From YWN: I, along with many prominent and well-known askonim, am currently circulating a kol koreh among many rabbonim, gedolim, and roshei yeshiva to decry not only Spirit Airlines, but the practice of flying in general. It is a known fact based on the seforim that our ancestors in Europe did not fly, and it is a clear departure from the practices of past generations to do so.
It has come to our attention that many so called heimishe and frum people are engaged daily in practices that go against out time honored mesorah. Many of these practices are viewed as necessities, but they are just the work of the yetzer harah trying to convince us that the ease brought on by these so called “necessities” are just bringing us down both morally and spiritually. Speak to your local Rav if you need a heter for your parnassah.
Flying: Do you think they flew from Slutsk to Kelm? Do you think Chaim Volozhner needed to fly anywhere? They had it all right there. They never flew and they traveled slowly by wagon so they could admire Hashem’s creations.
Electricity: They didn’t have electricity in the shtetl. Electricity led to the downfall of society and caused loads of immigration to America, the treife medina where many Jews lost their neshamas to gashmius.
Belts: First we stopped wearing hats and then belts made the need for long black coats to cover up our fallen down pants unnecessary. They may have had gartels in the shtetl, but certainly not belts.
Rubber bands: I don’t remember us having any minhagim to do with rubber bands. The bitul torah that they cause is great. I have even heard of yeshiva guys spending precious seder time making rubber band balls.
Deodorant: Profanity, pure profanity to want to smell good for anyone other than Hashem. The rabbis of previous generations never wore deodorant.
Refrigeration: Look at how dumb we have become by going against minhagei yisrael. They used to shehct the chicken on Friday afternoon. There used to be hundreds of shochtim. Now just try and find someone who knows how to shecht — it’s impossible! Due to refrigeration we have become lax in our shechita abilities.
Children’s Shoes: Have you ever seen a picture of the shtetl? None of the kids had shoes – this is a chillul hashem to see children wearing shoes when that money could have gone to a yeshiva. Children’s shoes are not part of our mesorah.
Books: In the shtetl they didn’t have books. If they were lucky they had one siddur. In cheder the children used to learn upside down because the melamed had the only gemara.
Bas Mitzvahs: There is no record of any sefer ever saying girls should get a party when they turn twelve. Married, yes, but a party – this is against the Torah. We cannot believe any self respecting frum person would allow this, but we have heard it happens – out of town of course.
Non-Heimishe Food: How could real yiddisher neshamas eat such foods as Asian, Latin and Sephardic Foods – none of our ancestors ate these foods? It doesn’t talk about moo goo gai pan in the gemara. We have never seen sources mention these foods as kosher. Food from the alter-heim is our time honored mesorah.
“and it is a clear departure from the practices of past generations to do so.”
LOL – quotes such as these are pure gold 🙂
lame and stupid
and to make it 2 against one: brilliant, loved it.
I don’t know if it’s a problem of deviating from mesorah but it’s defnitely asur because there is mixed seating. So yireh shomayim will take to heart and may we all be zoche to bias goel tzedek beyomen amen amen ken yehi ratzon shalom al yisrael.
Make that three to one for. Very funny, especially since it uses their logic precisely.
Am I the only one who thinks this joke has been way overused? We get it: “they” (the elders of zion?) love banning things; hahaha its hilarious. This joke was made less then 10 days ago about separating laundry.
3 against, 2 for.
My thoughts, exactly! Its a tie!
John I love overusing jokes – I write for me – the fact people read it is beyond me, if I get one person more than myself to laugh it’s good enough for me.
So its not just me, good. Though its baloney thta you write just for you, if your blog had zero hits you’d stop writing. Obviously it doesnt and even this overused joke seems to be popular among your readers. Great job keeping people entertained and laughing.
I am not so sure, I write a lot of stuff that isn’t posted here – for myself. Poetry, outdoors writings and stuff about the ladies of my life.
It’s not about being hilarious. In fact the Mesilas Yesharim says that most people know the things he writes about but it is neccessary to internalize the message so one can never stop repeating the words of mussar and toychecha, like it says Ner Mitzva VTorah Ohr Vederech Chayim Tochechas Musar.
Got it, I thought it was meant to be funny. Thanks for clarifying
The rubberband line is great!
… not to mention that Chadash assur min haTorah.
