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What is the frum way to say you are going to the bathroom?

What terms do frum people use to say they are going to the bathroom?

Do they use any terms at all?

Do they just use the classic #1or #2?

They surely don’t use terms like taking a piss or dump (probably the most common language for this use)

Do you bring it down to the kid level and say “you need to make” or what about doody, kakky, pishy – where on earth did the word Kakky or Kakka as my old man used to call it – come from anyway?

My friend uses two words to describe his bathroom going needs which I find hilarious: For #1 he says he is going B’Kyos and for #2 he says he is going B’Iyun.

Other frummy terms or hints to describe bathroom usage:

Man that cholent is passing right through me

Wow I drank a lot at kiddush

I never eat vegetables, now I know why

I’m gonna be shtieging for a while

I sure hope I don’t miss the haftorah

I need to drain the lizard

Let some challah rolls loose

I to take a Chreft

I’m prairie dogging

I need to grab some real tissues, those bathroom ones have no absorption

Women have it so much better all they have to say is that they are using the ladies or the little girls room!

Anymore you can come up with?

Letters to the Editor 58 letters since 2009

  1. guys can say they are using the mens room.

    also only frum kids say “i need to make”… non jewish ppl dont say that.

    this kid i used to babysit for called #2 “a plop”. as in “i need to make a plop”

  2. In Russian:
    “Go for the big one.”
    “Go for the little one.”

    Kakky or Kakka is the russian way of saying it.
    Maybe the type of Russians who read detective novels and eat sunflower seeds. Certainly not intelligentsia.

  3. This post is too gross, even for me, the ex-Navy sailor.

    My 9 year old son, however, would just LOVE this conversation!

  4. In my parents’ house the toilet is referred to in any of these ways:
    the library
    the university
    the place where the queen goes alone
    Beis Hakisseh
    Umm, I can’t remember any more. Lol!

  5. I was thinking the same thing as Mordechai. “Caca” is the actual Spanish spelling.

    I recently heard “I’m going to go tinkle now” from a college-age girl that is… frum-ish (though she’s frum-ish from birth, I think?).

    The most common I’ve encountered, though – particularly among women – is “I’ll be right back”, followed by a hasty retreat in the general direction of the bathroom.

    … and now I’ll be unconciously watching people for this over Shabbos. Great. 😛

  6. terms for bathroom:
    the deuce pad
    unlce shloime’s chocolate factory
    crapper stacker

    terms for going to the bathroom:
    I have to change my undies
    Oops, don’t wait for me
    Were there jalapenos in the cholent?

  7. My house of course wasn’t Jewish growing up and my Jewish house now isn’t frum but, “I’ll be back. Gotta go to the bathroom.”

    Simple and no allusions to what you’re doing in there. Could be brushing teeth. Who knows? Who cares? I’d rather not think about it.

  8. On a more serious note. The proper which I picked up over my years (perhaps my modernish upbringing) was to say “Excuse me I am going to the restroom or men’s room.”

  9. i heard a funny story from a friend. she refers to #1 as k’tanim and #2 as g’dolim. (she’s israeli). anyway she told her 4 yr old son that he would soon be going to a ‘gan shel g’dolim’ (big boy gan) and he looked at her in shock and horror as if he would be going to a gan full of…

  10. Reading room
    sitting on the throne (as opposed to making an offering)
    go potty (non-Jewish kids, instead “make”) Although, I still say that and I’m grown… wait the jury’s out on that… maybe I’m not grown…

    knit to the loo (British)
    utilize the latrine (US Army way)
    The Navy calls it the head.
    little boys room for guys.

  11. I gotta:
    syphon the python
    drain the main vane

    But the truth is, ch’sidish kinder talk about going “farr excuse”, as in, “Mommy/Tatty, I have to go farr excuse”. Don’t ask why – there’s no good answer.

    While the yiddish ‘pishy’ is still a well used term, b”h, the goyish ‘peepee’ is breathing hot down it’s neck. Yet another sign of yeridas hadoros…

  12. In modern Hebrew, “yeshiva” (accent on the last syllable) means “meeting.” So in my family, if we are going to be in the bathroom a long time, we say “I’m going to a yeshiva.”

    For the Hebrew-challenged on the list, “yeshiva” comes from the root “to sit.” I never even thought (until now) that the word also means Jewish school and hence our comments could be thought of as disparaging.

  13. I hate to correct the above poster, but I’ve never heard a frum child say that they need to make, yet I’ve heard more than a few goyim children say just that… It’s a pet peeve, actually, and I tend to correct the children I hear say it, as it is a bit crude.

  14. my yiddish speaking grandpa used to say, “ich broch pishisn”

    but i still like the best “need to take a sh**” where are you taking it? whom are you giving it to? are you framing it?

  15. I heard that some chassidim in Israel refer to it as “going to the beis haruach” based on discussion in the Gemara. Funny story: was at a multidenomenational event with an Israeli chassidic friend and there was a reform group calling themselves beis haruach. My friend couldn’t stop laughing.

  16. “Can I go see a man about a horse?”

    “Can I go change my oil?”

    “Can I go flush my coolant?”

    “Can I go shoot my squirt gun?”

    “Can I go drop some friends off at the pool?”

    “Can I go bake some brownies?”

    “Can I go claim my throne?”

    “Can I go cast some stink bait?”

    “Can I go take the Browns to the Super Bowl?”

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