Tag: family

Classic joke · No. 5108

The three bears Levine

It's a lovely hot, sunny morning in the forest where the bear family Levine live. There was mummy bear Rifka, daddy bear Shlomo and…

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Classic joke · No. 5109

The tenth baby

Ruth has just given birth to her tenth child in Edgware hospital. "Congratulations," said the nurse, "but don't you think this is enough of…

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Classic joke · No. 5111

The prisoner

Solly is serving time in Holloway prison for a securities fraud. Even so, he is still loved by his father Maurice. One day, Maurice…

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Classic joke · No. 5124

Valium and birth control

Yetta, a friend of mine, confused her Valium pills with her birth control pills. As a result, she had ten children but she doesn't…

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Classic joke · No. 5207

Mixed up

Hyman is 25 and leads the most over-examined life you can imagine. Each day, he spends his time thinking about those he met that…

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Classic joke · No. 4392

Three rabbis compare notes

The three rabbis in town, from the Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform shuls, met after Shabbes across America to discuss the results. The Reform Rabbi…

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Classic joke · No. 4395

How a Jewish woman calls the family to dinner

Q. How does a Jewish woman call her family to dinner? A. All right, everybody get in the car.

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Classic joke · No. 4398

When does the fetus become human?

Q. In the Jewish doctrine, when does the fetus become human? A. When it graduates from medical school.

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Classic joke · No. 4406

The rabbi and the soap maker

A rabbi and a soap maker went for a walk together. The soap maker said, "What good is religion? Look at all the trouble…

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Classic joke · No. 4445

Bar mitzvah lessons

Schwartz was active in a number of community organizations but had never joined a synagog. One day, Rabbi Diamond decided to pay a call…

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Classic joke · No. 4456

Predicting a career

A woman went to her rabbi. She wanted to know how she could tell what her son would be come when he grew up."…

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Classic joke · No. 4480

The Jewish marksman

A Jew was conscripted into the Russian army. He practiced diligently, and became an expert marksman. When his unit went into battle, his commanding…

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Classic joke · No. 4518

The Jewish girl’s SATs

Q: What did the Jewish girl get on her S.A.T.'s? A: Nail polish.

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Classic joke · No. 4521

The minefield conversions

A Palestinian family wanted to get ahead in life and came to the decision that to do so, they had to convert to Judaism.…

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Classic joke · No. 4548

The Queen’s English

Abe ran a thriving business and was very wealthy. Many of his customers were gentiles and he was therefore, proud of his success but…

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Classic joke · No. 4552

My son the doctor

Every week, a little old lady sent $1,000 in the mail to the Temple. It went on for weeks until the Rabbi, overcome with…

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Classic joke · No. 4567

At the manger

Joseph and Mary placed the newborn Jesus in the manger and all the barnyard animals gathered around to admire the baby. Although it's not…

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Classic joke · No. 4614

Playground insults

Q. How does a Jewish kid verbally abuse his playmates? A. "Nyah Nyah, Your Mother pays retail."

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Classic joke · No. 4620

Winter sports

Little Moishe Shwartz and his dad went up to Colorado for the winter sports. "Pops," said Moishe, "Do you like skating?" "Of course I…

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Classic joke · No. 4622

Baby Shloimy

It's the year 2020. Young Mrs. Schwartz has just given birth to a bouncing baby boy. "So what did she name him?" "Shloimy." "SHLOIMY?…

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Classic joke · No. 4624

Mabel and Becky catch up

Two Jewish mothers meet in the street, after not having seen each other for many years, and, naturally, Mabel asks Becky about her three…

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Classic joke · No. 4628

The Southern wedding

Yussel met a nice Jewish girl down South and one thing led to another and they decided to get married. Both families were pleased.…

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Classic joke · No. 4629

Personal ad: self-made man

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me.

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Classic joke · No. 4634

Two proud mothers

Two Jewish ladies met on the street, and discussed their successful sons. One said that her son was a doctor, and saved lives and…

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