Actually, back in the day when the Chasa”m Sofer made his famous statement, “assur chadash min ha’Torah”, effectively assuring all new inventions (during the time, which was the Industrial Revolution, this was a huge edict), you had people forbidding heaters, electric appliances, all sorts of things we see as commonplace today…
Which is why I see a hiphop section in Mostly Music AND Eichlers by the year 5800 at the LATEST.
your ancestors also did not wait 6 hours but 1 (Rema records this to be the minhag of his area) and it is a break of tradition of your avois to create chumras 😉
it is also against the minhag of your fathers to follow chassidus or daven nusach sphard, or to eat turkey,corn, or any new world staples.
I do wait one hour. I love mentioning that fact in passing as it invariably makes people jealous. What! You wait only one hour? So you don’t have to be scared to make yourself fleishig? You’re so lucky!!!
mwahahahahaha
I have been a long time lurker at this site but the truth will is that i have read that Rema with my own eyes in Shulchan aruch- the real one and the Rema writes that while “some people in and around his community wait one hour- this is not correct.”
sorry bro whoever is into this one hour thing.. i don’t know what if any source they are relying on.
I don’t know either. What I do know, though, is that the Jews from the Netherlands all have this custom. Here’s a quote from koltorah.org “Dutch Jews, however, have maintained the practice to wait only one hour. The commentaries on the Shulchan Aruch offer two sources for this approach. The Vilna Gaon (Biur Hagra 89:6) writes that it is based on the Zohar in Parshat Mishpatim, which speaks of the prohibition to eat milk and meat within one hour of each other. It seems reasonable to assume that this approach essentially follows Tosafot, that one may consume milk following the recitation of Birkat Hamazon after a meat meal. The contribution of the Zohar is the idea of waiting an hour.
The Taz (89:2) cites an entirely different explanation of the practice of some to wait one hour between meat and milk. He writes that it is a compromise between the opinion of Tosafot, who holds that Birkat Hamazon is the only boundary needed between the two meals, and the Rambam who believes that we must wait approximately six hours”
This post sounds like you just wrote down one of your rants. I like it.
Heshy’s whole style is ranting. 🙂
I find the premise amusing, not positive that I like your examples 😀
Comedy Gold Heshy… Comedy Gold!!! When do we get to see a post about FFB vs. BT?
I need more to work with than that
I don’t know what Michal’s problem is. I thought this was very, very clever!
Really? Youve lied in the past
Did I hear a fly buzz? A dog bark?
could very well be, I’ll bet you trained your dog to attack god-fearing Jews. especially those smarter than you.
Tova,
Agreed.
Some may hold that we should only eat “Jewish” foods – the same dishes that our bubbes made in the Alte Heim. But we have always adapted recipes from the surrounding culture. Should we restrict ouselves to a diet of matzah, cholent, and gefilte fish? And the recipes for cholent and gefilte fish also vary according to location. And an interesting fact: Baked beans (with salt pork, and NO tomato products, of course) originated as Puritan cholent – it was prepared on Saturday and simmered until Sunday dinner, in order to avoid cooking on Sunday.
And as far as it goes, “we” didn’t invent all of these. Fish forcemeats existed in Eastern Europe before the Jewish migrations there. We have the old cookbooks showing this. Likewise barley/meat stew. And flatbread. Noodle or root vegetable pudding? Nyet, tovarisch.
Flying is also asur because it might bring you to avodah zara. You might start worshiping the plane.
I don’t think the joke is about people loving to make things assur. Heshy’s joking about the absurdity of enshrining the past and trying to impose it upon the future. Incidentally, the part about traveling in carriages made me remember how when I told one of the rebbeim at the yeshiva where I learned in Israel that I would be taking a five day stopover in London on the way home he was totally condescending, saying something like, “I really have no desire to travel. What could I possibly want to see beyond the yeshiva?”
@ Y-Love- I sadly agree with you, but at the same time according to the ????? ???? ???? ????? ??? ??? This means that anything that is a minhag, has the power to become a din (or decree) that needs to be upheld by all ??? ????? I don’ think the power to decide what becomes a din, should be in the hands of someone who criticizes technology (while writing his words of wisdom on a website of all place lawl)
@ Frum Satire – I think these new ?????? will cause some uproar in the lakewood and boro park kidney stealing, bad mortgage marketing, and insurance fraud communities of the yeshivsh and heimish.
The point is it’s asur until proven mutar. Chazon Ish didn’t allow newly discovered seforim or textual research to influence halacha. If we made a mistake, God must have wanted us to make the mistake and that’s the way it must stay.