I was chilling with my buddy in the East Bay who is converting when I thought of this post. We were talking about the taking of the blood and I thought that Gerim must cringe when they hear about metzitzas b’peh. I realized that metzitzas b’peh must look pretty weird for anyone who didn’t know what was going down and I thought of this whole series of Stuff different Jewish Sects like based on that one thought. Being that I am not a ger, I sought out some of my diehard convert fans to help me with this post and I figured that since I really have no idea what I’m talking about the converts could add stuff they like or don’t like in the comments section.
Stuff Gerim Like:
- Making the minyan
- Getting invited to the Rabbis house
- Israel
- Dreaming about their dunk
- Picking out really Jewy Hebrew names
- Remind Jews from birth that Ruth, Jethro, and Abraham Avinu, were converts
- Trying to blend in
- Talking Theology – explaining the new testament to frummies
- When someone can’t figure out they are a ger
- Being frummer than everyone else
- Chamtzas all around the house
- To say things like before I was Jewish I ate?
- Make friends with strange looking Jews that have super long peyos
- Carlebach, Chassidus and Kabbalah
- Holocaust movies and anything else related to the Holocaust
- Jewish Holidays
- Reminding everyone that Moshiach will descend from Ruth the convert
- Saying Baruch Hashem all the time
- Sing xmas songs, unconsciously
- Peeking over people’s shoulders to see where they are supposed to be in the siddur.
- Flipping to the back of the siddur for transliterations when they’re singing too fast to keep up with the Hebrew
- Excessive ritual hand washings
- Being able to speak knowledgeably about a certain topic… Unfortunately, it’s usually a goyish subject, such as: fashion, art, men’s cologne, treif food and restaurants, drugs, mafia, porn, etc.
- Practicing the rasping ‘ch’ sound before any attempts to speak in public
- Hearing that even the rabbi’s mother couldn’t believe you weren’t born Jewish, that she thought you were Israeli “at least”
- Getting rid of the TV because the price of cable was getting too expensive anyway
Stuff Gerim Don’t like:
- Making Mi Sheberachs for people with names like Bob ben Tanya
- Admitting they are converts
- Being in a minyan with exactly ten men.
- Metzitzas b’peh
- Getting a bris
- Shuls that daven quickly
- People seeing their tattoos
- Getting set up with Kohanim
- Paying ridiculous amounts for schooling far inferior to which they’re used.
- Having to convert again
- The law of return debate
- Telling gentiles they converted
- The word Goy
- Having someone at the Shabbos table say they’d never let their son marry a ger, not knowing they’re sitting right next to one
- Having to repeatedly explain to Mom that no, I can’t eat that at your house even though you did go through all the trouble of buying kosher products
- Having old high school friends ask you what you’ve been up to lately and being able to hear their smile disappear over the phone as you tell them
- Talking about their past lives or telling their story
This one was kind of sad. I loved all the others though.
Very true. I definitely don’t think you can say all of these for every convert and many of them aren’t true to my experience but reading along, I thought of all the converts (and BTs) I’ve come across and I found myself laughing.
I would add:
Like:
Gefilte fish and other Ashkenazi Jewish foods (many Jews are appalled that I like me some GF).
Jewish customs that seem crazy even to born Jews.
Talking about our personal relationship with G-d.
Bridging the gaps between Jews and Jews and Jews and non-Jews.
Trading Christmas and Easter for an endless amount of Jewish holidays.
JUDAISM.
Jews.
Being criticized and treated like children when someone thinks we’re “not acting Jewish” and says as much to our faces.
People who appreciate how hard it was to make the decision we made to convert, especially when we lose family members and friends because of it.
Teaching people, Jewish or not, about the wonders of Judaism.
Do not like:
Being called a shiksa, shaygetz or shvartzah.
Worrying their conversion could be revoked at any time by some crazy rabbi.
Frumster which recently listed convert as an “ethnicity,” apparently they don’t have a dictionary.
Being asked to perform their stories at the Shabbos table in front of a bunch of strangers.
Finding out that we have been victims of the CIA, Conversion.
Intelligence Agency that tracks our movements and progress in an attempt to disprove our commitment to Judaism.
Finding out that friends, family and even strangers have “looked up” to make sure out conversion are “kosher” just for fun.
Being told to do something Jewish because “that’s the way my grandmother did it.”
Being told they should give up friends and family from their previous life.
Having their previous life used as entertainment at the Shabbos table.
Learning that people refer to them as “the convert.”
Being asked constantly if they are a convert.
I’ll add to one of yours: Having to convert again, again and again and again.
