I have been getting a lot of complaints about people not being able to comment, bear with me- I have no clue whats going on. Some folks can some cant- if you include links in your comment it is moderated- if not, email me your comment and I will post it.
I love hamentashen, I love the shape the form and the sweet jelly surprise in the middle. Almost like a Jewish Tootsie Roll pop, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop the famous owl asks? That’s kind of how I feel when eating hamentashens. The biggest problem is that good hamentashens are hard to come by, Streits bakery has cornered the hamentashen market by shipping their famous easy to bite cakes everywhere and blocking out all other competition, they are like the Wal Mart of hamentashens and other kosher baked goods- such as matzo- they also own a large percentage of the market since Manichevetz has a little warning label on their matzo boxes warning people that although Pesach is the only time most will be forced into eating this constipation inducing poor mans bread- it in fact is not kosher for Passover.
It bothers me that most folks don’t make their own hamentashens anymore. In our age of quick fixes hour long commutes, blogging addictions, and must see TV- we have lost the will or time to bother with anything non-microwavable. I love the homemade crust; the whole trick is good crust- since everyone cops out and just uses smuckers jam. Might as well have homemade dough, that crunchy dough similar to the stuff that everyone uses to make white cookies proclaiming “it’s a boy” for brisim and shalom zachors. Its almost like pie- without good crust- all is lost.
I cannot tell you the technical differences between different modes of hamentashen design- but I usually am good at spotting a fine piece of hamentashen when all the shalach manos are scattered about someone’s kitchen table. I used to live going to my cousins in Monsey because I felt that frummies and very rich modern orthodox types gave the best most elaborate shalach manos. Purim was the only time of year I got to eat those Israeli wafers that are cheap fillers. I didn’t know this of course- until I got to Israel and saw them in bins in every store, then you get sick of them- and realize that they taste no better then the wafers the priest gives you during communion.
I loved and still enjoy sifting through shalach manos- its like hunting for treasure. Looking in the baskets and baggies filled with fruit rollups, mini kedem grape juice bottles, stacks of peanut chews, sunkist candies, those little sesame seed things, super snacks and of course homemade hamentashens. I could spot one from a mile away, sticking to the roof of a zip locked bag or saran wrapped- with its sides kissing the plastic almost like when someone puts their mouth against a window. Jelly dripping down its sides, those were the days.
I am all about the red or orange jellied ones, usually the venerable apricot and raspberry. One year my friends mom made some of the most delicious strawberry hamentashens out of those yummy sugar laden frozen strawberries. But usually its just ghetto jelly that you have to make due with. I am not a fan of poppy seeds and had no idea where they came from- chocolate also seems so nasty. Maybe my having grown up in an apartheid like situation has lead to my hatred for the colored hamnetashens. No one in my family liked black or brown centered hamentashens, we were very racist in that department, and although we don’t publicize our racism by bagging equal opportunity shalach manos- we still harbor those same feelings as before the politically correct movement came around- I think JOFA started the whole thing about giving every hamentashen a chance before judging it based on the color of its center. JOFA is the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance by the way.
It happens to be that JOFA tried to implement a few years ago a law decreeing that equal amounts of brown dough and white dough be made for the hamentashens shell. The uprising was fierce and thank the Lord for the insular charedi communities of Lakewood and Monsey- who said they would boycott Purim if they would push for such a thing. JOFA members got scared because the only time they actually see charedim is when they protest at JTS or when they send yeshiva guys to collect for their yeshivas, Od Yosef Chai or Lev Leachim on Purim night. Although the two groups hate each other, charedim accept money from them and the JOFA members love to see a bunch of random drunk smelly yeshiva guys singing mi-shenichnas adar in their living rooms.
Would a chocolate hamentash really achieve the status of an actual hamentash anyway? Or would it be reduced to mere cookie status and be resigned to the back rows of the bakery display cases on the 14th of adar?
Another problem I have with the whole manufactured hamentash is that they are really cheap on the jelly. You would figure with lower costs and having a monopoly the least they could do is give us a little more jelly. You know how they accomplished this jelly raping? They engineered a special hamentash design by making the side walls of the triangular cakes very steep, by steepening the angles of the walls, they were able to make the cookies look the same while skimping on the jellied treasures that hamnetashen enthusiasts look forward to every year. Homemade hamentashen have slacker angles and allow more jelly to seep into the inner reaches- this makes the eating process more enjoyable since one need not travel so far to reach the jelly. It also allows each bite to be cherished, rather then the traditional biting just to reach the jelly, it puts the fun back in hamentashen.
