I got a phone call today from a random 718 number, being that I rarely get any phone calls anymore since I moved west I picked it up and on the other end of the line I heard what I could imagine was one of those mixes between yeshivish and Chassidish guys from Boro Park telling me that my father had given him my number and that I was single and looking for a shidduch.
Right away the guy asked me if I went to the Rochester yeshiva and that my name came up because his son went there and that I may be a good match for this girl he knew. He asked me if I had a college degree and what it was in, he asked me what I did for a living and I could see him making mental notes and wondering if I would be able to afford yeshiva tuition. Then he asked me how tall I was, and that’s when I asked him if this was some kind of joke.
I assumed that one of my friends or fans had gotten my cell phone number somehow (it’s not published anywhere) and called me up to play a prank. He then told me that the girl was 5”9 and that was one of the reasons my name came up. I have heard of the height matches in the shidduch world, but have never really experienced them.
I then told him I would call him back, it wasn’t a prank, he actually did get the number from my father. But his concentration on things that weren’t important didn’t convince me that he was worth wasting my minutes on. I told him that I didn’t plan on coming to New York anytime soon and that I was in, it probably wouldn’t be to date some girl from Boro Park. I think he assumed I was a yeshiva guy who went to college – I guess my father failed to mention any other pertinent facts.
5′ 9″? Big deal! My daughter’s friend is 5′ 11″ +, her sister is TALLER than her, and the sister recently got engaged.
I dated a girl 5’11 and I am 5’9
seriously, who really thinks they are going to find true love this way? I would be so mad if some guy I know got some stranger’s number from his dad and tried to set me up with him! I wouldn’t want to tell my grandkids this story. But I’m not very tall 🙁
Sounds familiar, I have a sister who was set up with her husband because she was short enough! She is 5″0 and he is about 5″4. If it increases the man or woman’s confidence to be with someone who is shorter/taller then them then what’s the harm?
Tirtzah Chaya
Heshy – What is your problem? The guy knows your father. he has a right to assume that you are a chip off the old block( Like your father). I am sure your father and him discussed the compatibility of you and her. Also, the guy’s son knows you.
Now, if you think that a girl who is 5′ 11” wants to go out with a guy who is 4′ 8′ I think you have a huge problem. The girl he wants to set you up with is probably gorgeous and intelligent and you are both compatible. I bet you realize that and I wouldn’t be surprised if you asked him who the girl’s name.
I asked the girls name so I could find her on FB, not there.
My father doesn’t discuss such things. He says yeh my son is single, he lives in California, he’s frum – that’s what he would say. Not a lot to go on if you ask me.
I wish I knew how to record a phone call – this guy was priceless – “You have a degree right” – like that determines my financial situation?
Another humorous shadchan story. This was a very good one.
Seriously, I’ve never even dated a girl shorter than me. Never once. Don’t you just hate how superficial some people can be?
I wouldn’t be bothered by this–sometimes matches arranged this way work out. The only cheshbon you really need to make is whether it is worth your while to fly in from the West Coast, based on a somewhat flippant interview such as this (I would say no, you should try to meet girls on the West Coast, to save some degree of money).
The height thing can be a little annoying. Because I am 6 feet (which isn’t huge), I think some people had a tendency to set me up with taller girls, in spite of the fact that I am actually more attracted to girls of medium height. My wife is 5’9, and attractive, so I’m not complaining about it, although truth be known I never envisioned myself with a woman quite her height.
my parents got set up just on the “he’s tall, she’s tall” method.. goin on almost 30 years of marriage now. Im 6’3 and live in NY, someone please tell me where all these 5’9+ jewish girls are?
Nu, why don’t you send your shidduch resume over – I may know of someone
k here it is. no yichus, OTD for a while, plasticware on shabbos. hook a brotha uuuuuuuup.
Heshy, you should have answered, “We’re all the same height lying down.”
Height is an interesting variable. In Western culture there’s strong assortative mating for height but there’s also a fair general correlation with females in our culture preferring taller males also. See http://mjperry.blogspot.com/2010/02/height-matters-income-vs-height-trade.html (too lazy to find the citation for the original paper right now). There’s also some evidence that this doesn’t happen in some other cultures or at least doesn’t happen as strongly.
TJF seeking TJM D/D free, with large portfolio and sense of adventure.
I am 5’4” and have dated 4/5 girls that were 5’5”-5’7”. If you’re confident in who you are, someone’s height should not be an issue, at all!
That being said though, most people are insecure and appreciate ‘the standard’ of having the guy being taller than the girl.
P.S. Some guy in shul this morning opened the tzedaka box and told me, ‘this is the real singles crisis’ and proceeded to show me ~$300 in singles that he needed to sort out. I thought it was funny…
If you really wanted him to know who you are (and leave you alone real quick), you should have directed him to your blog! 🙂
I’m a 5’0 woman and have seen men reject women based on their height. Sort of silly, but perhaps that’s because I have a vested interest in the whole process. My current sweetie is 6’3, and he thinks my height is perfect, so I guess there’s hope after all. 🙂
Do you think there’s hope for us short single men out there?
I like your blog but I think its funny that you’re trying to be a frum satirist on Jews (mainly in NY) and living near Yosemite. Being shocked at this story is something I would expect from someone who’s not connected to the community. I mean seriously 🙂 That’s the shidduch world.
yeah but it is still idiotic. 🙂
I think the pertinent issue was that the man focused on the wrong things.
Heshy sensed that right away; “But his concentration on things that weren’t important didn’t convince me that he was worth wasting my minutes on.”
How could someone who is completely focused on the wrong attributes (that contribute to a successful relationship) possibly set up individuals that are compatible. The focus was off.
It’s one of my biggest gripes when people think shidduchim.
whats the plan?
Hey, some guys off the bat ask for the girl’s circumference. Am I right boys?
Heshy,
5’9″ … can you imagine the pair of legs on her. Heshy, I am a bit dissapointed in you. You could of at least asked for picture… waist down of course…
I’m 6’8″ and have sadly gotten used to dating 5’2″ girls.
Why “sadly”???? What’s wrong with 5’2″ girls?
And in your case, she won’t even have to wear out her knees in certain circumstances 🙂
I thought the 6’2” to 5’0” was bad…. I’m almost afraid to walk around them for fear of squashing them like bugs, and don’t forget eye contact… how do you have eye contact with someone that much shorter.
I’m 6’1, and a woman. Males are intimidated by height, they feel far less masculine. It’s not fair to base your judgement off the height of someone, it gives no real indication to who they are.
Perhaps it’s a bit crude of me to say that there are not enough tall men to go around 5 foot flat women!
She was probably having no luck on the dating scene, so resorted to stuff like phoning up people.