Being told by random Christians (even in the airport bathroom!) that we are “definitely going to hell” because we converted.
People told we’re not Jewish enough by Jews and too Jewish by non-Jews.
Sorry for the grammatical and punctuation errors. This former English teacher is horrified at herself. To clarify, the last one should read: Being told we’re not Jewish enough by Jews and too Jewish by non-Jews.
Wait, but isn’t converting three times (and having had three circumcisions [at birth and for the Conservative and Orthodox conversions]) the heart of Yisrael Campbell’s act?
Also, you like this?
Heshy you missed the most important thing that gerim get, making Jewish jokes. Even Sienfeld did a show on it.
Yeah, that’s about right.
Another thing Gerim don’t like,
Being told that they will never be real Jews, or that they will never understand everything because they’re a convert.
only one person ever said that to me. i offered them a judo lesson and they shut up.
nobody ever said shit like that again.
The day I got out of the mikvah and was calling friends and getting congratulated, someone said, “But I’m still more Jewish than you right because I was born Jewish?”
back story: i was adopted and at 3 days i had my conversion by an orthodox rabbi in denver.
i was told by 2 “important educated people” my conversion wasn’t valid because the rabbi now is conservative. considering we are talking about 2 different rabbis, i had the son (also a rabbi) of the orthodox rabbi come to israel and verify my conversion papers.
Geirim also like great Rabbis.
From my experience geirim like what big rabbis say.
Not so much here.
Really, from my perspective the more spiritual and religious a rabbi is, i.e., Reb Moshe Feinstein, Reb Yaakov Kaminitsky and both their sons – the more in tune he is to compassion, empathy and derech eretz. And “religious” rabbis and “frum” Jews are often a chillul HaShem.
Very true! Gerim also don’t like playing Jewish geography!
..and mishpochology…
You’re wrong! I’m the best Jewish geography player I know! It’s not hard to join the game if you’re the least bit social.
Well I must not be “the least bit social”…which is ok by me 🙂 .
So many friends of mine have moved all over the country and the world and now I can turn it around on people, do you know…X and X in this city? And yes, even when they don’t know them I don’t just walk out of the conversation. Rude, much?
I love Jewish geography when I can score plenty of points “even” though I’m a JBC! Makes me feel like a true MOT. The secret is to get to know Jews outside your own community. Try getting involved in pan-Jewish groups and events like Limmud and soon you’ll be playing a great game of Jewish geography.
Yeah I laughed kinda hard at most. Very true.
most of that is true but ya k ow they ask me what page we re on and I do plenty fine w Jewish G
exactly ten men! ha!
yes, that sums it up quite well.
PS: i just got rid of my TV because cable was too expensive anyway…
why can’t they eat kosher products at their parent’s house?
Bishul akum — food cooked by a non-jew is not OK.
Also, mother would not have kosher pots and pans, just kosher food.
This obviously doesn’t apply to stuff like granola bars, but how many mothers invite their kids over to eat granola bars and chips? No, moms want to cook a full meal.
But if the food is already cooked it can be reheated if double wrapped. If it is cold food it can be eaten using things like plastic knives for cutting (cheese, fruit, chips, crackers).
Not all foods are bishul akum.
I keep 2 boxes of cooking things in my mom’s garage which solves the “no kosher pots & pans”.
And some mom’s and families are ok with doing things like enteman’s baked goods or snacks or even frozen kosher meals.
I have sealed boxes of kosher dishes in garages in Washington, California and Hawaii when I visit my family. Unlike Kinky Friedman says, it’s not all that hard to keep kosher on the road.
“Bishul akum” can be avoided if a Jew performs one vital part of the cooking process – that’s why the mashgichim always turn the ovens on for the non-jews to use at restaurants, factories, etc. There are lots of ways you can solve this if you are willing to try. how about coming over and hanging out with Mom in the kitchen, helping her out? I had a wonderful, fully kosher Thanksgiving meal with my parents and everything was great!
“Talking Theology – explaining the new testament to frummies”
I sorta have a love/hate relationship with this… it can get desperately annoying sometimes.
“NONONO, but, I hear Paul was one of the Gospels?”
“No.”
“He must be!”
“No.”
“Who is he, then? He must have written the Gospels!”
“No. Four people wrote the Gospels, none of whom are Paul.”
“FOUR PEOPLE? FOUR PEOPLE? Why do you need four people…!! But one of them must be Paul, nu?”
“No, Paul never met Mr. Crucifixion except in a vision after said crucifixion. No Gospel, only letters that dictate theology to either a set of churches, or to one church in particular.”
