The High Cost of Being Jewish
By Richard Lederman author of the Religious Humanist blog
Serious Jewish journalism consistently laments the high cost of being Jewish. So why is being Jewish such a financial bust?
‘Cause it has to be! It’s God’s will. It says so in the Torah. Take, for example, the command, “You shall not boil a kid in its mother’s milk.” This command is given three times in the Torah in three different contexts, which, in and of itself, is rather remarkable. In none of these contexts is it clear what this verse means. It is in the context of eating only once. But what does it mean? Why would a person boil their kid in its mother’s milk? I know that mothers might think of strangling their kid, or tearing the kid’s tongue out, or sending the kid to her room without supper. But boiling her in her own milk. Why, by the time you want to murder your kid, you’re not even lactating anymore.
No, of course it doesn’t mean a real human kid. It’s just a little baby goat. But why would you boil it in its mother’s milk? Besides, why not boil it in its mother’s milk? Can you boil the kid in some other mother’s milk? Can you boil the kid in cow’s milk? Donkey milk? Camel milk?
Well, who knows what it means, but we sure wouldn’t want to violate this principle. It is, after all, God’s commandment. So let’s just not boil any kids in anything. Calves and fawns can be boiled, but not kids. That’ll work, no? We’ll roast kids, bake them, sauté them in olive oil, but no boiling. That way, we can be sure to avoid violating this principle.
But no! That wasn’t good enough. How about just not boiling any meat in any milk of any kind. Nope. Not good enough! The best way to avoid violating this divine commandment is to keep the eating of meat and milk separate. If you’re eating meat, don’t drink milk with it. In fact, don’t eat or drink any milk product with meat. That way, you can surely avoid violating God’s Torah.
Phew! I’m glad we solved that. Just don’t mix the eating of meat with milk products and you can maintain your covenant obligation to God. But wait. Wait!!! What does it mean to eat these things “together”? Does it mean putting these things into my mouth at the same time? What if I take a bite of meat, swallow it, then take a swig of milk—or vice-versa? Well, I really should wait in between these two categories of foods just to be sure to avoid boiling a kid in its mother’s milk.
OK. Another problem solved. But wait. Wait! What if I’m eating meat from a plate that had milk on it? I might be boiling a kid in its mother’s milk. You never know about these things. It could be that the milk on the plate came from the mother of the animal that I’m eating on the plate. And the hot meat could get the residual milk on the plate to boiling and I would be boiling a kid in its mother’s milk, violating a Torah principle. You never know! Now let’s get serious here. Please don’t bother me with details like maybe I only drink cow’s milk and I’m eating a lamb chop, or a piece of chicken!
Chicken? Yeah, what about chicken? The Torah doesn’t say you can’t boil a chicken in its mother’s milk. Chickens don’t give milk you say? Details! It might look like it comes from an animal that gives milk and it might look like it comes from an animal whose mother might have provided the milk that was on the plate before you started eating the chicken and people might think you’re boiling a kid in its mother’s milk, so forget it. Get that chicken off that plate.
In fact, get flesh of all animals off that plate to avoid even the appearance of having boiled a kid in its mother’s milk—meat poultry, fish! Fish? What about fish? Can you boil a tuna in its mother’s milk? Don’t be silly! Fish don’t give milk. Besides, who would ever confuse a tuna steak with a rib eye steak. They look nothing alike. Not like a chicken drumstick and a lamb chop. I see how you might confuse those two things. So fish are neutral. They’re not really meat. Fish is a vegetable.
OK. I think we’ve solved the problem. The Torah says don’t boil a kid in its mother’s milk. I wouldn’t want to violate my Torah obligations, so I won’t eat meat with any kind of dairy product. Indeed, I’ll make sure I wait a certain period of time between these two types of products. I’ll even have two sets of dishes, a costly commitment in itself, so that the residual milk on a plate which may be from the animal whose meat I’m now eating even if the meat is lamb and the milk is cow’s milk that might come to a boil from the hot lamb on my plate but if it’s not lamb but beef it could get the milk to boiling even though it’s not a kid in its mother’s goat milk but you can never be too careful when it comes to observing mitzvahs. I’ll even be extra sure by counting fowl as meat so no one gets confused, but fish is a vegetable.
But wait. WAIT!!! The problem is not quite solved. What if I put my meat plate in the dishwasher and there’s some residual milk left over from a dairy meal. And what if the milk is cow’s milk and the meat dish held beef and the milk is from the mother of the animal that provided the beef and the dishwasher heats up and gets the residual milk to boiling, which mixes with the residual beef. Then I could be boiling a kid—OK, well not a kid, exactly, but something like a kid—in its mother’s milk. I’ll definitely want to avoid this. No problem. I’ll have two dishwashers… and two sinks, refrigerators, sets of counter—in other words, two kitchens.
So why is it so costly to be Jewish?