Hamentashens also enjoy the status as being the best cookie to drop on the floor and take advantage of the 10 second rule- that I am sure many of us adopted during college. The 10 second rule states: “that one may eat an object off the floor if it is picked up within 10 seconds.” Now of course there are exceptions, drop your pizza slice on a dirty carpet and you are doomed, or maybe that omelet fell on any floor- then you cannot abide by the 10 second rule. The hamentash of course is the greatest cookie to drop- because due to its ergonomic shape it will not roll away, this of course is a common problem with many other cookies. Oreos especially have this issue, their double wide tracks make them easy to roll, and they do tend to gain speed once they hit the ground- trying to evade the clenches of the evil 10 second rule. This has been such a problem recently with hundreds of Oreos rolling under couches- only to be found when Pesach cleaning rolls around- no pun intended.
The triangular shape of the hamentashens is also interesting in that it proves that the Persians were indeed ahead of their time. Nuclear weapons was not the only thing they have progressed in, they have also as seen by the hamentashen hats excelled in fashion way before our dear friend George Washington would don one of these same hats hundreds of years later. It is the Americans that have copied the Persians; I do wonder if the Bushy Crusaders know that Americas founding fathers all wore hamentashen hats- I wonder if they would still be so anti Iran’s world take over.
The folks at Frum Satire would like to wish you a safe and happy Purim. If you get drunk please throw up outside and don’t piss on my lawn. Stay tuned for more Purim Rants.
this is amazing….a nine paragraph post dedicated to hamentaschen…’ve never seen anything like it before….
about lunch, maybe next week when i’m less busy, thanks for the offer, although i dunno if you’d want to have lunch with me….(just thought i’d give you a warning)
Why wouldn’t I want to, its lunch its not a date. This is what people at desk jobs do, they have lunch.
this post seems odly familiar last years?
so true about the ten second rule though ive lost many a reeses cup that way…. sigh
Hey no telling, yes I repost once in a while because MOST people are too lazy to go searching around. I also needed something for purim, because I am working on my longest post ever.
Cool – an ode to Hamantaschen.
I recently read something interesting about our beloved Purim pastry, check it out http://www.torahtots.com/holidays/purim/purim1.htm#foods
Enjoy.
I thought I was just having a flashback from a batch of special hamantaschen. (I’m kidding) I like making chocolate ones and strawberry ones.
hey i love looking at the old stuff – i just discovered you so its all kind of new to me- especially the music ones kudos on your taste in books and music btw i thought i was the only 19 yr old with 80 tr old taste
Well I am 26 but I look 19 so I guess I hear ya. Your not the only one trust me, there are plenty of us reader types holed up on couches trying to convince our roommates not watch so much TV all the time.
you look younger
it is kind of fun to mess with them though when my top 40 obssesed friends will ask me what im listening to i tell them -you know coltrane ,elliot smith, kafka, the shags or somrthing like that
it gives me aweird sense of pleasure when they just take it like ok cool
HEY HESH….did the link i sent u last night help u at all?
Wow you never run out of ideas. I’m all over those red filling ones but it’s just cheap store ones we get all the time, none of my friends and neighbors apparently make their own so I never see them. What a loss. The prune filling has always disgusted me. They usually end up in the chametz furnace with the rest of the non-eaten shalach manos.
Yes the Prune filled ones do end up with the burning chometz in front of shul.
Jenn I did get the link, thank you very much. I have 14 pages so far- I am going to post the dictionary next sunday or monday.
Chocolate hamentashen or aguzim (nuts). And the fresh baked ones are at every decent supermarket with a bakery section here. Yum!
Not to rub it in or anything….
It’s official: I’ve lost all repect for you. It’s FIVE SECONDS, NOT TEN. At first I worried that maybe I had it wrong, that I was confused all this time. Maybe, for all these years I was chucking out food that had a good 5 extra seconds on the clock. I investigated further and I have wikipedia (we can discuss credibility some other time) backing me up!:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five-second_rule
for that project you’ve been working on, this may come in handy:
http://jewishblogdefinitions.blogspot.com/
OMG! you just made me so hungry for Hamentashen!