“Nono, but he must have discussed Jesus’ life!”
“Nooooooooot really.”
“But why four people? Don’t they all have slightly different stories?” “Yes, slightly different stories. Why four? More people sounds more trustworthy, and they were all thought to have been divinely inspired.”
“But they’re not Paul?”
“No, Mark, Matthew, Luke, John.”
“Not Paul? You sure?”
“Dude, I’m in Biblical studies and I have to discuss this stuff from time to time. I’m sure.”
“But that’s avodah zara!”
[want to say: “THEN WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME ABOUT THIS?”] [actually say: “I focus on Jewish texts, not Christian ones.”]
Haaa ha ha ha….ooooo yes. I soooo relate to this. I have HAD this conversation.
Sad, true, funny.
Converts it when JBB asks them how to do a certain ritual/mitzvah or have to tell them when is the next Chag will be, or worse, when they have to ask a Ger when is Yom Kippur.
Dislike: Having Jews assume we converted yesterday and don’t know anything about Judaism and being treated like dummies.
Like: When we can be honest with people about what we do and do not know or understand without worrying our conversions will be revoked.
Having their conversions retroactively annulled, 20 years later and having all their children declared goyim.
NOT.
+ Having to tell my shul book group one of the meetings is scheduled for Rosh Hashanah
– “Excuse me, but how exactly are you Jewish?”
Being asked after someone sees us wash, say blessings and eat an entire Shabbos meal: “Excuse me, but are you really Jewish?”
That’s a dislike by the way.
I think the whole retroactive annulment thing has to be a ger’s worst nightmare. It used to be that once you go through the mikveh, there was almost nothing you could do to undo the conversion.
Recently, this has changed. I heard of one woman whose conversion was annulled because she occasionally wore pants and did not have her hair covered when she was visiting non-Jewish areas.
So if you’re looking to convert, make sure you take a good look at your matrilineal ancestry. You may discover, as I did, that you were born halachically Jewish and didn’t know it.
Person A grows up in a non-Jewish environment, learns that his mother’s mother’s mother was born Jewish – welcome back, you’re Jewish. Person B spends years studying, goes through the whole halachic process and lives as a Jew for years, and suddenly Puff! conversion annulled, you’re not Jewish. How WEIRD is that?
Rabbinical Magick!
ugh. it’s seriously shameful. i feel so sorry for people to whom this has happened. it’s morally wrong on so many levels.
I discovered that my maternal great-great-grandmother was jewish.
So I thought it was “Welcome back, you’re jewish”.
So I started learning, keeping Mitzwoth, tutti quanti.
Guess what people tell me, after I went through the whole mess?
You are not jewish.
We do not believe you you are jewish
You look like a Goye
She almost acts as if she were jewish…
You are not jewish enough to marry xyz
But your name does not sound jewish
Where were your parents during the war?
So, believe you me: The scope of “welcome back” is very limited.
Yeah, so is the scope of just plain “Welcome” sometimes. Especially for converts and BTs.
The “stuff….like” meme is getting stale, fast. I’ve been logging in, consequentially, a lot less frequently. Your traffic reports would probably confirm that others feel the same way.
wrong, many of us feel its the best stuff he’s had up here. Some are better than others but all in all – greatness
This series is great.
If I feel it to be getting stale I’ll stop – hence the less frequency of the posts, unfortunately my traffic reports say the stuff I like is insanely popular.
How about the stuff single middle aged bald jewish men like?
Should I have hurt feelings that I wasnt asked? 😉
OK here’s my responses:
Stuff Gerim Like:
Making the minyan
Yeah that feels good!
Israel
I was a zionist about 30 years before I became a Jew
Picking out really Jewy Hebrew names
Does Israel count?
Remind Jews from birth that Ruth, Jethro, and Abraham Avinu, were converts
Yep. Definitely true here.
When someone can’t figure out they are a ger
It is fun when I tell people that my wife and I converted together
To say things like before I was Jewish I ate…
Not so much fun, it makes some people really uncomfortable.
Reminding everyone that Moshiach will descend from Ruth the convert
Oh hell yeah!
Sing xmas songs, unconsciously
Only the ones written by Jews.
Peeking over people’s shoulders to see where they are supposed to be in the siddur.
FFBs do that too
Flipping to the back of the siddur for transliterations when they’re singing too fast to keep up with the Hebrew
Guilty as charged, but not so much a thing I like
Being able to speak knowledgeably about a certain topic. Unfortunately, it’s usually a goyish subject, such as: fashion, art, men’s cologne, treif food and restaurants, drugs, mafia, porn, etc.