Richard C. Lederman Ph.D. is the author of the Religious Humanist blog, this is his first guest post. I don’t know much else because this is the first email I’ve gotten from him.
Darn Hesh. I thought it would be a nice rant on all the overpriced stuff in the kosher food market.
I thought it was going to be a very critical article on the state of conversion in Judaism and tackle political establishments such as the RCA.
I was waiting for the paragraph that discussed waiting 1 hour, 3 hours, 6 hours, INTO the 6th hour, etc.
well i was waiting for the humor, if his doctorate is in comedy its probably from university of phoenix
> …It’s just a little baby goat. But why would you boil it in its mother’s milk?
Because that was a common way of preparing sacrifices to fertility goddesses in the ANE, and the chumash, in keeping with its dislike of pagan worship practices, is telling us not to do that.
This guy is just mocking commitment to Torah, whether he says it openly or with sarcastic subtleties. He’s “Humanist religious,” but he doesn’t spare deriding Jewish observance. Ironically he would only talk like this because he is (aparently) Jewish, whereas it would not be keeping with his “humanist” values to criticize other religions like bhudism, Islam, etc.
Where’s the joke? I don’t mind criticisms of Judaism but on a satire blog, I expect it to at least be somewhat funny. Not only that, but this guy seems to have no idea what he’s talking about. By the end of the post I was just yelling aloud, “Ta’am kikar!”
Ah, but there’s still more.
What about pigeons?
Mother pigeons secrete “crop milk” on which they feed their young. It is very similar to mammalian milk. It’s even controlled by the same hormones mammals use. But it comes from the crop instead of mammary glands, and it’s more a suspension than an emulsion.
First we need to determine the exact halachic status of crop milk and decide whether any pigeon is forbidden or only a the pigeon who is the mother of the one you plan on eating….
Being shomer mitzvoth isn’t that expensive. Being frum – that’s expensive. Using kashruth as an example, one wonders how people ate before the advent of kashruth agencies. I mean, if it doesn’t have a hechsher its not kosher, right?
The upshot of kashruth agencies is that someone else, whose halachic opinion you may or may not agree with if you actually sat down and had a conversation with you, did the research for you. Its quick, convenient, and saves you time and effort.
The downside is that these agencies need to keep the lights on and have a vested interest in taking any and every humra they can find in order to get their mark on as many products as possible. For them, chumroth = revenue. Its a glaring conflict of interests.
A great many products that have supervision simply don’t need it. I’ve had ravs in Hassidic communities tell me canned veggies, plain flour pastas, and even slurpees don’t need a hechsher. The list continues. You can eat a lot without hechshers if you are willing to take responsibility for yourself.
For instance, I’m not sure, aside from being strict about bishul yisrael, why we would have any concern over vegan certified products. The companies that produce them have a vested economic interest in ensuring their products are 100% vegan.
Their clientele watches them like hawks and they are relying on their good reputation (like the gentile chef rabbi yohanan was willing to rely on in hullin even if we won’t today), as well as fear of the government who could prosecute them for fraud if they mislabel their products.
The same goes for companies that make vegetarian cheeses who eschew animal rennet. They have a vested economic interest in being honest. Even if they did use animal rennet, several gedolim of the 20th century pointed out that the rennet used today is powdered and becomes inedible (and no longer traif) in the refining process.
So, if they make both, whatever residue from the powdered animal rennet cheese will be incidental (and most run boiling water between such runs to keep the crazy vegans happy!) – and isn’t a problem from the outset, anyways. I went to the Tillamook plant and talked to them and watched them do it!
Its true, they do have some shellfish in the plant (as an ice-cream ingredient), but they only use it in separate runs and effectively kasher the keilim before and after because its an allergen and they don’t want wrongful death lawsuits. Oh, wait, there is that vested economic interest, again.
The only difference with their “kosher cheese runs” is that there is an incidental rabbi standing there. Nothing else changes. Their non-hechshered cheese may not be freim, but it is undoubtedly kosher. Commercial cheese isn’t made in animal stomachs anymore, folks. In other words, Rabbeinu Tam – who had a different take on the gazeira of gavinat akum – wasn’t “freim” enough for us.
The same goes for yogurt, esp. most “organic” brands. Contrary to what most kashruth agencies say, most brands do *not* use animal rennet. The majority of them use algar or pectin, which both come from plants. They, too, are being watched like hawks by their customers. Just pick the container up and read it. If you aren’t sure, call and ask them. If there is no animal rennet it shouldn’t be any different than milk.
If you want to keep cholav Israel, go for it. But admit its a chumro. Just like pat Israel – who in the previous generations went in for that mishegas? – is a just chumro. Glatt is also a chumro that has become the norm. The non-glatt meat is still kosher, even if sniffing at it makes you feel better. I do love those glatt chicken stickers… being freim *is* really expensive.
The simple message is: It’s a racket.
Sometimes it gets really bizarre. I’ve seen heschers on cold-rolled steel barstock.