I also remembered Purim is coming!!!
So excited !! 🙂
btw… I agree with you, the only really good hamentashen are the homemade ones!
Good post 🙂
B”H
Pereg (Mon, Poppy seed) or else you’re not yotzei!
BTW, hamentaschen is already plural. No need for “s.”
You used the singular form correctly, so I think it was just a serial typo.
I hate purim. Kids pissed in the streets. woooh.
Stacy: Elliot Smith is for 80 year olds?
Hey punnk- do you have to hate purim to keep with punks true anarchist image, or do you have a low tolerance.
Glad you all liked the post.
Its not about tolerance. I hate the chilull hashem and the simple annoyance of 14 year olds vomiting on the sidewalk. I hate the fools people make of themselves.
I hate stupidity and the sight of it and Jews on purim are my bane.
i used to be a major fan of poppy seed hamentashen but now i just go forany jelly.
hey! i just noticed you tried linking to me. thanks a lot. i am complimented. … but you miss spelled chnyock!
actually i am far from a chnyock but those super duper holy rollers you see running about monsey are called CHNYOCK
CHNYOCK.BLOGSPOT.COM
frum– wow someone after my own heart ive always hated purim the its the14 yr olds vomiting, the 300 dollar baskets everyone trying to outdo themselves and for g-ds sake will someone please explain to me the point of a theme? seriously is that what purims about?
i was listening to elliot smith while writing the other comment
Actually that’s the entertainment of my purim just walking around flatbush at young teens going out of their wits, vomitting everywhere, pretending to be yeshivish and not yeshivish at the same time, smoking for the first time, entering random houses uninvited and emptying their fridgerators, limos and hummers everywhere blocking traffic, cops looking away from all the fireworks people managed to get their hands on from Pennsylvania, and chicks that are whoring around the bachurim that aren’t noticed all year around but finally might get recognition from a drunk masmid.
i agree with you guys. i always felt that purim wasn’t a fave. holiday for women (check it out on my blog)
Yeh I agree Headbanger and since I don’t really drink, its all the more entertaining, I just watch at the drunken madness. I am waiting for sheitles to be ripped off.
In Rochester everyone tried to outdo each other in terms of being clever, by having themes. No fancy tissue wrapped baskets filled with Israeli wafers.
Tow years ago I made my first themes shallach manos. I called mine ghetto shallach manos. Took a paper bag, put in a 40-oz of colt 45, threw in a munchy cake and wrote ghetto on the bag.
i’m doing a really cool theme this year. it’s called purim. i’m putting grape juice/beer, hamentaschen, and other purim shaped cookies.
how original?
Dude!!! No way, that rocks. I am doing what I do every year- actually I’ll write a post about it.
are you going to be in monsey for purim? i’m warning you-it sucks here
Probably not, since I don’t know anyone, I might as well go somewhere I know people. I have loads of cousins- but I would rather be with my peeps.
Hesh,
Your complaint on how they’re cheap on the jelly reminds me of a Mitch Hedberg joke saying that the word imprinting on a Kit-Kat bar robs you of chocolate.
Stacy,
Don’t let “the man” tell you what’s top 40.
Good one yochanan, whats the deal with the lack of comments from you.
Is the new job taking up too much time.
if anyone knows where i can find a recipe for sugar free gluten free hamantash i would appreciate it
thanks
Oh Stacy you have got to check out my friends site.
http://healthyshabbat.com
If she doesn’t have it- you should email her.
Stacy, google “hamantaschen sugar free gluten free”, the first link on the list is a very good looking recipe. I tried to post the link yesterday but it hasn’t shown up.
Hey Chanie if you post a comment with a link do tell me- any linked comments go to spam and I have to manually moderate- popular blogs get too much spam as you can see on my recent comments.
Luckily its pretty obvious which comments are real and which are spam.
hey thanks for the info both sites actually have the same recipe
hesh-your friends site is really cool so useful!
My Top 3 Jewish/Israeli foods
3 – Latkes
2 – Hamentashen
1 ????? ??????