But frummies often dont wanna hear about those things so I end up feeling really awkward
Practicing the rasping ‘ch’ sound before any attempts to speak in public
Ever see The Simpsons ep “Today I Am A Klown” where Krusty is warming up with cha chu cha cha chaaaaa?
Stuff Gerim Don’t like:
Admitting they are converts
Just fine with that
Being in a minyan with exactly ten men.
Uncomfortable when I’m not sure I’ll get counted yeah.
Getting a bris
How would you feel about a man you dont know holding a sharp knife to your penis?
Shuls that daven quickly
True. I’m only half way through the Amidah and they are finishing Aleinu
People seeing their tattoos
Yeah… I make a big point to keep em hidden
Having to convert again
Have not done that yet, may or may not do so. The idea does make me see red.
The law of return debate
Oh yeah.
Telling gentiles they converted
Dont bother me. My life is my business not theirs.
The word Goy
Call my mom that to my face and I’ll forget about klal yisrael real quick
Talking about their past lives or telling their story
Fine with that actually.
The word Goy – Actually, the Jews are referred to as “Goy kadosh”. But it’s all in how you say it; people are always saying that “schvartze” just means black, but the way they say it, it definitely means n—–.
Picking really Jewy Hebrew names – Yeah, and not getting stuck with names like Masha and Feivel!
“Remind Jews from birth that Ruth, Jethro, and Abraham Avinu, were converts”
Very, very true. I was talking with my brother and his girlfriend on Pesach about interesting Jewish names that nobody ever uses. I said, “How about Jethro?” I also like Yishmael (simply because of its meaning, and don’t forget Rabbi Yishmael!) and Menachem (for Begin).
Am I the only one who thinks of The Beverly Hillbillies when I hear the name Jethro? Not a very Jewish association… wouldn’t want my child to ever be compared to that character even in jest 🙂
Nah, I tend to think of meandering rock chords and flute solos. 🙂
Yep. Beverly Hillbillies all the way.
I’m a Dominican-American convert from Washington Heights (born and bred) and growing up, I met so many other Dominican-Americans and even just Dominicans who had the name Ishmael and Israel. The latter is a really popular Dominican name. And I have Catholic family members who have other Hebrew names!
Practicing the rasping ‘ch’ sound before any attempts to speak in public. awesome.
We should all have the enthusiasm of converts who see the truth in Hashems Torah and are not all messed with their Ytzer Haras yet to tear it down.
This is great! More dislikes…
“Oh, you’re not Jewish? Well. G-d created everyone so…” (then a look down like they didn’t want to admit that)
“Nice to meet you. What’s your family name?”
“Once you go Orthodox, you can’t have ANY fun. That’s it. You can’t do ANYthing.”
Lashon hara in shul. It hurts.
Talking or goofing around in shul when I’m trying to daven.
Reminding me that I’ll be held to a higher standard (that ANY mistake will make it like I never converted) yet trying to sway me from achieving it.
Labeling anything they don’t agree with as “liberal agenda!”
Another: Assuming that because I’m a ger, that I must be out having all sorts of immoral fun they’re not having when really, it’s the opposite.
Some guys I’ve very briefly dated or (very briefly) befriended tried to convince me that because I’m not yet Jewish, I should automatically be OK doing anything inappropriate. Apparently, I’m just a body here for their convenience.
Very true: over-conformity is held against you, non-conformity also.
Yeah, please add the phrase: “Shiksas are for practice” to dislike and “Having more knowledgeable Jews take advantage of us because we’re less knowledgeable.” I know too many female converts who have had “religious” men try to convince them that it was okay to do something that was totally not kosher.
Don’t get me wrong; I see a lot of beauty in Judaism. Sometimes, I find a lot of that beauty in solitude, connecting with the text, ritual and observing the lovely, complex details in the world around me.
You wrote: “Unfortunately, it’s usually a goyish subject, such as: fashion, art, men’s cologne, treif food and restaurants, drugs, mafia, porn, etc.”
There is stuff that converts know that Jews do not. Obviously, stuff like bacon and what it is like to be in a public swimming pool with girls. However, your list is not very good. Lots of Jewish people know fashion, I have an Orthodox Jewish friend and I make fun of him for being into fashion so much. As far as art is concerned I would say that non-Jews are not very interested in art, just like Jews are not interested in art. It is the same proportion. Men’s cologne is not a goyish subject! Jews are more into cologne than non-Jews are. I have six bottles of cologne at home!
