Tag: Yiddish

Classic joke · No. 5292

Fentestic!

Two Jewish matrons, friends from the old country, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white pillared mansion in Miami Beach. The…

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Classic joke · No. 5420

Pro Gore?

The National Jewish Democratic Council has produced a campaign button with the photos of the two candidates on it. Under Gore's it says "Gore"…

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Classic joke · No. 5425

Hillary, the adaptable candidate

(from a speech given recently) Ladies of Hadassah. Let me start by saying how nice it is to be among mishpoche. I'm reminded of…

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Classic joke · No. 5127

Me no eat Chinese chazerai

Bernie walks into his local Chinese restaurant and is very surprised to see the owner, Mister Lee, eating gefillte fish, chopped liver and kishke.…

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Classic joke · No. 5149

The Yiddish primer

The Yiddisha Primer Phonetics Definition Sample Use bob(kes) beans, nothing He gave me babkes . kakameyme crazy He's got cacamaimey ideas. khalishes ugly That…

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Classic joke · No. 4384

The rabbi’s confession

Someone overhears the rabbi saying to himself: "Oy ! Do I love Jesus !" The person is flabbergasted and confronts the rabbi: "Rabbi, YOU…

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Classic joke · No. 4396

Facial lotion for Jewish women

Q. What is the name of a facial lotion made for Jewish women? A. Oil of Oy Vey.

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Classic joke · No. 4412

An Egyptian belly dance

Q: What is an Egyptian Belly Dance? A: The Gaza Strip

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Classic joke · No. 4572

The security expert in Scotland

My friend, a Jewish security expert, recently returned from two weeks in Scotland where she was searching for (LOX, LOCKS, LOCHS).

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Classic joke · No. 4576

The Mexican hat dance

A little known fact is that the "Mexican Hat Dance" was originally invented by the Jews, during the reigns of King David and King…

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Classic joke · No. 4582

Battery Park’s favorite song

What is the favorite Jewish song in the Battery Park area of New York? Harbor Nagilah

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Classic joke · No. 4585

Wishing on a star

Jewish: When you saw the first star of the evening, what did JEWISH for?

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Classic joke · No. 4616

Jewish and Italian grandmothers

Q. What is the difference between a Jewish Grandmother and an Italian Grandmother? A. The accent.

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Classic joke · No. 4661

Where Zilberman comes from

Hello everyone! I have been enjoying this discussion about Jewish German names. Well, mine is Zilberman, and we all know what it means: Silverman.…

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Classic joke · No. 4760

The sign at Hebrew University

Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew University: "The future of the Jewish people is in your hands."

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Classic joke · No. 4795

When will He be two?

A Jewish boy in grade school was listening to his Hebrew teacher quoting Scripture. "The Lord our G-d is One," the teacher declared. "When…

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Classic joke · No. 4796

Yiddish vs. English

During the 1930's, Jews on the Lower East Side spoke Yiddish at home and in everyday commerce. Some, however, sought to rise above the…

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Classic joke · No. 4798

Sammy and Becky’s honeymoon

Sammy and Becky go on their honeymoon. Now the sad part of this is that when Sammy is erected, he is about as big…

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Classic joke · No. 4799

The Jewish tea boy

What do you call a jewish tea boy?" "A Hebrew"

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Classic joke · No. 4801

Grandma and the Jewish ballplayer

My grandmother spoke "Yinglish" Yiddish mixed with English and she ran the words into each other. When she asked me about the Jewish Ballplayer,…

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Classic joke · No. 4804

A Yiddish folk tale

A Yiddish folk tale is about a picnic at a nudist kibbutz, it's titled "Goldy Lox and the three Bares"

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Classic joke · No. 4805

A nickel will get you on the subway

A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.

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Classic joke · No. 4806

Oyster

Oyster: A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

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Classic joke · No. 4807

The favorite song of Cuban Jews

What is the most popular Yiddish song among Cuban Jews? Havana Nagela

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