock pots and George Foreman grills. Naturally, these items were seldom cleaned, nor were the areas where they used them clean and after a while these machines became quite encrusted with nastiness. It is possible that some of them had taken the philosophy on cleaning woks, that you never use soap because you want the flavors to remain in the wok.
Soooooo True!
Haven’t seen a never-ending towel since the 70s at the Vince Lombardi rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike. Didn’t know the stll made them!
in one yeshiva i went to they took the toilets out of the bathrooms and installed shower heads. and this was in the actual yeshiva, so we had to walk from the dorm to the yeshiva to take a shower.
You missed the best thing; yeshiva with their own mikvas! They never get cleaned! There was once a pedophile who showed up in our yeshivas mikva, he sat there unclothed just looking at guys, asked a kid if he wants his back rubbed.
The worst was once a group of mea shearim type dudes stayed down the road from our yeshiva, they used our mikva before we got there. When we came, someone had taken a cr@p in the water! the worst part of it was that those dudes were just going in and batting it away with their hands! It was bloody traumatizing!
Haven’t laughed that hard in a while…great story
My yeshiva had a mikva too. I was down there maybe two or three times, just to look at it. The water was always brown and disgusting and the smell….ooof.
Can anyone actually use this mikva and consider themselves tahor?
Omg I have such fond memories of those tissue boxes. Sometimes during seder you’re thinking about something and looking for a tissue, and with your normal vigilance down, you stick your hand into one of those ‘refilled’ boxes. Ugggh! Nasty!
Plus nobody wanted to throw them out after a while because they were filled with Torah notes as well.
Dreadlocks- that’s an awesome story
Easy for others to say its awesome. Im traumatized! It just adds one more thing to be afraid of when going to mikva. For the non believers of the story, there are pictures to prove it! when they all left, one of the guys snapped some pics of it. Pretty nasty, but something he’ll laugh @ down the line. The administrator was so pissed, it meant he finally had to change the water!
Dan l’chaf zchut… maybe it wasn’t what it seemed, could have been a baby seal or a mink.
you should try out the dushinsky’s mikvah on rechov shmuel hanavi in Jerusalem-its the most beautiful mikvah that Ive ever been to, cost a lot too
Seminary story-
You leave your towel hanging on a hook in the Shower, it is mysteriously soaking wet every time you go to use it
You take it into your room, still mysteriously wet all the time
Finally you hide it in your closet because you’ve started finding hairs that aren’t yours… AND EVERYTHING MOLDS!
ive heard of worse. the bochorim who dormed in the main building of the mir told me that there was an older Israeli bochor who after taking a shower would take the towel off the pin and wrap it around himself (these towels were made up of 3 or 4 large hand towels of which the ends were sewn together to make one huge towel that would go around/over a metal tube which was held up by brackets.)
now the main building has a lot of people using its bathrooms at all times during the day, and most of them wipe their hands in those towels-so you can imagine what they look like. i, and many others would never wipe our hands in those towels for that very reason-hygine
My elementary school had those nasty towels.
why they need to add a spoon to it is beyond me
To show whick cup is the receptacle
Re: Never ending towels, I believe we used to refer to them as the hepatitis towels…
When I was in high school in Brooklyn from 1978-82, I had some other pet peeves about yeshiva life.
1) We didn’t have a neverending towel dispenser; instead, we had the metal boxes that dispensed these rough brown paper towels that were just slightly smoother than sandpaper. I understand that it was probably supplied to the school for free or at very low cost, but try blowing your nose into one of those things.
2) We didn’t have regular size toilet paper either – we had these tiny dispensers that issued a doily-like piece of white tissue paper. What genius thought of this?
3) Yeshiva “food” – heh. Breakfast was usually either rye bread with butter and milk in those 1/2 pint containers or industrial grade corn flakes. Lunch was essentially a choice of side dishes -corn, mashed potatoes, salad, et al. Mishmar supper (2x per week) was some fleishig thing smothered in oil. Yuck.
4) The dorms were always damp – who knows how much mold and mildew lived in those walls.
Looking back, I can’t believe I survived those years.