Non-Jews do not do drugs. Sure some of them do but plently of them do not. Mostly college students who do that kind of stuff. You have a lot of frum Jews who also try marijuana when they are at college or yeshiva too. This is not a Jew or non-Jew issue, this is a rebellious teenager / young adult issue.
Mafia?! You have to explain how you arrived at that one.
As far as porn goes. Porn is like drugs. Porn is not a Jewish or non-Jewish issue. Almost everybody has seen porn at least once in their life! Just like masturbation. 99.99% of all boys have masturbated at least one point in their life and something like 98% or 99% of all boys continue to masturbate because it is almost impossible to stop. So many Jewish people watch porn. I have a lot of Jewish friends who tell me they watch porn. So I am not sure why you turn porn into a Yid vs Goy issue. [I watch porn too, but I am not frum, I have seen all kinds of porn. What is interesting about porn, I realized, is that if it two girls and one guy it is called “straight”, but if it is two guys and a girl it is called “bisexual”, haha].
This post is spot on!
please add:
Dislike:
Hearing why is that “schwartze” wearing tzitzit?
That’s f**ked up.
It takes a lot of courage to convert. Black converts are especailly courageous. We should go out of our way to make them feel welcome and comfortable.
Zvi – We should go out of our way to make them feel welcome and comfortable.
No. We should treat them like we treat any other Jew (and we should treat everyone well, of course). Ideally we shouldn’t even know (or have any reason to know after they are married for sure) if they are a convert.
Mark, your point is well taken, I didn’t mean we should treat geirim like charity cases or freaks, although the Torah goes out of its way to admosish us to love gerim because we were geirim in Rgypt. We should go out of our way not to make stupid and insensitive remarks like the ones I’ve seen in this comment thread. Some of them made me cringe.
LOL Gerim don’t cringe as easily as you think.
What Jew in the world doesn’t get insensitive remarks from their own families and community? No one really goes out of their way to make Jews feel comfortable anyway. If we aren’t recieving criticism, then we probably aren’t living.
You have a very healthy attitue. However, based on many of the ‘dislike’ comments on this thread submitted by Gerim, it seems a good deal of our proseltyte brothers and sisters don’t seem to have as thick as skin.
That’s true. Good to meet someone who doesn’t force Gerim to have a thick skin.
I get more of a hassle from Reform and Conservative Jews than Orthodox people. They make a point to remind me that I’m not as Jewish as they are, even when they are telling me things in the Torah aren’t necessary. They make me cringe quite a bit.
Wow that’s real chutzpa. That just shows that they are trying to convince themselves that they really are Jewish even though they don’t observe the Shulchan Aruch. Conservative and Reform Judaism is not a religion, it’s an ethnic club.
Conservative and Reform Judaism is not a religion, it?s an ethnic club.
This sort of foolishness bugs me more than any kinda thing I experience as a ger. The hating we get from non Jews sometimes pales compared to the hating between ourselves.
Conservative and Reform Judaism is not a religion, it’s an ethnic club.
This sort of foolishness bugs me more than any kinda thing I experience as a ger. The hating we get from non Jews sometimes pales compared to the hating between ourselves.
“Hearing that even the rabbi’s mother couldn’t believe you weren’t born Jewish, that she thought you were Israeli “at least””
LOL. There’s a guy I see at shul all the time and he looks Jewish but I recently found out he’s Italian and is thinking about converting to Judaism. Sometimes it’s really hard to tell with those things.
That’s because EVERYONE looks Jewish. In Israel, people told me I looked Israeli. In NYC, you have to look like Woody Allen to pass. People, even Jews, think all Jews are supposed to look a certain way. Usually this involves many Ashkenazi Jewish stereotypes. But I know black Jews who are Ashkenazi. And I know plenty of people who were born Jewish but don’t look like the prevailing stereotype. Jews come in all shapes and colors. I wish everyone would put this poster in the lobby of their synagogue: The Poster to buy
Good point! Another thing — I’ve spent some time in Europe, and I’m pretty confident in saying that in France, Spain, Italy and Portugal, about one out of ten to one out of five people look quite “Jewish” based on their facial features. The so-called Jewish nose is not Jewish at all — it’s seen in ethnic groups across the world. And most Jews I’ve known in my life don’t have even one of the stereotypical Jewish feature. Many Jews have such features, but I’d say a majority don’t have the nose, for example.
I dont see anyone who looks like my wife in that poster…
Definitely don’t like: When Jews look at your kids and say, “She/he looks like a little shiksa/ shaigetz!” like it’s some kind of compliment! I bet a lot of born Jews get that too, if their kids don’t look “typical”.
This list sux. You should’ve let me vet it first.
“metzitzas b’peh must look pretty weird for anyone who didn’t know what was going down”
interesting choice of words Hesh. was that intentional?
As the ultimate power convert, I have to say your “dislike” list is pretty incorrect.
I LOVE talking about conversion … especially because it baffles people who assume I’m frum from birth because I “pass” easily 🙂
And you left Rachav off that list of AWESOME converts.
There was once a recent convert who was called up for an aliyah. The gabbai asked him, “what’s your name and your father’s name?” The convert replied “I’m Peter and my father is Christopher.” The gabbai said, ” No, your Hebrew names.” the ger said “I didn’t get one yet.” The gabbai turned to the rabbi and said we cant call up Peter Ben Christopher.” The rabbi said “Just pick a name from the parsha.”
The gabbai turned around and called “Ya’amod Par Ben Bakar.”
Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses.
Haaa ha ha 🙂 I love it..
LOL!!!
FOR REAL! The “telling their story” part.
AND the “I’d never let my son marry a ger” thing, I usually only get this one after speaking ????? in my best Yemenite accent.
Another pet peeve, when FFB people say, “oh you used to not be Jewish before, so you know what it’s like to do X” — and “X” can be anything from “eat a cheeseburger” to “stumble naked through the streets of Vegas”, it’s like this assumed thing in the charedi that non-Jews have these wild, adventurous crazy lives…(but then again, maybe everything looks wild & crazy compared to Batei Ungarin, NY 11211).
and “X” can be anything from “eat a cheeseburger” to “stumble naked through the streets of Vegas”
I am crying I am laughing so hard. This is soooooo true.
“stumble naked through the streets of Vegas”
Does Austin count?
I second the being “too Jewish” bit. I’ve frequently had people in real life and on my blog say to me, “I don’t need a convert telling me how to be Jewish.”
The thing is, most of the time, I’m not “telling” anyone anything. My being, existence, habits, and observance are “too” Jewish and offensive to someone who isn’t frum or whatever.
Being a convert = fun!
So true. Add to dislike: “Being used and abused because of other people’s issues with their Judaism.”
AND THE WINE! Oh the mevushal/non-mevushal. Yes, that’s a big thing.
A dislike in my corner.
Wine is not problem for me. If they do not want me to touch it, I don’t.
Since I started going to Chabad instead of my former conservative place, I make a point not to open the bottles as a “just in case” and only pour for people I know are OK with me.
“I realized that metzitzas b’peh… anyone who didn’t know what was going down ” Freudian Slip?
purposeful pun
I was going to say wearing a Star of David – the picture you posted is the same star that I have. Someone once told me they can always spot gerim because they wear stars.
great post!
being a geirus – most of these are pretty true. i am definitely guilty of singing xmas carols all year long and my friends ask me about bacon and kraft mac n cheese!
my favorite is when cholov yisroel from birth ppl ask me what reces cups taste like – that’s priceless in my book.
nobody has ever guessed i’m a convert – i guess converting young has its advantages. but i love making ppl uncomfortable when they are badmouthing converts and i pop out of nowhere!
Likes:
Quoting Tehillim.
Using the yeshiva debate closed fist + pointing thumb scoop action.
Threatening to reveal my elbows if someone’s giving me grief.
Requesting that my face be blurred for modesty’s sake from any shul event pictures. We all had a good laugh!
Dislikes:
Chabad bashing!
Dislikes:
Having to always explain Jews to Christians, and Christians to Jews.
Listening to someone go on and on about how the Jews are so special without even realizing in the process they are insulting the majority of your family and friends who are still gentiles.
Talking about the entire concept of the “Jewish soul” with FFB Jews.
Having fond family memories about holidays like Christmas, and realizing that not only can’t your FFB friends relate, they actually want to explain how what you used to do was idolatry and you should be so glad you don’t do that anymore.
Not being able to share your family pictures with anyone in your new life because so many of them involve Santa, Christmas trees, the Easter Bunny, First Communion, or other things of this ilk.
Realizing that a lot of your cultural fables The Good Samaritan, The Prodigal Son) are absolutely meaningless to people in your new community.
Having people discount everything you know from life experience, and religious experience, because you “weren’t a Jew” when you learned those things.
Having non-observant Jews take everything you do as a personal affront even if you don’t EVER talk to them about religion, care what they do, or say a single thing to them about religion.
Missing those good Christmas movies like “A Christmas Carol” and not being able to share them with your husband because he spends all his time deconstructing what is WRONG with those films from a Jewish theological standpoint.
BIGGEST dislike:
Being handcuffed in what you believe, and what you say, and what you think because any hint that you might possibly disagree with someone means that you are actually NOT Jewish, or that your conversion might be invalid.
Which is really ironic. You’d think it would be “any hint that you disagree with someone and have a tendency to argue over everything means that you actually ARE Jewish”
Listening to someone go on and on about how the Jews are so special without even realizing in the process they are insulting the majority of your family and friends who are still gentiles.
Oh yeah, most definitely.
Talking about the entire concept of the “Jewish soul” with FFB Jews.
another bell ringer of mine.
Lets add to that: And, after you point out that they are being sensitive to your friends and family, hearing them tell you that “well you are not related to those people anymore anyway”.
don’t like: Being told by a Secular Jew that you’re being brainwashed by the frummies and you’re going to be made into a clone and have no more personality because they will stomp it out of you.
SORT OF TRUE
This is hilarious. i am a convert and it made my laugh out loud. you should add: converts like: hanging out with other converts and being the only woman in shul.
AHA! I’m often the only woman in shul, but I go to a breakaway shteeble in a city that doesn’t have many jews to begin with, so it’s a miracle when our shul makes minyan before the krias torah is about to start.
and yeah, I sorta like being the only woman in shul, it helps me avoid the painful jewish geography/gossip crapola.
“Dislike:
Hearing why is that “schwartze” wearing tzitzit?”
YES, totally DISLIKE,
any other BTs reading this and laughing???
What’s with this assumption that gerim grew up celebrating non-Jewish holidays? I and 80% of my convert friends grew up 100% JEWISH! One “convert” has a mother who had an ORTHODOX conversion, but in a place like Omaha where they hadn’t heard of the rabbi.
Going beyond “dislike”: People who think they are being helpful by trying to break up long-standing relationships and even marriages due to halachic mismatches. (Most recent story I heard: adopted guy knows he’s Jewish from birth, marries convert, has 4 kids, and then his birth parents contact him, and he discovers that he’s a kohein, and many people said he has to divorce his wife.)
Trying to figure out how to fill out the beit din paperwork that asks for “prior religion” when you have lived your entire life as a Jew.
Trying to satisfy rabbis who won’t consider converting you until you agree that in theory you could practice Islam or Catholicism.
Rabbis who ask to hear your entire sexual history, even when they agree it has no bearing on your suitability for conversion.
Rabbis who ask others for gossip about you, and are successful.
Conversion-induced major depression.
Discovering that your despair and depression makes you a BETTER conversion candidate.
Being pressured into conforming to standards that none of even the most Orthodox of your friends meet, and still being seen as inadequate.
Dislike: When Jews expect me to know about Christian stuff. I know very little about Christian theology or ritual because I grew up in a non-religious family that essentially celebrated Christmas and Easter as secular holidays. My total religious education was one year of Sunday school at a Presbyterian church when I was 8 years old. It would be even more annoying if my family did not practice any kind of Christianity, which given that I am ethnically Chinese could well be the case.
I hear you. Most of what I know about Christianity, I actually learned after my conversion. The first time I saw people with palm branches on the subway, on Palm Sunday, I wondered what kind of people celebrate Sukkos in the spring.
Right on! I agree with everyone’s comments and am glad to see others with the same issues as me. Here are a couple of mine:
Like+Dislike: *My mother loudly declaring to people that I’m Jewish because I know she’s just trying to make me squirm. But it doesn’t!
Like: *Finally understanding why I’ve acted and felt the way I have for 29 years.
*Listening to my daughter make a brucha.
*The peace and joy of Shabbat.
Dislike: *Having a crowd of people stare at us and whisper when we go to a UJC event.
*Explaining to people why I can’t eat in their homes or just pick the bacon or cheese off the meat.
*Having FFB Jews ask me “why?” with shocked looks on their faces whenever I tell them I converted.
*Being told that not all Jews are as observant, so I should loosen up.
stuff gerim don’t like:
this post.
Cant say i mind the term Goy as i use it at least 20 times a day. I never opt for tellling some one I am a Ger but it really never comes up most people think I am ffb, but I do hate mishpacha-ology… Hate is an understatement…
good post heshy, much of it is spot on..
Eve has some real problems, Nu? pineing for the old days looking back like lots wife, and cant even watch a movie of one of the best storys ever…. Dickens is STILL one of my favorite writers of all time, I have everything he ever wrote including a christmas carol hell im reading Nickolas Nickleby right now… He unlike much of england of his generation recanted his antisemitic wrtitings after oliver twist came out, and I must say to his credit- he wrote much more about scandlous christian villians than he ever did about any jewish ones…
I have one thing to add to the likes-
Likes to debate with christian missionaries trying to convert them. its really fun to pull out why yoshki wasn’t Moshiach from their very own NT- let alone the misinterpretation of hebrew text they use as prophecy… your typical Ger is so well versed in both, that they are like a nighmare to your garden variety simpleton christy, (most of them are amazingly ignorant of their own books let alone Tanach)
Things Gerim Dont like-
Gerim- have a secret distain for non religious jews- its like you got to be born this way and you just take it for granted????
Right on about the non-religious Jews.
Its not that I can’t watch, just ain’t as much fun when you have to watch alone, or listen to the commentary about how theologically “wrong” it is. Kinda ruins the experience.
I was wondering when you’d chime in. 🙂
So true about non-religious Jews…hate to admit it.
Remind Jews from birth that Ruth, Jethro, and Abraham Avinu, were converts
To say things like before I was Jewish I ate…
Reminding everyone that Moshiach will descend from Ruth the convert
Quoted for truth
I’ll add messing with missionaries and trying to migiyyur them and giving non-Frum born Jews the evil eye to the list. And that idiotic Takanah the Syrians have is so on the negative list as is Chareidi wacko’s “nullifying” conversions because they think if that only Chareidim are frum.
Stuff Gerim like: Israel…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-LqMGxpoR4
Have to say that I don’t have such feelings towards secular Jews.
I intensely dislike Jews who are hostile towards the orthodox, simply because they’re orthodox.
I don’t like the tendency to assume that non-Jews are basically all evil. Doesn’t exist with everyone, but seems somewhat common, particularly in chareidi communities. I also don’t like some FFB Jews who look down on Jews from secular homes/non-Jews, when it’s quite likely they themselves wouldn’t have chosen to live a Jewish life either, if they were born in different circumstances.
Actual conversation from a giyores’s kallah class –
Teacher: I think that’s everything. Any questions?
Kallah: What about the halachos of the first time?
Teacher: Don’t worry about those, they wouldn’t apply to YOU.
Kallah: Actually, they would.
Teacher: *PLOTZ*
Lol so NOT!! haha!
ChevraMaidel,
😮 😮 😮
I’m currently in the process right now, but I’m sorta’ dreading that at Kallah class. Can we chat sometime (about that or Jewish stuff in general)? Here’s my email: HumanitiesGirl@gmail.com
-HG
hmmm, so, can someone out there on the interweb please tell me more of this revoking of conversion? Does this happen?….often? For wearing pants? I’m going to hate to have to do this and show my ass to everyone here, but……
For conversions, my poor understanding was real and not real. halachic or not. Are there varying versions of halachic conversion?
And converting again and again? hmm. Anytime someone can say, I don’t think enough Jew rubbed off on you. I want to test you again.
or just completely revoke it?! My brain is totally wrinkled right now.
How and where and how often is this happening?
haha. You guys have really put the fear in me.
Responses appreciated. Educated ones…even better!
Thanks :o)
I agree with the list, plus a few that have been recurrent around me lately:
– Not all, but I’ve heard this from multiple folks: saying they’re better than those who were born Jewish because they’ve chosen this path and have studied for that. This most recently came from an Conservative convert who’s angry at FFB and BT folks. However, as a BT I’ve studied a lot more than this person ever did and I’m still just starting out.
– Related to the above: hating on secular Jews, or even religious folks who aren’t “frum enough”
– Being condescending toward BTs.
– Looking down on those who don’t constantly use Yiddish in conversations. I use Ladino (I’m Sephardi, my grandparents speak Ladino), which is perceived as “not Jewish enough,” so this always comes up in criticisms.
– Not a plus, just a repeat: the talk about Ruth was a convert, Mashiach, and so on… On Shavuot this is a must.
– Referring to themselves as “M.O.T.”
– Also, not everyone but far too many around me have done this to me: taking everything as an affront. Any “our ancestors remained Jewish despite all difficulties” being responded with outrage by the convert on how they are legitimate Jews, and won’t “take insult” from people who think gerim are less. Okay, but nobody even said that…
– Talking about Christian or Islamic theology (depending on which was their former belief), and arguing “but in christianity/islam…” to anything on Judaism they don’t agree with, or that are different.
– Still celebrating christmas because “Jesus was a Jew”. *Sigh*